[SamanthaM]

We talked and had a really good conversation. We are going to start going to the gym at our apartment so we can both burn the stress of the day off and get into shape. We will make an attempt to spend romantic time together once a week and more if the mood is right. After that talk it hit a spark and we just had a nice roll in za hay. He understood that I want more but sometimes more is just one on one attention. We are going to inhance our everyday life so we can each be healthy. I know he will feel more confident if he gets into shape. Thing is we were really really good friends for 3 years before we started dating and now 6 years later we have grown and weaved our lives so tight that we can talk about things but still need to soften the approach. We love each other so much and where I know the sex will not increase to where I would like it, I am fine with making it a priority once a week or at least twice a month. As long as we have that, I am happy. Finding myself a toy will be nice so I can help myself and take the stress off him a bit. That way I don't get upset and he can give me the real treat and it will be that much better. I feel herd and that is amazing beyond words. Thanks everyone.!

[JonDoe]

Glad to hear that you had a healthy discussion with your partner and making plans together. Sometimes just being heard helps to improve our feelings about the circumstances. However, from your posts, it doesn't seem like your needs will be met by having sex twice a month. In my opinion, a healthy, young couple living together should be able to have sex at least once or twice a week under normal circumstances. For what it is worth, the pastor at my church shares the same view.

As far as sex toys, Lelo brand vibrators are among the best. Visit their website and checkout the Liv, Mona and Ina. They are more expensive, but in my opinion well worth it if you can afford it. You may get a better price on Amazon, but checkout the Lelo site first because it has more information as well as videos describing the products. Cyberskin dildos are preferred by many too.

Good luck and let us know how things are progressing.

[Bobich]

At the same time I agree and disagree with John Doe. Toys might help you to solve the problem or not. Any case I would recommend you try to use adult toys together for more diverse sex relations!

I have had a similar problem with my bf. We decided to solve it resorting to toys. But we had some doubts about discreet purchasing and couldn't choose the store. One of my friends recommended us (EDIT - outbound linking now allowed) so we ordered stuff there. We tried to use them during the sex and foreplay and actually they worked great for us!

Cheers and Good luck!

[effy2014]

Real communication is crucial in a relationship. I am glad that you found your voice and that he listened you. If he ever plays the "I am just a horrible boyfriend" card, don't fall for the bait. It is just a defense mechanism for changing the conversation away from the issue that makes him uncomfortable. Keep talking about the issue until authentic feelings and emotions are discussed. It works!

[Lexhill]

SamanthaM: I just read through this and I noticed a little thing. You mentioned you encourage him to watch porn to raise his wish for sex. Could there be a better way to give him a live show sometimes instead. As long as he is ok with it anyway. Maybe you giving him a private show will make him wanna play with you. I don't know how you guys live but as long as no one can see you where you usually stay in your house you can just give him a show whenever. You don't have to move to the bed.

Just a suggestion. The real thing is a lot hotter then porn in my opinion. Other than that I feel for you. I have it the same way of being almost constantly on the edge.