[PinkySweet]

I really like my husband to be dominate with me. Sometimes when Im feeling really submissive I want to feel like his sex toy, for a lack of better words.

He did express to me a couple years ago that he really loves it when I'm dominate with him. So Ive began to do that a lot more often.

[Patti-here]

I can't be dominant in bed with a man, it's not built into me, I'm far to passive in bed with a man, with my current lover (a woman) things can take a different twist though

[Something_Awesome]

The allure for me is not that I desire to submit as much as I am attracted to my GF being dominant. I've been taught that women are fragile/delicate, and that there is beauty in fragility. But you know what, there is beauty in my delicate GF being domineering. It is such a sexy contradiction!! She is very lady like on the outside. Her parents even sent her to etiquette class when she was little. It just blows my mind every time when the beast comes out. This balance between delicate and strong, and gentle and aggressive is just a huge turn on.

So it's not just the domineering part by itself that makes it work for me, but the domineering part of her coupled with how she is outside of the bedroom. Hope what I am saying makes sense!

[atskitty2]

*something: I think that does it for a lot of men. The "lady on the street, but a freak in the sheets" thing

[Stillness]

These types of conversations are so interesting to me because there's so much I don't understand. I don't know if I'm too square, simple-minded, or what. My question is: What does "dominate" mean?

If it means aggressive and passionate I understand that. I get play: You're the cop and I'm the robber tonight - or whatever. But, I've been told twice on this site (by women who almost seemed offended) that their lifestyle is not play. That's when it seems to mean "controlling." That's the stuff that I don't get. It sounds abusive.

[DreamP346]

These types of conversations are so interesting to me because there's so much I don't understand. I don't know if I'm too square, simple-minded, or what. My question is: What does "dominate" mean?

If it means aggressive and passionate I understand that. I get play: You're the cop and I'm the robber tonight - or whatever. But, I've been told twice on this site (by women who almost seemed offended) that their lifestyle is not play. That's when it seems to mean "controlling." That's the stuff that I don't get. It sounds abusive.

The dom/sub play can be in the bedroom only or a lifestyle. There aren't many people who live the lifestyle everyday. Within the BDSM community there are many levels people engage in.

I think the domination discussion we are talking about in this tread is more about being assertive, maybe bossy, wearing the pants in the bedroom. At least that is what I'm talking about. In general, women tend not to be the initiator. So for a woman to be dominant is often not the norm in most relationships.

[jen1447]

The sad thing is I am extremely ticklish and I know when we are "done" she is going to try to tickle the hell out of my feet before she removes the restraints.

Oh that reminds me, foot worship plays a role too. Also some other forms of 'worship' - queening (facesitting), kisses for the bum, etc.

[Motorguy]

I think me and wife just a little with spanking and role playing dressing up but never got into whips or handcuffs, But will enjoy trying new things in bedroom what ever the wife reads or hears she like to try in bed. She out of town till tomorrow night going to be interesting what she came up with for the bedroom again when she gets home we will soon find out Saturday night what it is lol.

[CuriousYellow]

We both love it, not kinky, just tied up and have your way.

[MrB]

Such a good thread.
I'm personally turned on when my wife is Dominate/aggressive. But I think for me its the Want/Passion/Desire for me that turns me on so much. Maybe its that I want my ego stroked I dont know. But when she is aggressive dominant it drives me crazy. She is more the quiet reserved type so the alter ego is magnified and really drives me wild. Now, the level of dominate/aggressive may vary from person to person. But the concept is the same. I love it all. I am of the mindset that if she is that turned on and wants to X , y, or Z I'm game. The turn on for me is that she is turned on. Now like I said my wife isn't as aggressive or even vocal about what she wants but she does have that side in her. There are times when I take her to the edge for as long as I can and as many times as I can until she cant take it anymore and the dominate woman inside her takes over.

I don't give her the O.....she takes it from me....sweet sexual bliss.