[C]

I was not going to respond to this seeing it is a younger people's thread but here I go:

We get a lot of traffic on this forum from young people who are confused about sex. Often, they simply state their ages, but sometimes they leave that information out.
They get asked, though. Maybe there was a problem with their grammar, or a lack of prior knowledge that one could only attribute to youth.
The question is: does it matter?
Obviously, it matters and speaks volumes that "children" are becoming sexual earlier. But what implies childhood? According to ABC news, the average age of the first period in 1830 was 17. Now it's 13. What does that bode?

On this I would say ABC News is all wet. My daughter's period was between 12 and 13 and that was 35 years ago. I got mine in 6th grade. Remember it well.....

Younger girls are dealing with more adult hormones sooner.

No, they are dealing with more open sex sooner. What used to be kept sacred is now flaunted. Sex is a game and not what two people do when they are in love.

I had the unique position in high school to be a role model for younger girls. My senior year, I was in charge of my NJROTC unit, which had coincidentally attracted a larger group of female cadets than usual as first-years. As someone from a less than enjoyable family background, less than stable mental constitution, and downright below-par physical abilities, I was someone they could relate to as well as confide in.
I had cadets who did drugs, needed anti-depressants, drank heavily, had casual sex, depended on men for their self-esteem, self-harmed, ... the list goes on. All of them were around the age of 14.

This kind of fits what I went through only this child had one of the best homes around. Given the world but as sneaky and wise to the world as a child could be. Just about everything you say, I can say, been there and done that.

I notably had one girl pull me aside one morning and show me her cut wrists. As a recovering self-harmer, it scared the daylights out of me.
The thing is, these were all bright individuals, full of life and with plenty of potential. They all knew they were making choices that weren't quite stellar. And they definitely weren't, and aren't alone. Their stories and choices were quite common with their peer group.

Again been there and done that. That is not all, they brag about it. You beg them to keep it secret and they brag. Parents can do nothing.

I could have told them, "don't do that." I could have told them all day, tired out my lungs from it. Not even their parents could control their behavior (if they'd even learned about it,) so how was I supposed to?
Instead, I chose to educate them. Seventeen magazine, a mother with mental problems, and a slew of my own problems had left me with enough hard-earned knowledge to share.

But how many of you were there around.....They listen to know one but their peers.

Maybe it sounds funny, but they responded really quite well to my information. Could be because they were happy to have someone who wasn't on their case.

No, they responded to you because you were someone born in their same era. Parents are all ****** up and don't know anything. We were always there to help but only later did we hear, I should have listened. We were cool parents. But oh, are kids smart....Again been there and done that.

The point is that human beings, young, old, male, or female, are pretty stubborn creatures, and they're fascinated by the taboo. If you tell someone not to do something, it may very well make them more likely to do it, and do it without the defense of information.

The young will do it because they are young and being guided by other young people with the same attitude. It is their choice what they do. Be it drugs, sex, stealing, lying and the list goes on and on. I was hot looking and could have ****** many men. BUT I also thought I was something special and saved it for one man. No difference in times, difference in morals...But darn, I just forgot I was one of the old folker's that don't know diddly ****.

Don't withhold your valuable knowledge. Not from yourself, and not from others.

That is why I speak to women. I hold back nothing. I speak to older women on the wonderful ways of sexual love that they have forgotten. This sexual adventure is starting for them so early in life and more than anything I think many women in the future will suffer. They will be sick of sex. They are way too young and are doing these sexual things without the benefit of erotic hot love and what is beautiful will become a chore. Then their marriages like so many nowadays will go down the drain because they just plain did not find the wonderful rapture of true sexual love...... This is no rebut, just a fact of life.....

(Please feel free to expound and rebut as you wish. This isn't my soapbox; I'd like to hear other opinions as always.)

[Fallen1]

Obviously, it matters and speaks volumes that "children" are becoming sexual earlier. But what implies childhood? According to ABC news, the average age of the first period in 1830 was 17. Now it's 13. What does that bode?

On this I would say ABC News is all wet. My daughter's period was between 12 and 13 and that was 35 years ago. I got mine in 6th grade. Remember it well.....

I myself remember being considered late starting. I didn't start until I was 13/14 when some girls my age had started in the 4th grade. My mother was beginning to panic - that was in 1980 so I don't think it's really changed that much, at least the years I can vouch for.

Younger girls are dealing with more adult hormones sooner.

No, they are dealing with more open sex sooner. What used to be kept sacred is now flaunted. Sex is a game and not what two people do when they are in love.

