[DreamP346]

You want to even the score. The average number of sexual partners for men in the US is 6. Seems you are already half way there.

To even the score, your wife needs to go have two illicit affairs with random men.

And the idea of missing out on sleeping around in college is more of a myth perpetuated by media than reality (there is research to back this up if you don't believe me). You probably got way more sex than your college buddy just because you were in a relationship that whole time. Again, another fact backed up by research - married men have more sex than single men. So, if you want to even things out, you need to have less sex, lots of less sex. Meaningless sex that usually isn't that great with risk of pregnancy and STIs. Also, you need to face constant rejection because you need to approach many people until one agrees to have sex with you. You will probably have to spend money and time courting these women to get sex. With each new woman, you will need to negotiate sexual boundaries, desires, what works for each of you, etc. You probably will bump into at least one crazy obsessive woman who will make your life miserable for a while. And trust me, that is very much a reality. Ask anybody who's dating a lot. They will tell you stories about crazy dates.

Hmm, still think you missed out?

[KMonte85]

IMO, you're not weird, but you're also not thinking clearly.

You have a great woman in your life and a great sex life, from what you've described. And you seem to be looking for approval to cheat so you can "even the score" of people you've slept with. It doesn't even seem like you're necessarily attracted to other women, you just don't want to have lived life only sleeping with ONE woman... that woman being the sexy lady you love so much you married her and have chosen to be with since your teen years.

Don't throw it all away to add a tally to some arbitrary sex-score. Realize what you have, and appreciate it.

[effy2014]

What Stillness and Effy say, except maybe not the talking to her about it part. How do you think she will handle it? Are you opening a door that you will never be able to close? Willing to lose someone you love unconditionally and that you have a through the roof sex life with and someone who chose and loves you?

Willing to risk everything?

I couldn't agree with you more HOWheels. Big Red, unless you are certain how she will handle a conversation in which you say "I would like to sleep around because I feel deprived" why would you say anything. As Stillness writes, you have a great life. I can't imagine how sleeping around improves it given the huge risk.

[BigRed]

I appreciate all the feedback. This thread was more of a confirmation to myself that I am doing the right thing. I have not cheated since we have been married (2 years) and do not plan on it. Thanks for all the reassurance and help. This forum is awesome, think I'll be sticking around.

[ecotime47]

I appreciate all the feedback. This thread was more of a confirmation to myself that I am doing the right thing. I have not cheated since we have been married (2 years) and do not plan on it. Thanks for all the reassurance and help. This forum is awesome, think I'll be sticking around.

I am so glad to hear you say that! Good luck!

[Magnetism]

I'd recommend talking to your wife about your feelings. No matter how many partners she's had, she chose you. If your sex life is "through the roof" after 10 years, it means that she chose you because she's crazy about you.

Sex with random women, or even women you like, is not close to sex with the woman you're married to and love. That's my opinion. And I've had both.

I think that a lot of this feeling comes from certain aspects of our culture making promiscuity and "scoring" out to be exciting and manly. They're not. I think that finding a good woman and treating her well is the height of masculinity.

As a woman, I don't find a promiscuous man to be manly at all. In fact, I have secretly felt annoyed at men and women bragging about how many people they've been with...and thinking that it makes them better lovers in bed. It doesn't.

[bubba29]

I believe part of me is jealous that she had so many partners before we were together regardless of the fact that it was so long ago and part of me will always want to "even the score."

first off, your feelings of wanting to have sex with other women is completely natural.

as for evening the score, you need to get rid of those feelings. it's not her fault. she had her fun before you got together and you cannot think of it as a contest or something that needs to be equitable.

considering how young you 2 became monogamous, you may want to consider swinging. you've been together long enough that you should be able to have an open and honest conversation about this. people who swing believe that sex is something that is fun and can be had outside the constraints of love.

[PhrendlyPhil]

BigRed: You desire other women? I would say if you didn't desire other women, your wife should immediately rush you to the hospital. You should always be sexually exited by other women, it is a sign that you are alive. If you are blessed you should have those desires to a ripe old age. But having a desire/craving and acting on it are two different things. Be loyal to your wife and focus all those "desires" on her. It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, so long as you go home to eat!

[Motorguy]

Well Big Red i am going to say you thinking with the wrong head man. What in gods name your wife sex acts before you was married to her have to do with it now. Let me see nothing at all period so put this nonsense a side and be a good husband and father if you have kids. I thinking if you tell your wife you cheated 2 times you are cooked in this marriage. Because in my mind this has to be the most stupid reason on why you did this because your younger years you didn't have many sex partner really and who fault was that. So you cheat on your wife to make up for it now I heard it all now Jesus. That's like saying a car thief steals a car and he tells the cops, because I always wanted to drive and own one of these really nice cars yea right. I say forget your extra affairs and be with your wife only.Then stand by her and love her if not be prepare to lose her and everything else. Because you was thinking with the wrong head man just a thought.