[jen1447]

It does have to be handled delicately. I'm not the gun-and-run type, so if I actually get a woman to the point where she's feeling that way or having some life changes, I stay with them to sort of guide them thru it. The last thing they need at that point is for you to turn your back on them.

People underestimate what others are capable of a lot of the time. I've found that they are pretty much able to handle 'rejection' (as in "no I can't be your permanent GF but I'm still here for you," not "it's crazy but my phone stopped working" blowoffs) when you are decent and straight up and supportive with them about it.

[Something_Awesome]

Jen, I thought you were 25? Ok, now everything makes sense. As far as ego goes, well... ego does not bother me the way it bothers other people. If I feel like you have a good reason to be egotistical, then it doesn't bother me.

The truth is, I love it when my GF gets hit on by guys. However, I can get jealous and insecure when she gets hit on by another female. She once told me how she got hit on by another female at school. This girl, who I am guessing was a little more of a tomboy, wore a dress to my GF's class hoping my GF would notice her. How do I know this? The girl told my GF that she wore a dress just for her (how charming). She obviously sounded desperate, but it still made me a little jealous.

I had this idea (at a very young age) that every female thought about being with another female at least once in their life and that they all had untapped wiring in their brain that could drive them to become lesbian. I perceived this like in my mid-teens (I know, pretty perceptive). This "wiring" idea is scary to me because I cannot compete with that. It's also scary when I come across women that confirm it.

I am secure about other guys hitting on my GF because I can play the game against them. I know what the rules are. But when it comes to women? I feel like they have home field advantage. I don't know the rules of their game. It is a bit scary because my GF has this friend (also from school) who I would say is a straight female that can enjoy being with females (she has been with females according to my GF). Not sure I could call her totally bi-sexual. They have been spending a lot of time together the past two-to-three months and have been tanning together all this month. My GF even told me that this friend finds her "pretty." Honestly, this friend makes me feel a little insecure. She asked my GF if she can watch us have sex, but I feel like it is a ploy. I feel like it is not about her having a "kink" about watching live people have sex, but about her just being able to enjoy my GF. Maybe she intends to use it as a stepping stone for manipulating my GF into sleeping with her?

Also, I did not read the last 3-4 responses yet (in a time crunch), but I will later on!

[jen1447]

I actually understand your insecurity and think you have a really good point there about competing when you don't know the 'rules' .... never really thought of that. The realities are still pretty plain here tho. There are a lot more bisexual women than men, so it's only natural that women are going to be lusted after and hit on by both sexes quite a bit. There's nothing you can do about that. But you just need to trust your GF. Somehow I doubt this girl from school has quite the 'mad skillz' that I do, so chances are your GF will resist her, even if she's potentially turned on a bit or just flattered. The fact that we can have sexual desire for women and men doesn't automatically make us sex maniacs who throw off our clothes at the first sign of an interested woman. There's no magic girl switch like that, and you should trust in your GF's self control. In most cases () it will be enough.

And I'm 35 btw. Been in this racket for like 15+ years!

[Stillness]

I had this idea (at a very young age) that every female thought about being with another female at least once in their life and that they all had untapped wiring in their brain that could drive them to become lesbian.

This seems to be "common knowledge." My cousin and I just got into a little discussion and he felt the same way. Even if it were true (and I think it's demonstrably false), there are plenty of women that would be satisfied and loyal to one man. So, the question is not about every woman, but yours. Is she one of them? If she is then you just have to worry about you and her, not women in general, some freaky friend, or somebody on the internet claiming they can steal her sight unseen.

[Patti-here]

Still, you might want to Google "Bi curious women in the USA" the findings may surprise you.

[Stillness]

Patti, I think that sexuality is a complex thing. I don't pretend to understand it all. But, I know that data can be manipulated. I had homosexual contact when I was younger. Someone seeing that in a study might draw conclusions about my proclivities from that, when the fact is that I am firmly heterosexual.

In the majority of the studies I've seen, homosexuality and bisexuality are slightly more prevalent in men. Where I think the differences are is in the cultural views toward male and female homosexuality, toward sexuality in general, and the fact that women are prettier.

[Patti-here]

Patti, I think that sexuality is a complex thing. I don't pretend to understand it all. But, I know that data can be manipulated. I had homosexual contact when I was younger. Someone seeing that in a study might draw conclusions about my proclivities from that, when the fact is that I am firmly heterosexual.

In the majority of the studies I've seen, homosexuality and bisexuality are slightly more prevalent in men. Where I think the differences are is in the cultural views toward male and female homosexuality, toward sexuality in general, and the fact that women are prettier.

I don't know Still, I saw some studies that said that 60% of US females are at least Bi- Curious, doesn't mean they're acting on it, just means they're thinking about it. Yes things can be taken out of context, but I don't know what the surveys were based on..

and yes we are 'prettier' thank you very much

[Stillness]

What does that mean, though? I've seen quite a few guys saying they're heterosexual come on this site talking about fantasies with men or just flatly saying they'd have sex with men under the right circumstances. If you hang out here long enough or look at enough of the older threads you'll see plenty of men that want to have sex with another man and their wives/girlfriends...or at least fantasize about it. Apparently, it's not that uncommon a fantasy for men. That all sounds pretty "bi-curious" to me, if not flat out bisexual.

I guess I'd like to see the results from the same study conducted on men.

P.S. I just did this search in Google Scholar: "Women Bisexual Study." I got this paper as the second hit "How many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender?" done by The Williams Institute and published April 2011. On page 6 it has results that show a slightly larger percentage and number of LGB men 3.6% of men versus 3.4% of women. The percentage of homosexual men is significantly higher than that of the women 2.2% versus 1.1%. But the percentage of bisexual women is significantly higher than that of the men 2.2% versus 1.4%.

What that says to me is that men and women are roughly equally as likely to have homosexual proclivities. But of those that will, more men will be strictly homosexual. So more women of that group will be bisexual. It's not saying that all women, or even a majority of the population, have some untapped desire.

HomoChart.png

I believe that the aspects of our culture that encourage bisexuality largely account for at least some of the higher numbers with women. There may be some nature to it, but either way, it's not anything that a man who loves a woman needs to be worried about.

[Patti-here]

I might be looking at it from bias position Still...

[Stillness]

I might be looking at it from bias position Still...

Everybody is. Smart people are humble enough to admit it.