I agree with this. Young people are being bombarded with it from all angles - tv, music, internet, magazines. Is it any wonder they are interested and/or participating in these things? We can't "blame" them for just wanting to be a part of what they see, we can just hope they have all the correct information and make wise choices.

[Little]

It's not a "younger people's thread." It's a thread for the benefit of younger people. Just like this isn't a younger people's forum. It's a forum for the benefit of the subject of women's health.
Sexuality in the open isn't new. Twenty years before I was born, a generation ago, the ideas of free love were rampant. It's not a "kids these days" issue. My generation didn't invent drugs, theft, or lying. We didn't invent loveless sex. They call prostitution "the oldest profession" for a reason.
The young adult who "brags" about their problems are calling out for help. They're prettymuch begging for the validation that their actions are incorrect in some way.
Caroline, I see such anti-youth in your opinions. People are stubborn, people make mistakes "because they can." People have attitudes. Young and old make the choice. How about those older men who make the choice to cheat on their wives with some "young thing" and end up alone? That sounds like a stubborn, "because I can" kind of decision to me.
Sure, "kids are smart." Your IQ stays the same your whole life through. But you can be as smart as you want without the information to make the correct choices, and lots of young adults aren't finding that information; they don't know where to start looking.
The young aren't beasts suffering from the disease of hubris. Sure, we feel invincible ... until you experience death near you, what else are you supposed to feel? Some of us are forced to learn caution the hard way, but the others can be helped by learning from the mistakes of others.

[C]

Little: No way was I challenging what you said on my post. It is just so frustrating thinking back to the hell a parent has to go through in life and can't change what they never could have changed. I have thought of this so often and wondered if home schooling would have helped but that is hindsight. Then I see what is happening now and it gets me sick because I know what other parents are going through. As dear to my heart as helping women is, the hurt of a child growing up and not knowing right from wrong is worse.

We at this site do not know the ages of people who write us. So many could be 13 or 14 year old children. A boy may be writing us pretending to be a girl. We live on faith. That is not the creed of a teenager.

This sexual issue to me is more than disturbing. When kids go to a party and pair off to give each other oral sex, this has reached a new low. These are 7th and 8th graders and not even going together. But what to do.

I question if a woman is giving out all these sexual favors, where is her self respect? I will admit I got pretty pompous above and say I held out for one man, but I did. I was afraid that if I gave it to him that he would not marry me. I was afraid that I would be just like all of the other girls that had given him their bodies and would not be special. So I held out and was a virgin. He tells me now that he would have married me anyway but I still wonder. Maybe it is the fuddy duddy in me that worries. Sometimes it is not easy being this age.

If I sounded harsh, please forgive. I was reaching back in time and those were not good days. For all parents out there that have been to hell with me, I give you my deepest sympathy. There is not one thing that you could have done either....Peace and love to all of you...

It's not a "younger people's thread." It's a thread for the benefit of younger people. Just like this isn't a younger people's forum. It's a forum for the benefit of the subject of women's health.
Sexuality in the open isn't new. Twenty years before I was born, a generation ago, the ideas of free love were rampant. It's not a "kids these days" issue. My generation didn't invent drugs, theft, or lying. We didn't invent loveless sex. They call prostitution "the oldest profession" for a reason.
The young adult who "brags" about their problems are calling out for help. They're prettymuch begging for the validation that their actions are incorrect in some way.
Caroline, I see such anti-youth in your opinions. People are stubborn, people make mistakes "because they can." People have attitudes. Young and old make the choice. How about those older men who make the choice to cheat on their wives with some "young thing" and end up alone? That sounds like a stubborn, "because I can" kind of decision to me.
Sure, "kids are smart." Your IQ stays the same your whole life through. But you can be as smart as you want without the information to make the correct choices, and lots of young adults aren't finding that information; they don't know where to start looking.
The young aren't beasts suffering from the disease of hubris. Sure, we feel invincible ... until you experience death near you, what else are you supposed to feel? Some of us are forced to learn caution the hard way, but the others can be helped by learning from the mistakes of others.

I never really thought of it as anti-youth.......Wow, that is heavy....Maybe some envy.....I like this age....or maybe I don't......I am madly in love with a man who takes me to heaven but maybe part of me would have loved to have been in a gang bang or smoked some pot and had some free love. That is my wild side....To be truthful, it is a good thing that I was not born during your time because this cat would have strayed.....

I will watch the anti-youth bit...Maybe the old broad was jealous after all....Take care, Caroline.....

