[Justice]

Once again I bring up the question I asked in the other thread. Many victims of domestic abuse don't recognize what is happening to them as abuse. They don't report it to the authorities for many reasons, one being their don't think what their partner did was a crime. Do you still think that just because the victim does not believe it to be a crime, then it isn't. Or only crimes the victim believes to be a crime should be reportable?

A crime is a crime if it meets the definition of the crime, not if their victim feels it so. And that goes both ways. If a victims doesn't feel something that is clearly meeting the definition of rape wasn't rape, it is still rape. Same way, just because somebody feels like something was rape but doesn't meet the legal definition, it isn't rape. It may be immoral or indecent behavior. It may even be a different type of assault or maybe an unsatisfied sexual partner, but the victims feelings about the actions doesn't make it rape. The facts make it rape. Yes, we want to be considerate for the person's feelings, but that doesn't define criminal acts.

Reporting is a different topic. Although I support victims reporting, we also have to consider that reporting and possibly going through a trial can be very traumatizing. That is why it is up to the victim to decide if they want to go through with it. I wish everybody would report, just so there weren't so many rapists walking around today, but it seems unfair to put that burden on victims.

Edit

Tywana Brawley and the Duke Rape case come to mind.

[DreamP346]

Edit
This thread is getting too heated and instead of being a debate feels like a personal attach. I will not be reading this thread any more. I come to WH to get advice, give advice, make friends and engage in healthy debates. Not feel like I am being attached. I wouldn't be surprised if many others are feeling the same.

[Baboy]

Edit .

My comment about alcohol and drugs "ignored" nothing. I have made it plan throughout that I was addressing the advice given and what should have been appropriate advice, on the other thread. I did not even post to this thread until stillness commented:

"I do think it's taking something very serious too lightly to start calling people rape victims and telling them to go to the police or file a lawsuit without having all of the details. That kind of stuff can make people's lives very rough." It was to that my response was directed.


I regret this matter has unfolded as it has. More united we might have been of greater service to someone in need. Instead, our efforts have been directed to maintaining something of a petty squabble over who is right when, in the end, there probably is no clear right to be found.

J., let's endeavor to prevent this from devolving into what Little aptly characterized on another thread as a 5-page hissy fit. You're probably a fine person, with many talents, same of which I no doubt lack, and you don't need an undeserved dressing down from me or anyone else. We'd probably get along just fine if we met in person. You have been around here for awhile and made some worthwhile contribution. Although it might not look like it, I really do not intend to derogate from that.

So, I know it's nigh irresistible to get in the last word. We've drawn each other out here and even stillness, who was the catalyst for this somewhat unseemly spectacle, has shown considerable wisdom and restraint in not wading deeply into the morass. So, indulge yourself in the last word, if you will, secure in the knowledge that I'll not come roaring back in high dudgeon with another full frontal assault on your peace and dignity.

[Baboy]

I just now read the last 2 posts to this thread (well, there are 2 of of this writing, maybe more will sneak in), by Justice and sp346, both of which were posted as I was composing my most recent vitriolic diatribe.

I am going to resist the temptation to say anything further, to jump to the defense of sp346 or otherwise. She is right that this thread has outlived its usefulness to anyone and I'll leave well enough alone.

[Stillness]

Do you still think that just because the victim does not believe it to be a crime, then it isn't. Or only crimes the victim believes to be a crime should be reportable?

No, I don't. The posts didn't clearly fit the definition of rape any more than my situation, Justice's, or the situation rcoreyus eavesdropped in on.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I've just come back from a Funeral. I'm closing this thread so that Little and I can view it properly and it seems, whenever serious discussions take place of late, on this Forum, no one seems to just have an opinion, it becomes a debate of such manic proportion that arguments again occur and I felt that this could a good topic for Adults to discuss.

Thank you .

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I've read the thread in its entirety on my side of things I would like to state this.

It was made very clear in another thread by myself and reported to Little and the Mods that a new one on "general" discussion could be had/made. That means, "general" on the said topic.

What occurred is exactly what I requested not to occur.

I'd also like to point out if a said subject is too close to your heart, do not post either a Thread or a post, honestly for your own sanity. I noted two threads were pulled into this one and for that reason, some members perhaps felt the need to cut and paste and stand by their thoughts where otherwise, perhaps, they would not have.

I noted a few talked in general for that, thanks.

Thread remains closed indefinitely and should Little see fit to add, she will.