[jb6322]

I can't orgasm. No matter what me and my boyfriend do I cannot orgasm. We have read every artical .. Every advice collum... And have tried everything they have said to do . positions, oils, toys, motions, foreplay .. My clit has a weird feeling in it when you touch it wrong. I read that that's normal but makes things complicated because we are both each others first...
I used to be addicted to porn so Yea I know how to mastrabate and I can do it a lot but with him its different. I don't watch porn anymore and I don't mastrabate because he causes me pleasure.. Just not orgasm pleasure.
He has a 7.5" penis so it really does hit the spot but just not the spot that makes me scream.. I've tried doing stuff to myself during intercorse but it was just awkward to do because my hand started cramping up. Even he tried but it diddnt work.. Vibrators can work but don't usually because all I want to do is make love to him not a toy.
We kiss and hold eachother like you should while making out.. He even goes down on me . and might I say when he goes down on me it lasts for a really long time.. Last time was a hour and a half.. When he fingers me I feel pleasure with him hitting my g-spot and he has made me squirt but still no orgasm. Even the squirting diddnt feel good. It just happend..
Yesterday he orgasmed 5 times. Me.. Still on 0 .we are up for anything. I know its my problem.. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.. I have also been abused or used by Evey man in my life. Including my father but I still think that that doesn't effect if I can orgasm or not.. I love him dearly but I'm getting bored..just because I can't have an orgasm with him does not mean I will leave him. I love him to peices I just want to be able to enjoy sex like he does.. I have never faked a orgasm just saying. I have with my ex when he forced me into oral but after that nothing because I diddnt want my boyfriend to get false hope. Better to work on problems than cover them.. I do cut myself still but I'm trying to quit.. He makes me feel like I'm worth something .. I just don't want his hard work to go to waste.. Please help! Ask any questions and I will answer them..
P.s I was brought up as a christian and still am one.. I always told myself I was going to save it till marriage.. Untill I fell in love with my boyfriend now.. Maybe something about guilt is hurting me?
Anyone please..

[Motorguy]

I can't orgasm. No matter what me and my boyfriend do I cannot orgasm. We have read every artical .. Every advice collum... And have tried everything they have said to do . positions, oils, toys, motions, foreplay .. My clit has a weird feeling in it when you touch it wrong. I read that that's normal but makes things complicated because we are both each others first...
I used to be addicted to porn so Yea I know how to mastrabate and I can do it a lot but with him its different. I don't watch porn anymore and I don't mastrabate because he causes me pleasure.. Just not orgasm pleasure.
He has a 7.5" penis so it really does hit the spot but just not the spot that makes me scream.. I've tried doing stuff to myself during intercorse but it was just awkward to do because my hand started cramping up. Even he tried but it diddnt work.. Vibrators can work but don't usually because all I want to do is make love to him not a toy.
We kiss and hold eachother like you should while making out.. He even goes down on me . and might I say when he goes down on me it lasts for a really long time.. Last time was a hour and a half.. When he fingers me I feel pleasure with him hitting my g-spot and he has made me squirt but still no orgasm. Even the squirting diddnt feel good. It just happend..
Yesterday he orgasmed 5 times. Me.. Still on 0 .we are up for anything. I know its my problem.. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.. I have also been abused or used by Evey man in my life. Including my father but I still think that that doesn't effect if I can orgasm or not.. I love him dearly but I'm getting bored..just because I can't have an orgasm with him does not mean I will leave him. I love him to peices I just want to be able to enjoy sex like he does.. I have never faked a orgasm just saying. I have with my ex when he forced me into oral but after that nothing because I diddnt want my boyfriend to get false hope. Better to work on problems than cover them.. I do cut myself still but I'm trying to quit.. He makes me feel like I'm worth something .. I just don't want his hard work to go to waste.. Please help! Ask any questions and I will answer them..
P.s I was brought up as a christian and still am one.. I always told myself I was going to save it till marriage.. Untill I fell in love with my boyfriend now.. Maybe something about guilt is hurting me?
Anyone please..

The first thing I am glad you stop cutting your self that's not good. I think you having a very strong christian up bringing is weighting on your mind with sex before marriage you feel guilty. So you holding out not having a orgasm because of this you need to relax block this idea out of your mind or you going to drive yourself crazy with it. i could say go see a sex therapist see if they can help you with other idea's. I am going with you feeling guilty about sex before marriage was a no no while growing up JB. Well good luck I hope you finally get help and finally have that long awaited orgasm you need it bad I can tell.