[Little]

Don't be jealous; you've got what we all want: That one person who will stick by and love you.
I cross my fingers that my Soldier is that man.
I never did anything like "save" my virginity. I didn't give it away, though. I managed to keep it around for my fiancé, who apparently would rather have been my ex-fiancé.
Oh, and the rampage of young people becoming affianced (I would like to thank the Lion King for my vocabulary) is overwhelming! Facebook helps me track it ... engagements get broken all the time. And why? That one really gets me. I've got an ex-fiancé, and I ask myself over and over why I thought I was ready for husband. I wasn't. Neither, apparently, are my peers who are giving back rings. Can someone help me out on this one?

[Still Nobody]

I am a parent of two boys. One who will be 23 this year and one that will be 16. I think that if you ask both of them I have never demonstrated such with either of them .... but then again I've been told I'm not your average mom. I told both my children they can come to me with anything and I mean it. I've listened to them and gave them my opinion, what they do with that opinion is their decision in the end, I can't force them to be something they aren't. Of course if it's something that is destructive/harmful etc. that's a different story.

Wow, I think I envy your kids.
When I was growing up, I had a friend that lived four houses down from me, and you sound like you give your kids the same kind of support that his mom gave him. I was constantly amazed at how he was able to talk with his mom about, well -- everything!

I think your kids are lucky to have you.

[Still Nobody]

Sexuality in the open isn't new. Twenty years before I was born, a generation ago, the ideas of free love were rampant. It's not a "kids these days" issue. My generation didn't invent drugs, theft, or lying. We didn't invent loveless sex. They call prostitution "the oldest profession" for a reason.

I agree.
Little, I think I was in junior high when you were born. It seems like all of the stuff teens are doing these days, we were doing back then, too. It just depended on who you were and who you hung out with, I think.
It seems there will always be teens who give it away and sleep around, and there will always be teens that save themselves for the right person.
I don't see a big change between then and now, other than the fact that the 24 hour news networks are ready to report about "sex crazed teens" on a slow news day.

[Fallen1]

I agree with this. Young people are being bombarded with it from all angles - tv, music, internet, magazines. Is it any wonder they are interested and/or participating in these things? We can't "blame" them for just wanting to be a part of what they see, we can just hope they have all the correct information and make wise choices.

Sexuality in the open isn't new. Twenty years before I was born, a generation ago, the ideas of free love were rampant.

Little, what you are saying is true but to expand on my above comment -

What I was trying to say as far as it being more out into the open is that it seems to be "pushed" so much on the younger people, well everyone these days. When I was growing up you didn't see all of the nudity/sex you see today in movies and sometimes just on cable tv. It was a rarity, now it almost seems like it's a requirement.

Several weeks ago my son, his wife, my boyfriend and I were out to supper and the topic of movies came up. We were discussing older 80's films that they had seen. There were several of them that came up that I had not seen until recent years and they were surprised. One of them being Top Gun. They couldn't believe it was a R rated movie. Back when I was growing up a movie that just a handful of cuss words in it was rated R. Granted this movie had a small bedroom scene but for the most part things were left to your imagination. These days the same rated R's have countless cuss words and more explicit sex scenes.

Magazines are loaded up with sex, it didn't used to be that way. As you go through the check out lines at the grocery stores and Walmart it stares you in the face. Models on the front cover barely clothed and also the article topics are listed where younger children can read such as sexual positions, bedroom tips, how to have a better orgasm etc.

The music .... well it's changed quite a bit.

Sometimes I wonder where our youth has gone. It seems now a days there's no such thing as being a kid. It's almost like they go from toddlers to adults. It really upsets me to see that kids can't be just kids these days.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Woah!! I take SUCH offense to that comment! My daughter is a toddler, but I hope NEVER to elicit that comment from her.

No offence meant, it's just the way that I feel.

Our job is to steer them in the right direction and to do the right thing by them, which entails punishing them, having rules, monitoring friendships, emails, putting GPS on cell phones.

I know you have good intentions, but you lost all chances of me as a your child trusting you with the above sentance. I mean monitoring emails? How can you possibly expect love and respect and friendship from your child if you spy on them?

In fact, on another forum, I remember someone asking for a keylogger to spy on his kid, read her emails and stuff. He got told to **** right off.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

maybe part of me would have loved to have been in a gang bang or smoked some pot and had some free love.

Well, it's not too late for smoking some pot anyway, just go to a doctor and say you've got arthritus or something, and that you want some medical marijuana. It makes sex better, no kidding. Although not astronomically so - ecstacy is good too ...

<_<