[Moni306]

Hello...well have tried being unavailable and taking care of things myself and still does not seem to be working. Porn still seems to be the priority. He told me the other day that he just doesn't get horny any more...unless he is watching porn and doing it himself from what I see. From what he tells me I have to get him in the mood if I want any other wise he isn't coming on to me because he isn't horny!! Well that sure makes a girl feel good! I was even sending naughty text messages again to get the fire going...not working as he doesn't even respond...he says he isn't horny! For a gal like me with this sex drive this is going to drive me crazy!!! I'm not sure what else to do..he won't listen to me when I try to talk to him as I think his porn usage and masturbation are out of control...he says its normal and is all in my head. I'm ready to give up and just live with taking care of myself and him maybe participating once a week or so. I have two children, he adopted both and my son is 11 and just loves him...it is the only dad he has as his other passed away by choice so I don't feel I can leave him...can't do it to my son! Maybe some day he will wake up...you think? I'm glad I am able to talk here as I don't have any friends where I live to talk to. It is a small town and I moved here 6 years ago after meeting him on the internet and this town really locks a person out if they are not from here. Thanks for listening and advise...I'm waiting for the day I can be wild and naughty again :0)

[tsunami47]

He says... Don't, Won't, Can't, Stop doing that...

Have you considered whopping him upside the head with a cast iron skillet? Figuratively of course, tempting as it may be to do it for real.

That is so funny WildChild!! I know that I have always had a high sex drive, and I have lost a few partners because of it. The last one decided that " he obviously didn't like sex". I used to like to spend weekend's laying in bed having sex with my last partner and partners before him, but as I get older and choose older men, that seemed to go out of the window? Why? As that relationship grew, my eagerness to do and try more, wore him out I think... then he went off it entirely. Didn't want me to touch him and spent more time telling me what he didn't like, than what he did.

My new partner has told me that he's frightened of my stamina. He has also described me as being "the man in the relationship". He doesn't like me masturbating or using toys, he thinks that I should wait for him and to keep myself under control. We have gone 2 weeks without sex and we've only been together 3 months? He doesn't like talking about it because he say's he's "squeamish". He won't even consider phone sex. He would prefer that we had one of those relationships where we sit and read the paper, sharing reading glasses.

We don't live together as its a new relationship (3 months). Yesterday, I asked him what he would do if I turned up on his doorstep to kiss him goodnite. He said "I'd drive you home".

He also spends more time telling me what he doesn't want, and what he WON'T do, what he won't read or watch, and calls me a "dirty girl". My stamina for sex has already led us into many arguments and finally today I realised that the relationship isn't going to last.

I feel aroused all of the time. Certain clothes and underwear can start off my arousal. Thinking about certain men can start off my arousal. I wouldn't say I'm out of control, but a week before my period, if I don't have sex during that week I become enraged. I'm at a loss what to do.

[Texinator]

I'm at a loss what to do.

Find someone who can keep up with you.

Never feel ashamed for having a high sex drive!

[Swiftus]

I've got about 2000 spare loads saved up from the years of marriage.....

[Hopeless Dork]

Moni-

I'd hate to suggest mind games, but have you tried making yourself "appear" less available?

Maybe not make advances so often?

You definitely have something here. Sad, but true. I think this is why guys go from being horny all the time, ready for sex at the drop of a hat when single to 'being too tired'... etc for sex sometimes when in a relationship.

It's there. They know its there, they know what they can get and exactly from who. When the scale is balanced and they know they no longer have to work at getting in the girls panties, that the panties are off and on the floor already lol... their true sex drive reveals itself.

I think single guys are like starving/homeless when it comes to sex, they take it any way they can... have to be awake in 3 hours? No problem, the sex is more important than the sleep -- who knows when they'll get another meal like this, afterall.

But guys in relationships with women with high drives are well-fed, they want for nothing... they can turn down a meal whenever they feel like it... they know the fridge is stocked and they can snack whenever the mood strikes.

Maybe women with men taking their availability for granted SHOULD hide the cookies and make him develop some cravings for them.

I HATE the idea of mind games, refuse to play them and am honest to a fault with my feelings to my boyfriend. But what you say right here otya is some good common sense.

The problem is women with a high drive have a hard time refusing when their less driven guy is actually in the mood so hiding the cookies is easier said than done lol.

[StillLearnin]

He would prefer that we had one of those relationships where we sit and read the paper, sharing reading glasses.

He also spends more time telling me what he doesn't want, and what he WON'T do, what he won't read or watch, and calls me a "dirty girl". My stamina for sex has already led us into many arguments and finally today I realised that the relationship isn't going to last.

It's good you realized now before you waste any more time in this dead-end relationship. Nothing against him. There's a woman out there for him that will match his needs. I'm sure he's a good man.

