[ariel]

My boyfriend who is 22 this year.. His penus has gone soft especially when doing doggie style.. its very difficult to insert in as it's not that hard.. And he always gone soft after a while.. why is this so? even if it is erected fully.. it is not straight.. its a little curvy.. well.. i kept pondering am i not attractive enough? its kinda sad.. n hurting.. i kept to myself cuz i dont wanna hurt him too.. i'm 20 and not fat.. what's the problem? what should i do? Please help..

[rcoreyus]

My boyfriend who is 22 this year.. His penus has gone soft especially when doing doggie style.. its very difficult to insert in as it's not that hard.. And he always gone soft after a while.. why is this so? even if it is erected fully.. it is not straight.. its a little curvy.. well.. i kept pondering am i not attractive enough? its kinda sad.. n hurting.. i kept to myself cuz i dont wanna hurt him too.. i'm 20 and not fat.. what's the problem? what should i do? Please help..

Its not your fault. It might be a physical problem.

One sad problem for men is that when they get performance anxiety, their performance gets worse - and it snowballs.

If this is a short term problem, just ignore it, find other things to do with him. If you do oral on him, is he also soft?

Does he use condoms? Some men have a very difficult time maintining an erection with one.

[ariel]

Hmm.. We have never done oral sex... I don't know how to do that.. always felt choking.. any suggestions? yeap he used condoms.. But always have to wait till it is erected fully before putting on condom.. If not it will came off loose..

[rcoreyus]

I think one check to see if it is a physical problem is if he ever has good erections.

I'm a man. I've always had difficulties with condoms. Maybe he can try different brands - some fit better than others. This could easily be the source of the problem.

As far as oral sex: Its not necessary to go deep, you can use your hands at the same time. I'm not saying you need to do this if you don't like it, but some couples use it to stiffen things up if he goes a bit soft.

[ariel]

What's a good erection? Which condoms are better? Please recommend some =p
Well..
As for oral sex.. I felt disgusting.. is there any other ways i can tink so that i can satisfy him..

[dawn9800]

Hand job... that always works for us! Does he drink? My bf looses it when he drinks..

[BandofGypsies]

I have this happen from time to time... when it first happened my girlfriend was giving me oral, and then we moved into 69 which is when I went soft. She thought it was because i was no longer attracted to her, which wasn't the case, because just seeing her in her bra was enough to give me the erection in the first place. But it was the first time she gave me oral, and she had been holding back doing that for sometime into the sexual relationship. I was extremely anxious at the time, because I wanted everything to be just perfect that night (it was my birthday).

There were other times after that, and I talked with a therapist about it -- we determined that it was stress related, that most of male sex performance issues are stressed related.

Just because we WANT sex doesn't mean that we CAN have it if our brains are fighting.

Essentially you want to be in a blissful mood and mode, such that you totally give your self to the moment at hand and enjoy your partner's body and the pleasure you're receiving and giving. Then it's like you don't want to stop.

[metboogie]

Totally agree with the above...

As far as a "good erection" - a large number of mens penises are curved in some way when fully erect - so that could be normal...but basically a good erection is when it stands up straight on its own...if you don't like oral, try using your hands, breasts, even your hair can be a real great teaser...

[ariel]

Hand job... that always works for us! Does he drink? My bf looses it when he drinks..

He doesn't drink.. hmm..

Thanks for the advice guys =p..

Another question here.. Do you think guys mind if their gf are no longer a virgin? well.. i had a feeling that he minds a lot.. he admits once.. he said he minded a bit.. can this be the reason why he softens?

[metboogie]

Honestly - I never minded that my wife wasn't a virgin, I just don't want to know how many men she has been with and I certainly don't want to know who they are or any details of another man being inside her.