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  • jennypenny
    Member
    • Jun 2014
    • 17

    I feel so ashamed; I even cannot speak about it to my best friends.

    We have been married for 5 years and 3 months. Our sex life was normal, I mean nothing special, but we love each other a lot. Usually my husband does not drink, only on very rare occasions; he likes to do sport a lot. I am not a big drinker myself, but last month we went to a wedding party and somehow decided to get totally drunk.
    We came back home and started to have drunk sex and at some point I said something like “I will do anything you want” or something like that.
    I am not sure what happened, but after couple minutes my hand was inside my husband, I am not sure how it’s happened, but he was moving on my fist and it went so deep, It was not scary or awful for that moment I think I was too drunk to understand, so I continue to let him ride on my arm.
    At some point he took my hand out and put his sperm inside me, I have not seen so much sperm for a long time and after that he asked me to give it back to him. I could understand what he wants, he just pull me to his face and started to eat his own sperm.
    Next day was as usual, I was too ashamed to speak with him about it, but he was normal like nothing happened.
    BUT I DO NOT understand how my arm went into his … almost up to elbow, so he was practising without me knowing a lot? Why he was eating his sperm is he gay? Why after 5 years I have no idea who my husband is? But now when we are having sex, I can’t top thinking about his ****** and my hand in it… I think there is something wrong with me, I want to feel his body inside again, but it is completely wrong.
    Maybe somebody knows what to do and how to fight this problem.
  • effy2014
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 1777

    What is the problem? A little kinky but certainly not shameful or horrific. Does it mean he is gay? Absolutely not. There is actually a thread in this forum about eating sperm from one's partner. I suggest you read it.

    First thing is talk to him about it. The two of you are married for goodness sake. Ask your questions. All of them are legit. Find out why he likes it, when he has done it etc. It is fair game to ask if he has had a bisexual encounter. Make it safe for him to talk freely.

    He does have a right to expect that you will not judge him. Tell him about your feelings -- both pro and con. Maybe this will spice up your sex life. Maybe not. But try to keep an open mind and an open pathway for communication.
    "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      A guy may pull out of his girl and get her to continue by giving him a bj: does that make her a lesbian because she was tasting her own juices? No way. Your husband not being afraid of his own juices does not make him gay. Your fisting him probably created a prostrate massage which is the reason he unloaded. Also, had you orgasmed? Was he eating you out just for his own semen or was he possibly trying to get you off?
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

      • Something_Awesome
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2014
        • 1219

        he must have been practicing! I'd be surprised if you could fit 2 fingers up mine!
        Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 06-10-2014, 01:15 AM.
        "Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447

        Comment

        • CHANDLERS WISH
          • Mar 2008
          • 22440

          The only conclusion I can make of this, is that he took advantage of the fact you were drunk to gain something he already is doing, how do you feel about that?

          This is not a fantasy there are too many elements involved on his behalf.

          It reads as one of those stories you, well read..

          The reality is, you think about it and liked it.. So, sounds like he knew you would.

          So the problem is?
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment

          • jennypenny
            Member
            • Jun 2014
            • 17

            Thank you for answers, calling inserting half of hand into my man's body a little kinky, I think it is perversion. I mean I have been searching on Google and I have not found any young straight man who can insert so big objects. Usually those people are gays or old perverts. My husband is only 25 and I know him from school, I never knew that he can do something like that. I am not an expert but my hand went inside easy without tension, on other forum users said that he is gay for sure, but hiding it from me. Also they told me that I think that i liked so much to put my hand inside him and to see him eating his juice, because it is shocking for me and and it is not normal.
            I do not know I have had very little experience with other man, so I do know why I feel so bad, but I do not think that normal couples will do it, do they ? How to get rid of my strange thoughts? I have tried to insert a finger into my bum and it is very tight and was not very pleasant, how he could do that with my hand ? He is very young for that

            Comment

            • CHANDLERS WISH
              • Mar 2008
              • 22440

              I am not an expert but my hand went inside easy without tension
              How do you know that?

              I am just curious because you were drunk and he was drunk yet you can recall how it entered but then in your post you can't remember .

              ?
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment

              • effy2014
                Veteran Member
                • Apr 2014
                • 1777

                No one except him knows if he is bisexual. Rather than trust what people on this or other boards write, ASK HIM. Couples communicate. This is your husband, not an old pervert. Have him explain.

                I would also try and tone down your judgments. Don't rely on Google to form an opinion. You found fisting him oddly exciting and wouldn't mind doing it again. Activities between heterosexual couples are not gay. You should read the discussions in this forum about women "pegging" men. It will open your eyes on what could be normal to others.

                Your husband deserves the benefit of the doubt. He deserves a wife who can communicate her fears openly and lovingly. I suggest you do so.
                "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

                Comment

                • effy2014
                  Veteran Member
                  • Apr 2014
                  • 1777

                  Originally posted by Something_Awesome
                  he must have been practicing! I'd be surprised if you could fit 2 fingers up mine!
                  I'd be careful SA. Jen might send this to SAGF and she could take that as a challenge.
                  "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

                  Comment

                  • bubba29
                    Senior Member
                    • Feb 2013
                    • 116

                    well, as you speculated, i too think he has been practicing. it doesn't necassarily mean he has been having sex with men or that he is bisexual. maybe he is afraid to reveal this side of himself to you. alcohol tends to remove inhibitions. he obviously enjoyed it and so did you based on your desire to do it again.

                    you can either let this experience bring you together or let it push you apart. i have a feeling, if you have an open, honest talk about what happened it will bring you closer. you will discover things about each other and revealing those things may be a relief to either/both spouses. or you can pretend it never happened and let the awkward thoughts push you apart.

                    in the end, what happens between you and your hubby is no one else's business (except the anonymous, non judging people you share with here). no need to feel embarrassed about what you two do together behind closed doors. to each their own.

                    Comment

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