[Magnetism]

You are not that tricky and most women do not enjoy a frontal assault. That is just bad technique, usually from a man who just wants to get the foreplay over with as soon as possible. Cunilingus is best done slowly, with love and affection, savoring the taste and scent.

It's not just cunninlingus, but with fingering too. I've met quite a number of women that say that they don't need foreplay, and don't like it.


Do any of you guys find it a turn off when a woman tries to explain to you her preferences? I've found that explaining what I want doesn't work too well, because a guy can get threatened. The partners that are the best with fingering and cunnilingus are the ones that I didn't have to explain anything.

[effy2014]

Do any of you guys find it a turn off when a woman tries to explain to you her preferences? I've found that explaining what I want doesn't work too well, because a guy can get threatened. The partners that are the best with fingering and cunnilingus are the ones that I didn't have to explain anything.

Open communication is essential and should go both ways. The entire point is mutual pleasure. Men should not be threatened by sexual expression. However, there are certainly issues of sexual incompatibility. For example, I would not be able to have a successful relationship with a woman who did not enjoy foreplay or cunilingus. Those intimate acts are too important to me to live without because they bing me satisfaction and fulfillment.

[Magnetism]

Open communication is essential and should go both ways. The entire point is mutual pleasure. Men should not be threatened by sexual expression. However, there are certainly issues of sexual incompatibility. For example, I would not be able to have a successful relationship with a woman who did not enjoy foreplay or cunilingus. Those intimate acts are too important to me to live without because they bing me satisfaction and fulfillment.

Incompatibility is probably it, because I value:

1) Romance
2) Caresses
3) Kisses
4) Licking
5) Cuddling after sex
6) Warm eye contact during sex

The past partner that had some difficulty carrying out what I wanted was someone that didn't like the above. I guess that's how you learn with what works for you.

[effy2014]

I think sexual incompatibility . . . whether it's different libidos or the need for different practices or a partner cannot be romantic enough . . . dooms so many relationships. That is why honesty and communication is so important. These are not "petty" issues and are very difficult to work through.

[Romy]

I agree with all of the above and I'm a firm believer in orgasming at least once a day whether through sex or masturbating as I believe it is essential for good health and mental health too.

[Lexhill]

I am sorry that I believe there are alot of men that don't know what or where the clitoris is. As well at many girls who don't understand what to do with a penis. We live in a world where there are many people who are to self obsessed to understand anything about anyone else. There is even parents who think toddlers don't need supervision, I don't know how they found out how to have sex. Other then that when it comes to sex and health you basically always work after the principal that there are a lot of health benefits but their are nothing damaging about not doing it. Therefor there can be done more damage to have it outside a trusting relationship then go without. It is however a good health benefit of finding ways to relive your own tension, if you have any. But again not unhealthy and damaging not to do but a health benefit to do.


For me foreplay(Traditional view) is a must. I don't quite like the terminology thought. I look at it this way.

Foreplay = Romantic dinner, kisses, touching, massages and etc.
Main course = the sex it self, with teasing, oral, toys, intercourse, orgasms and etc. (Only intercourse is for quickies only)
Dessert = Cuddling and etc.

And the best way is a 3 course deal. When it comes to telling your partner your preferences, please yes do share. I have always encouraged my partners to tell me their preferences and kinks, so I can apply them to the lovemaking as well as to try to evolve them. Sex is only as good as you make it. And for that you need communication and a open mind I think. yes there are certainly sexual incompatibilities out there but many times it goes down to selfishness I think.

[Motorguy]

Motorguy-I'm tricky. A guy may be able to find it, but his touch won't feel right.The guys that know how to properly stimulate the clitoris are the ones that I have an intense attraction/bond with already. I do also need a lot of time, before I want it touched. I don't like it when someone goes straight to it.


CW-I agree. When I break things off with someone, I need a LOT of time to re-group my thoughts, mourn and be ready for the next partner. If I'm not over someone, that's unfair to the new person.

Well yea I never go straight to it. You have to work up to it not just go right to it. Just like when you courting a women you don't just rip her clothes off and take her right there you wine and dine her get her all warm up as I would say. But there is many guys couldn't even begin to tell you where a women clitoris really is at all period.

[Motorguy]

I agree with all of the above and I'm a firm believer in orgasming at least once a day whether through sex or masturbating as I believe it is essential for good health and mental health too.

Very well said Romy, I agree with that statement for sure.

[Motorguy]

Oh not only that MG but that they are selfish, give me a blow job, your in, wow, the ex wouldn't but go down on your woman? Er................

The longest I went was 18 months. For the same reason, why the heck give it up for their joy, I want a man a real man and one that's not after just sex... Hard choice because I love sex.

But after a while it doesn't matter and yes, we can satisfy ourselves who knows our body better right?

I think 12 months also is a good place to be if you are out of something that once was in your eyes, real... Give you time to heal and re-group your thoughts, what you want in life, what you will settle for and not settle for with the later being the operative .

It's only un-healthy in my opinion if you sustain full stop and stop feeling. Sensuality is the most amazing thing, lose it and you lose it.

You can find it in other forms but I do think that a woman needs to continue to feel like a woman..

Yea I should have added selfish as well your so right it's all them and that is it CW. If i didn't go down on Donna lets just say I be in deep you know what lol. I love doing oral on Donna I am more a giver than a receiver. But ME and Donna, do love cuddling and kissing and just laying together even if we don't have sex just being together means a lot for both of us.

[Magnetism]

Regarding selfishness-


I've said it before, and I will say it again. Some of the most intense intimacy I've had is ME doing all of the work and letting the guy lay back. Then, we would cuddle afterwards and I didn't want anything done to me. The euphoria from giving someone oral was more than enough for me.

In order for me to receive, I have to be in the right mood and the person has to be good at it.

The biggest turn off during a sex is a man that just doesn't get your preferences.