[Stillness]

As far as the cuckold part of the relationship its like anything else. If both are secure and can handle it then what's the problem? It seems more people are shocked by the cuckold lifestyle than the swinger lifestyle. What's the difference?

Cuckolding seems more degrading. I think that both are bad, though. They both take something that can make for a spiritual bond between man and woman and make it animal. It prevents them from becoming what they can, in my opinion.

[jilljames8184]

I have a regular boyfriend along with my husband. Sometimes my husband will participate and sometimes he only watches. It is never degrading like a cuckold session.

[Motorguy]

Well Jill, it's only degrading if you allow it to be. Like having the other guy or guys calling you dirty names or abuse with physical harm that can be hurtful. Then it's more being a mess up game in my book and that's not fun by any means.

[Elena_EvilEye]

Well Elena, you have a marriage that many married couple wish they had like me and Donna, have as well. I wouldn't change anything at all for any other relationship out there having way to much in this marriage with Donna.

I hear in some marriages the sex life can become mundane and there can be long periods where there is no intimacy. I'm glad that's not the case with me it is exactly the opposite and it keeps things exciting.

[effy2014]

I hear in some marriages the sex life can become mundane and there can be long periods where there is no intimacy. I'm glad that's not the case with me it is exactly the opposite and it keeps things exciting.

Keep open lines of communication on all of the issues in your marriage and, except for medical issues, there should not be any interruption in your sex life. Intimacy is a reflection of your relationship . . . while I am sure there are exceptions, people do not generally stop having sex because it has become mundane. People stop having sex because love, trust, appreciation or respect have been lost. Resolve problems as soon as possible after they arise and intimate love will remain strong.

[LilahX]

It most certainly can work in the right relationship. My man loves watching me with another man, or knowing I'm out with someone having a sexy time. He will text me to say he hopes I'm being shown a good time and loves hearing about it when I get home. It does take a special man to be like this, but I know many couples who enjoy this in their relationships. I know it's hard for 'non believers' to understand, but it brings your own intimacy together to such a higher level.

[effy2014]

It most certainly can work in the right relationship. My man loves watching me with another man, or knowing I'm out with someone having a sexy time. He will text me to say he hopes I'm being shown a good time and loves hearing about it when I get home. It does take a special man to be like this, but I know many couples who enjoy this in their relationships. I know it's hard for 'non believers' to understand, but it brings your own intimacy together to such a higher level.

As a "non-believer", it truly is very difficult for me to understand how having sex outside of a loving relationship can do anything but destroy it. I cannot separate intimacy with the emotional and spiritual connection that comes along with it. I would rather spend my time thinking about additional ways to please my SO than listen to stories of how other men can do that. I concede that I am incapable of compartmentalizing my feelings in that way. As they say, to each his/her own.

[Motorguy]

I hear in some marriages the sex life can become mundane and there can be long periods where there is no intimacy. I'm glad that's not the case with me it is exactly the opposite and it keeps things exciting.

Oh how true words written by you here Elena, without sex with me and Donna, I think we both rather be dead. How can people function in life without having sex with your SO other it boggle my mind.

[LilahX]

We're all different Effy. We value our intimacy and love and it is strong - but it is not compromised by having others in our bed, or elsewehere. FOr us, it brings us closer. We respect each other and what we have together, we're lucky enough to have the same values - not necessarily those of others, but we don't hurt anyone and we're not going behind each others backs. As I originally said, it's not for everyone, or even the majority as it takes a lot of work and a strong, honest relationship,.

[Stillness]

As a "non-believer", it truly is very difficult for me to understand how having sex outside of a loving relationship can do anything but destroy it.

Maybe has to do with how you define "relationship" or your expectations? Maybe it's about trade-offs too.

I could understand a certain excitement and the pleasure of variety that may come from polyamory. You and I aren't willing to trade the pleasures and benefits of monogamy for them, though. Others might value the former more highly. Or they simply may not know about the latter. They probably also "move the goalpost" on intimacy to the non-sexual or on how far they will go sexually. Sex itself is not necessarily solely a part of a committed relationship for them anymore than having a meal with someone is for you and I.