[jen1447]

Did you used to orgasm from masturbation?

[atskitty2]

I'd like to know that answer too. I'd put my bets on the mental health issues of depression and past abuses, etc. Are you on meds?

[jb6322]

Yes I did used to orgasm all the time from mastrabation... Toys and hand..but while growing up mostly to porn because I was just so curious.... I still can orgasm now without porn easy.. But I just can't with him.. Moterguy I laughed so hard when I read the last thing you said. Thankyou for that.. Yes I feel like that is too.. Maybe but I just can't relax . its really hard..
No I am not on meds.. I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago... Do you guys know how to solve it if it is my mental health. . yes I do need a orgasm because all my friends always talk about it.. And then I'm sitting there not knowing what to say. Its really stupid. I still make love to him and I enjoy it. I just cannot get to that peak..
Thankyou everyone..

[Motorguy]

Yes I did used to orgasm all the time from mastrabation... Toys and hand..but while growing up mostly to porn because I was just so curious.... I still can orgasm now without porn easy.. But I just can't with him.. Moterguy I laughed so hard when I read the last thing you said. Thankyou for that.. Yes I feel like that is too.. Maybe but I just can't relax . its really hard..
No I am not on meds.. I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago... Do you guys know how to solve it if it is my mental health. . yes I do need a orgasm because all my friends always talk about it.. And then I'm sitting there not knowing what to say. Its really stupid. I still make love to him and I enjoy it. I just cannot get to that peak..
Thankyou everyone..

I glad i could make you laugh JB, at least I did that for you lol. Well i really think that is your problem you need to maybe take a good long bath relax maybe just no one around turn off phones and TV and no boy friend lay on the bed naked. You need to find your self sexually, With your favorite toy just explore your body and let your mind go. Think of some really fun sexual stuff you done and liked a lot and work with that. The brain is the biggest sex organ let it work for you it's just a mind block you are having. So try to work through it all your self no one else can do this for you so good luck with it all.

[effy2014]

One more question: How old are you?

The good news with your story is that the equipment works. You have been able to reach orgasm through masterbation.

The bad news is that the barrier is psychological and the "cures" may make it harder to orgasm in the short term. You have issues to work through that will probably not be easy. Since you have just been diagnosed, I assume that you have seen a therapist and are on the way (or have seen) a psychiatrist. Take the steps that they suggest to deal with the issues in your life . . . the lack of an orgasm is not a problem (in my opinion), it is a symptom. Depression meds will often lower your libido which, in your case may not be a bad thing. I will give you a breather to work through issues.

MG said it best -- the mind controls the entire process. Get on the road to recovery and great things will happen. Be patient.

[jb6322]

Motor guy. I can orgasm very very VERY well alone. I just can't with him.. Its like my clit just shuts off.. And I just cant.. When we have sex yes it can feel very good just not orgasm good.. I can't finish... We end up having sex for a very very very long time before I just give up and let him finish.. He is very patient ..
I am a teenager . 16+ I just don't want to say how old exactly. and he's 18
My mother tells me that the sex before marriage isn't that bad. She just wants me on birth control... She doesn't want another granddaughter from her youngest.. My dad would go syco if he found out tho.. She is legitimately the best mother ever. She even took me to the stagshop.. And gets me everything I need.. Its great that we are so close. I've asked her about this but she just couldn't comprehend why I couldn't finish..

[jb6322]

I don't have a theripist just a councilor. My parents don't really understand how much I really need it.. No medication.. No bad things in my medical history. Happy and healthy past..other than ythe things I already told you happened..I tried relaxing today and It helped a bit tbh he hit a very good spot when I did..

[Claret]

You have several things going on and they should all be addressed by a professional. The first issue as I see it, is your abuse by your father. Until and unless you resolve issues around this abuse - you can be in for a very rocky road. This abuse leads to the second of your problems (IMO) which is the pornography. It sounds like you were exposed to this at an early age and this leads to the third major problem, as I see it. Masturbation. You can orgasm very well on your own because there is no guilt, no second person, no thoughts of being abused and you are free to be yourself.

You now have a boyfriend and all the un-resolved issues may be keeping you from achieving that level of intimacy with him. Yes it feels good, yes you want it to go further, but something is holding you back. You may have to resolve these issues in order to let go of them.

If you are seeing a therapist, what time of therapist is it? What issues are you working one? Have you brought up this problem with your therapist and what have they told you so far?

Sorry, just re-read your post and you have a counsellor not a therapist but the same questions apply.