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  • Baboy
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2012
    • 774

    Sounds to me owel that you are an attentive, caring lover and you and your wife have good communication, so I would think it unlikely that your wife will be feeling sexual boredom anytime soon. Has she ever suggested - or hinted at - a threesome?

    My wife and I have never discussed such a thing as having anyone else involved in our sex life. I think I know her well enough to know that she would be offended and disappointed if I ever suggested such a thing. She would take it as a message that I was not content with what we had together. I know that's how I would take it if she were to broach the topic. Definitely not into open marriage. I'll not purport to speak for effy, but I'll be surprised if he sees anything positive in an open marriage.
    I do not grow old; if I stop growing, I am old.

    Comment

    • owel1reuel
      Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 38

      Originally posted by Baboy
      Has she ever suggested - or hinted at - a threesome?
      No, she didn't, but I tried several times. She said she doesn't want it. But I know my wife very well, though I can't read want she's thinking, there's a possibility that she would agree. She just mentioned the fears of having open marriage. Even if I said "if you don't want me to participate, I won't,I just think about you". That's an honest from me. We grew up in a Christian life. She's still holding on to that. She said I don't respect her if I let a man involve with our sexual relationship. I mean, I respect her a lot. I just want this for her. There's some reasons that I can't open right now why this matter came to my mind. Maybe I will in the right time. I'm just thinking about sharing it or not. History. I guess I don't have to insist this for now though I can feel some time she will agree with me.

      Comment

      • effy2014
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2014
        • 1777

        Originally posted by owel1reuel
        No, she didn't, but I tried several times. She said she doesn't want it. But I know my wife very well, though I can't read want she's thinking, there's a possibility that she would agree. She just mentioned the fears of having open marriage. Even if I said "if you don't want me to participate, I won't,I just think about you". That's an honest from me. We grew up in a Christian life. She's still holding on to that. She said I don't respect her if I let a man involve with our sexual relationship. I mean, I respect her a lot. I just want this for her.
        You are correct that I am not into nor do I want an "open" relationship. As Baboy wrote, I can't see the benefit of another man touching my SO. My SO would react just like your wife reacted (and how BB knows his wife would react) . . . that it is the ultimate in disrespect. I believe our intimacy is special and based upon a deep emotional connection.

        My question to you is . . . if your motivation is her pleasure and she feels that the mention of a threesome is disrespectful, why would you mention it again? Why do you want to change her mind? You posts indicate that you are a very respectful and giving lover . . . do you really believe your wife needs more for her happiness?

        Be careful that this is not your fantasy imposed upon her. The impact on your wonderful relationship could be devistating.
        "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

        Comment

        • owel1reuel
          Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 38

          Originally posted by Baboy
          I think I know her well enough to know that she would be offended and disappointed if I ever suggested such a thing. She would take it as a message that I was not content with what we had together. I know that's how I would take it if she were to broach the topic. Definitely not into open marriage. I'll not purport to speak for effy, but I'll be surprised if he sees anything positive in an open marriage.
          This is tough. Thank you Baboy.

          Comment

          • owel1reuel
            Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 38

            Originally posted by effy2014

            My question to you is . . . if your motivation is her pleasure and she feels that the mention of a threesome is disrespectful, why would you mention it again? Why do you want to change her mind? You posts indicate that you are a very respectful and giving lover . . . do you really believe your wife needs more for her happiness?

            Be careful that this is not your fantasy imposed upon her. The impact on your wonderful relationship could be devistating.
            Okay, here it is. The reason why I insisted this three times for an intervals of weeks is that because before, she had an affair. We separated for 4 mos or five. She did have 2 man involved within those months. Casually. We decided to work things out and in fact she made the first move even though I kept on texting her that I still love her. Long story. . .So I thought it would be easier to bring this topic to her thinking about her pleasure. She was sincere when she told me that we can bring back our good marriage and make it better.

            Now, whenever I tried to open that OPEN MARRIAGE. She said to me " we can spice things up" she even said that if I want to use a toy to her she's fine but not involving a man into the bed. She even said that she wants to really show that she's doing her best to gain my full trust again that she's not gonna do it again. She's doing it for a change, for our kids then why should I bring this topic to her. I felt that she really loves me. So I think it was not right bringing up this thing to her.

