[Stillness]

Testosterone levels are highest in the morning.

[LilahX]

How is the intimacy factor in your relationship? Does he cuddle you, do you share quiet conversations in bed, hold hands, show affection? If you have all this, are you able to see that sex isn't everything? Do you get enough from him emotionally, mentally & spiritually to be ok with having to cmpromise on the physical level?

A radical thought (that does work for some) - if your r/ship is strong and has trust, would he be ok with you having 'a bit on the side' if it didn't threaten what you have together? If your desires are strong there is always the risk that you may, in the future, feel the need to fulfil them and it's way better if it's something you can do honestly. Personally my belief is that if one partner genuinely doesn't want sex anymore, they really don't have a right to expect their partner to go without - but I doubt many would agree with me.

[ladyautumn]

How is the intimacy factor in your relationship? Does he cuddle you, do you share quiet conversations in bed, hold hands, show affection? If you have all this, are you able to see that sex isn't everything? Do you get enough from him emotionally, mentally & spiritually to be ok with having to cmpromise on the physical level?

A radical thought (that does work for some) - if your r/ship is strong and has trust, would he be ok with you having 'a bit on the side' if it didn't threaten what you have together? If your desires are strong there is always the risk that you may, in the future, feel the need to fulfil them and it's way better if it's something you can do honestly. Personally my belief is that if one partner genuinely doesn't want sex anymore, they really don't have a right to expect their partner to go without - but I doubt many would agree with me.

There isn't a lot of physical anything. When I ask for a hug, I get it. Once in awhile, he'll invite me to move next to him in bed and cuddle behind him (that doesn't lead to sex, nor do I expect it to). We don't have quiet conversations in bed, seldom hold hands, rarely touch at all. You're right, sex isn't everything. His love language and mine are completely opposite. He shows love to me in ways that are kind of a foreign language to me, but I still recognize that's what he's doing.

"Getting a bit on the side" is absolutely not something I'm willing to do. I love THIS man, and I don't want anyone else touching me.

[Motorguy]

Well maybe doing some self masturbation is in order. For you to take that edge off when husband is only into having sex 3 times a month. You love him and you don't want to leave him as you trust and respect him that's all good then. He sounds like a great husband,the only other thing is does he have a problem with the prostate and not able to get erection or is it he just not into having sex like you would like it to be.

[ladyautumn]

does he have a problem with the prostate and not able to get erection or is it he just not into having sex like you would like it to be.

No. There's no problem with his prostate or testosterone level. He's able to get and maintain an erection with no trouble. I feel it may be more due to some depression. He's begun taking Wellbutrin (which I've read has helped sex drive in a lot of people). He's only be on it at half-dose for about a week, and he'll be doubling it in another week. Hoping that it helps

In the meantime, I'm working on keeping a positive attitude. It may not get me laid, but it makes the rest of our interactions much more pleasant.

[Motorguy]

No. There's no problem with his prostate or testosterone level. He's able to get and maintain an erection with no trouble. I feel it may be more due to some depression. He's begun taking Wellbutrin (which I've read has helped sex drive in a lot of people). He's only be on it at half-dose for about a week, and he'll be doubling it in another week. Hoping that it helps

In the meantime, I'm working on keeping a positive attitude. It may not get me laid, but it makes the rest of our interactions much more pleasant.

Oh OK good all the plumbing is working good then. You are correct some depression medication can cause issue with men erection. I glad to read you are standing by your husband, with love and positive attitude that's all good in time and that your sex life will get back to the point you will enjoy yourself again with him.

[Hell on Wheels]

"Getting a bit on the side" is absolutely not something I'm willing to do. I love THIS man, and I don't want anyone else touching me.[/QUOTE]

He needs to see this, to understand this.