[cathygirl]

I have all kinds of wild (and in the minds of some, I'm sure "sick") fantasies I would NEVER share with anyone. That's why I'm not sharing them here ;-) Fantasies are just that... they are not reality. They are thoughts. There is no thought you can think that a bazillion other women haven't thought of. We just don't always blab about it :-)

[effy2014]

That's part of the fun about being anonymous on the forum . . . to blab about our sexual fantasies and interests. It doesn't matter whether lots of people have the same fantasy or that someone may find it sick. You may get enough support here to try it with your SO.

[cathygirl]

That's part of the fun about being anonymous on the forum . . . to blab about our sexual fantasies and interests. It doesn't matter whether lots of people have the same fantasy or that someone may find it sick. You may get enough support here to try it with your SO.

Somehow I don't think my husband will want to try having ten muscular black men with deep voices rape me while strapped to a saddle...

[cathygirl]

So what about fantasies of:

1. brother/sister incest, father/daughter incest, mother/child incest, etc.?
2. Rape? Gang rape?
3. Being a child and then molested?
4. other things I'll not mention, but even more taboo than these?

Are these kinds of topics, which can evoke severe condemnation among most people, be legitimate topics of erotic fantasy? These are NOT things anyone wants to really try. They would be horrific experience if they REALLY happened. But fantasy? Don't these make you at least a little uncomfortable to discuss?

[beethovengenius]

So what about fantasies of:

1. brother/sister incest, father/daughter incest, mother/child incest, etc.?
2. Rape? Gang rape?
3. Being a child and then molested?
4. other things I'll not mention, but even more taboo than these?

Are these kinds of topics, which can evoke severe condemnation among most people, be legitimate topics of erotic fantasy? These are NOT things anyone wants to really try. They would be horrific experience if they REALLY happened. But fantasy? Don't these make you at least a little uncomfortable to discuss?

Anyone who has fantasies of being raped or raping someone is clearly an ignorant and rather callous person who don't know what they are talking about.

Thankfully I've never been a victim of sexual abuse, however I do know one person who was and is now scarred for life.

[effy2014]

I disagree completely with Beethoven and his judgments. Real rape is based on violence and domination, not sexiness and fantasy. Rape fantasies are quite common -- it's generally not [I]really[I] rape but rather the use of some force with a very sexy stranger(s). Cathygirl's fantasy of 10 black men raping her while strapped to a saddle is a sexual fantasy where she is overcome . . . Not raped. No one actually fantasizes about brutal rape as it happens in real life.

Incest, while taboo, doesn't make me uncomfortable to discuss. A little odd as a fantasy, but Kate Upton isn't my sister. I do find a fantasy of being a child and then molested fairly disquieting and would urge that person to go into therapy.

While we may be in control of our daydreams, we are probably not in control of some of our fantasies. Not discussing your fantasies will not make them go away but discussing them in a forum of thoughtful and (almost) non-judgmental people may help you gain some insight. For example, a while ago, a man wrote about his fascination with gay porn. It didn't make him gay any more than your 10 black men fantasy was asking to be raped.

So, to answer your question, while it may make me incredibly uncomfortable if my SO told me about a fantasy to have sex with her brother (or any other man, quite frankly), I can't think of a subject that I wouldn't discuss on this forum. It might make me upset (as did a recent thread claiming superiority of men and white people) and I might express a strong opinion, but it is not beyond discussion.

[effy2014]

Somehow I don't think my husband will want to try having ten muscular black men with deep voices rape me while strapped to a saddle...

No, but parts of it could be accomplished with role play and and toys. Say, for example, that part of your fantasy was the notion of being screwed with huge penis . . . porn star sized. Your H could buy one to strap on and strap you down (the saddle is interesting from a physics standpoint, you may have to explain that) to something.

[Magnetism]

Anyone who has fantasies of being raped or raping someone is clearly an ignorant and rather callous person who don't know what they are talking about.

Thankfully I've never been a victim of sexual abuse, however I do know one person who was and is now scarred for life.

Believe it or not, some sexually abused and raped people DO fantasize about being raped. Or, they are only able to get off in situations where they are victimized.

It sounds crazy, but it's b/c the survivor is programmed to do only what they know. Not all sexual abuse and rape survivors are like this, and some don't want to re-enact their experience. But, others complain about having difficulty with getting turned on by "healthy sex." Everyone is different.

[beethovengenius]

I disagree completely with Beethoven and his judgments. Real rape is based on violence and domination, not sexiness and fantasy. Rape fantasies are quite common -- it's generally not [I]really[I] rape but rather the use of some force with a very sexy stranger(s). Cathygirl's fantasy of 10 black men raping her while strapped to a saddle is a sexual fantasy where she is overcome . . . Not raped. No one actually fantasizes about brutal rape as it happens in real life.

Incest, while taboo, doesn't make me uncomfortable to discuss. A little odd as a fantasy, but Kate Upton isn't my sister. I do find a fantasy of being a child and then molested fairly disquieting and would urge that person to go into therapy.

While we may be in control of our daydreams, we are probably not in control of some of our fantasies. Not discussing your fantasies will not make them go away but discussing them in a forum of thoughtful and (almost) non-judgmental people may help you gain some insight. For example, a while ago, a man wrote about his fascination with gay porn. It didn't make him gay any more than your 10 black men fantasy was asking to be raped.

So, to answer your question, while it may make me incredibly uncomfortable if my SO told me about a fantasy to have sex with her brother (or any other man, quite frankly), I can't think of a subject that I wouldn't discuss on this forum. It might make me upset (as did a recent thread claiming superiority of men and white people) and I might express a strong opinion, but it is not beyond discussion.

What the hell are you talking about? Fantasy rape vrs real rape is ok? Clearly both you and Cathy have no idea what rape really is. Here is a short definition of rape "an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation". What if a man has a fantasy about raping a woman? And what if this man had a few beers on him and he was with a woman who also had a few beers on her, you see where I'm going with this?

By condoning such horrible and disturbing fantasies such as rape in men and women you are normalizing the concept of rape as something good.

By the way victims of rape are far more likely to commit or attempt suicide, such is the extent of this brutal and heinous act.

[effy2014]

What the hell are you talking about? Fantasy rape vrs real rape is ok? Clearly both you and Cathy have no idea what rape really is. Here is a short definition of rape "an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation". What if a man has a fantasy about raping a woman? And what if this man had a few beers on him and he was with a woman who also had a few beers on her, you see where I'm going with this?
.

First of all, no one is condoning rape. Second, we were talking about a female fantasy, not a male fantasy. Males who fantasize about raping women need treatment.

Third, I have a complete understanding of the nature of rape and it's consequences. However, you chose not to believe that a woman's rape fantasy is not a fantasy of being brutalized.

Just so we deal in facts, here are some. According to a recent article in Psychology Today:

"A recent analysis of 20 studies over the last 30 years indicates that between 31% and 57% of women have rape fantasies, and these fantasies are frequent or preferred in 9% to 17% of women. Considering that many people are ashamed to report rape fantasies, these stats are most likely lowball figures." So, my friend, you have labeled up to half of all women "callous" and ignorant.

As I wrote in my post, there is a huge difference between a rape fantasy and actually being raped. The article postulates a. Umber of reason why women might have this fantasy. A clinical psychologist made this observation "At one level, they pose little problem because they represent a highly normative part of female sexual fantasy," he said; many women have them, and most of these woman easily distinguish between reality and fantasy."