            Comment

            • Baboy
              Veteran Member
              • Aug 2012
              • 774

              Thanks owel. That added information certainly provides some new perspective. How long ago was the affair?

              It does not seem to me that the primary advice you have been receiving here needs to change much. It sounds like your wife wants to make things work with you, and only you. If I were in your place, I'd be happy with that. In fact, I would consider no other option. If I thought my wife would require others to be involved in our sex life, that would be a deal breaker for me. I am not interested in "sharing" her and I would not be thrilled if she said she'd be content "sharing" me.

              You have suggested that you might consider some kind of open marriage or involvement of others, to please her. What are your own true wishes? Are you interested in such things for your own sake, or only to keep her on board?
              I do not grow old; if I stop growing, I am old.

              Comment

              • owel1reuel
                Member
                • Jul 2014
                • 38

                Originally posted by Baboy
                How long ago was the affair?

                It sounds like your wife wants to make things work with you, and only you. If I were in your place, I'd be happy with that. In fact, I would consider no other option. If I thought my wife would require others to be involved in our sex life, that would be a deal breaker for me.

                You have suggested that you might consider some kind of open marriage or involvement of others, to please her. What are your own true wishes? Are you interested in such things for your own sake, or only to keep her on board?
                That was 4 years ago. Yes, I was happy when heard that word from her. Honestly, I just tried to open that to her just for her. It's some kind of testing which was wrong move. I know she enjoys everything with me during sex. I can see that. I don't know the main reason for sure. But the best answer for me to tell is TEST.

                Comment

                • bubba29
                  Senior Member
                  • Feb 2013
                  • 116

                  Originally posted by owel1reuel
                  Hi there!

                  This is my first time posting concern since I've read lot of threads about this. I just need tips (if any).Thanks in advance

                  I was glad when I shared this to with my wife that every woman has the ability to squirt. I searched about it, we've just learnt about it 2 mos ago. We experimented, she participated,fortunately because she also wants to squirt for me. I found her G-spot using my fingers. That day we had the best sex ever. She's always willing squirt for me, and I am extremely turn on everytime she does it.

                  Here's my problem: She can't squirt unless I use my fingers to stimulate her G-spot. Before she used to pee just ONCE when we have sex on a monoblock chair and while she's sitting in a V position. But she used to pee once. THAT WAS BEFORE until we learnt to do it. I am currently in 6inches. I don't know if it has something to do with the girth. We tried different positions as much as we can think of. ALL the positions possible but still I can't make her squirt using just my penis. I really want to. I feel like my size is not good enough for her to do it. But after several strokes I switch to using my fingers and it DOES WORK! Then switch again. Every now and then she squirts but always using my fingers. So my question is. Am I too small for her? Am I not stroking her G-Spot during sex? She also really wants to squirt on me while I penetrate hers. What should I do? what positions can we try, but then again we tried every possible position. I need tips please. Thank you again!
                  i would like to get this back on to squirting. when you use your fingers, does she squirt with her fingers in or do you have to pull them out before she squirts? have you ever tried fingering her then putting your **** in to finish her off?

                  Comment

                  • owel1reuel
                    Member
                    • Jul 2014
                    • 38

                    Originally posted by bubba29
                    i would like to get this back on to squirting. when you use your fingers, does she squirt with her fingers in or do you have to pull them out before she squirts? have you ever tried fingering her then putting your **************** in to finish her off?
                    I have to pull my fingers out of her so she can release it. Then immediately I stroke her clitoris to add feelings. Yes I tried it.

                    Comment

                    • bubba29
                      Senior Member
                      • Feb 2013
                      • 116

                      Originally posted by owel1reuel
                      I have to pull my fingers out of her so she can release it. Then immediately I stroke her clitoris to add feelings. Yes I tried it.
                      most women need everything out of their vagina right before they squirt. when your ******** is in her does she ever get the feeling similar to when you finger her? i wonder if you just need to pull out when she tells you to.

                      Comment

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