[Claret]

I'm with BB on this. I always thought that sexual intimacy and the satisfaction derived from it, was an expression of love between partners. Based upon the last several posts in this forum, sexual satisfaction now appears now to be measured in length and girth. As for my feelings . . . you and your husband should have worked harder to find sexual satisfaction with each one another or not have gotten married.

Instead, it appears he has been the broker of your sexual affair for the price of a daily BJ. Don't YOU find this troubling?

This isn't a marriage it's a business contract.

[Claret]

Or maybe as defined by dictionaries it's
pros·ti·tu·tion
/ˌprästəˈt(y)o͞oSHən/
noun
noun: prostitution
the practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment.
or
the unworthy or corrupt use of one's talents for the sake of personal or financial gain.

As you said your husband has deep pockets. It's a business deal and it's benefitting both of you so really who is the loser here? I'd suggest it may be the young impressionable lad that now feels this is the way marriage is, or the way of life for those that manage to be financial successful.

[Motorguy]

Or maybe as defined by dictionaries it's
pros·ti·tu·tion
/ˌprästəˈt(y)o͞oSHən/
noun
noun: prostitution
the practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment.
or
the unworthy or corrupt use of one's talents for the sake of personal or financial gain.

As you said your husband has deep pockets. It's a business deal and it's benefitting both of you so really who is the loser here? I'd suggest it may be the young impressionable lad that now feels this is the way marriage is, or the way of life for those that manage to be financial successful.

Well Claret, all very good points you are making here. But they are not hurting anyone. She not cheating on her husband he wants her to enjoy sex with this young man. Just as long he is getting his oral sex from his wife. Plus she using her head they are well off in the money department so it's a win win situation for both of them as I see it.

[Baboy]

MG, although Claret does not need me to bolster her point, I think you missed it.

As I tried to make clear, I am not condemning anyone here. I said the type of arrangement described would be distinctly unappealing to me, but for the OP and her husband, if they both have their eyes open and are content, no one should tell them otherwise.

As I see it, Claret was taking essentially the same position as me, but adding a caveat about the third party - the young man involved. The underlying suggestion appears to be - and with some reason - that he is young and impressionable and his involvement might not best serve his interests.

You mention a "win win situation for both of them". But there are three involved. So it needs to be a "win win win" situation. Is it?

[Claret]

Absolutely correct on your take of what I was saying Baboy, I sometimes write just what I'm thinking without adding in clarifiers.

[Motorguy]

MG, although Claret does not need me to bolster her point, I think you missed it.

As I tried to make clear, I am not condemning anyone here. I said the type of arrangement described would be distinctly unappealing to me, but for the OP and her husband, if they both have their eyes open and are content, no one should tell them otherwise.

As I see it, Claret was taking essentially the same position as me, but adding a caveat about the third party - the young man involved. The underlying suggestion appears to be - and with some reason - that he is young and impressionable and his involvement might not best serve his interests.

You mention a "win win situation for both of them". But there are three involved. So it needs to be a "win win win" situation. Is it?

Yes I get Claret, point pretty well thank you. So yes the young lad is getting his rocks off as well if you can say that. But he's not cheating on anyone he's adult enjoying a sex with a married women with the husband blessing it maybe immoral to many others but there not cheating on each other. Now this young lad could be impressionable by this whole ordeal of what is going on with this situation here. But he is a adult and should know the different between right and wrong not saying it's going to work out that way. But this go's on way more then we all would image it does.

[effy2014]

Actually, MG, the OP was soliciting this kind of a response:

I would like to know how other people feel about the arrangement. Would like responses from both males and females.

My feelings about the arrangement would not change if it were a "win-win-win". Every part of it . . . from marrying for money while being disparaging about his "package" to giving BJ's for for a harem of studs . . . seems a bit off-putting. If it works for them, fantastic. But BB and Claret gave very fine reasons why it wouldn't work for them, which I also think apply to a win-win-win scenario.

[effy2014]

But this go's on way more then we all would image it does.

I sure hope not. I still imagine a world where people marry for love, learn from their mistakes and strive to do better next time.

[Motorguy]

I sure hope not. I still imagine a world where people marry for love, learn from their mistakes and strive to do better next time.

Well it really doesn't as you can see by the divorce rates we have in this country. Well I married for love and still love my wife and always will death do us apart is a pretty intense few words for me and my wife. What I am saying that many married couples have added another person to the sex life in there bedroom as it happens more then we think it does. Well as they always say you marry for love the first time the 2nd time for money. I don't believe that because it's only one marriage for me that's it.

[jilljames8184]

The young impressionable guy is an adult and understands the arrangement. He actually says he like the arrangement because when he wants sex he doesn't have to jump through all the hoops of trying to meet a girl and do all the stuff needed to get her in bed. Plus he feels safe with me because he knows I am STD free. According to him a lot of the young girls on campus so much that the chance of getting a STD is very high. He understands this is a very unique situation that kind of fell in his lap. And a situation where all involved are benefiting.