Get out now and find somebody that has a high sex drive like you. For me, you would be the perfect woman. In the bedroom anyway, since I don't know anything else about you. I would love having the challenge of keeping up with a woman like you!

Good luck!

[Guest]

You definitely have something here. Sad, but true. I think this is why guys go from being horny all the time, ready for sex at the drop of a hat when single to 'being too tired'... etc for sex sometimes when in a relationship.

It's there. They know its there, they know what they can get and exactly from who. When the scale is balanced and they know they no longer have to work at getting in the girls panties, that the panties are off and on the floor already lol... their true sex drive reveals itself.

I think single guys are like starving/homeless when it comes to sex, they take it any way they can... have to be awake in 3 hours? No problem, the sex is more important than the sleep -- who knows when they'll get another meal like this, afterall.

But guys in relationships with women with high drives are well-fed, they want for nothing... they can turn down a meal whenever they feel like it... they know the fridge is stocked and they can snack whenever the mood strikes.

Maybe women with men taking their availability for granted SHOULD hide the cookies and make him develop some cravings for them.

I HATE the idea of mind games, refuse to play them and am honest to a fault with my feelings to my boyfriend. But what you say right here otya is some good common sense.

The problem is women with a high drive have a hard time refusing when their less driven guy is actually in the mood so hiding the cookies is easier said than done lol.

You're on the right track.

But the lack of sex doesn't have to do with power or control. Guys usually don't think like that. They will use emotional strength or money as leverage, but will very rarely use sex.

And, no, despite what you'll hear here, most of us aren't threatened if our women have higher sex drives than us. Most really don't care. As long as they their desired level of sex is achieved, everything is fine.

The lack of sex has more to do with our inherent desire for variety.

These men who all of the sudden lose their sex drives, didn't just *lose* them. They are probably spending their energy elsewhere. Sad to say, but they are just getting sick of the same thing over and over. Variety is what they crave.

I'm a man. I don't particularly like it anymore. But it's tough to overcome.

Some are successful...some aren't.

A spectacular woman makes it easier.

[Hopeless Dork]

Men's inherent need for variety is no more overpowering than a womans inherent need to be given attention.

I had a friend put me in my place not long ago. We were driving around and I was talking about this subject.... why would a guy who's happy still look for other women to get excited about? We went for coffee, the guy working the counter was flirty as ever, we exchanged harmless banter and then me and my friend got our drinks and left...

They said... well look at you? I was like what? She drew my attention to the fact that guy made me smile, made me blush, put a little spring in my step. No, I don't want him. No, I don't love my boyfriend any less... he is all I want. But the exchange between me and that counter worker, those exchanges happen all the time.

Someone noticing me, me smiling to myself, me going on with my day thinking about my boyfriend.

Men, seem to be more interested in looking than being looked at. That little rush of excitement of feeling attention from the opposite sex I was mentioning... Some get that little rush of excitement from watching other women in porn.

I guess thats where we differ. Its the same thing. But different. Both feeling enjoyment from something that is just in nature to enjoy. Both still faithful.

I don't think that in and of itself is bad. What would be bad is if I decided that I'd rather fantasize about having sex with some guy that was flirting with me... take care of my needs with that fantasy then ignore my bf's needs/wants.

Sounds rediculous to me, but that is exactly what many guys do with porn.

[Guest]

What would be bad is if I decided that I'd rather fantasize about having sex with some guy that was flirting with me... take care of my needs with that fantasy then ignore my bf's needs/wants.

Sounds rediculous to me, but that is exactly what many guys do with porn.

It's also what many women do with porn.

H&ll, women don't even need porn in order to shutdown sexually.

Please - you need to quit thinking about things in terms of females versus males....where the man is *always* the devil. It doesn't make for productive discussion.

[Hopeless Dork]

It's also what many women do with porn.

H&ll, women don't even need porn in order to shutdown sexually.

Please - you need to quit thinking about things in terms of females versus males....where the man is *always* the devil. It doesn't make for productive discussion.

BUT men AREEE the devil. Haven't you been listening!!!! lol. I know I speak in sweeping generalizations, but seriously. How many men have come to his forum stating they SO is masturbating to porn all the time and doesn't have the energy left to bleep him.

Oh they come and complain about not getting bleeped, but its usually post after post after post of women saying their men don't want sex with them but can't wait to stick their hand down their own pants the minute their lady leaves the house.

Women have their fair set of issues, I would never argue that. Some women enjoy porn more then men, I'd bet on it.... but making sweeping generalizations when it comes to some guys and their porn -- I don't feel too guilty about . :P

6 in one hand half a dozen in the other, for every man complaining about not getting enough sex, theres a man masturbating in his office while his SO is pulling her hair with sexual frustration in the other room. And for every woman pulling her hair out with sexual frustration, theres another woman in another room making a list of excuses why she doesn't want her man inside of her. Its just the way it is.