[Bowlly]

Hi, lately i've been feeling like i'm losing my sex drive. I'm really scared that it can hurt my life with my husband. Any advice?

[atskitty2]

Have you recently given birth or had other life changing events? Could it be a natural decline due to aging?
It is always good to see your doc to rule out any physical reason for the change. Get a wellness checkup and discuss it with them.
They can check hormones and rule out things of a physical nature. Are you physically fit?
Stress and anxiety can influence sex drive.

How is your relationship with your husband? Are you feeling good about things or are there changes within your bond together?
All sorts of things can cause a decline...sometimes it's a brief dip in libido that subsides, other times it's permanent. Start with your doc

[raindancer]

Perhaps the secret is to have it very often. It is kind of teaching your brain to get so used to it, it'll sort of wake you up to do it. I have never read research on the subject, but I've read a few papers about this type of brain training for sports. If you keep a regular running schedule for a few months, running will become second nature to you. Like, it's hard to get the motivation at the beginning, but if you make a habit of it, in spite of yourself, your brain will pick a new routine and it'll become second nature for you to get up and go running. It takes time to get to that stage, but it works in a statistically significant way.

I've read research papers on the libido problem and, unfortunately, there isn't a medicine for that. Research is scarce on it, mainly because we live in a male world. Viagra exists, but nothing is done to help women. One wonders who these Viagra/Cyalis-men are supposed to be having sex with...

Anyway, I think it's worth to try the conditioning technique.

If, however, you're struggling because sex isn't good for you, demand a change. Don't accept sex without at least one orgasm for you. Women often do it, to please their men, but, in the long run, that will make it more and more difficult for them to find the motivation. How many years would take a man to lose interest in sex if he was only getting the release of an orgasm one in every four times he had sex?

We produce very little testosterone. It's hard to keep libido going. Every little bit helps.

Then, there's the sure thing to reignite libido: sex with a different man. If you're in an open marriage, that's something both of you could talk about and consider. It's instantaneous cure to libido issues, IF no guilty is involved.

[Motorguy]

Maybe this will help you Bowlly and give you some idea on what you can do. Good luck and I hope you and hubby can get that sexy spark back in the bedroom again soon.


The hormonal imbalances found in menopause, perimenopause and post menopause, commonly result in the decline in sexual drive or low libido in women . The main hormone culprits are progesterone, testosterone, and estrogen.
Progesterone and Estrogen
Progesterone naturally decreases production during perimenopause; this can result in an estrogen dominance, which effectively causes low libido in women. This imbalance often causes vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy (a loss of muscle tension), and decreased clitoral sensitivity. The other consequences of estrogen dominance, including mood swings, weight gain, and fatigue, add to the problem. Too little estrogen causes similar vaginal problems.
Testosterone
Reduced ovarian function, caused by hormonal imbalance or a hysterectomy, lessens the amount of testosterone a woman produces, especially in post menopause. While testosterone is mainly considered a hormone for men, it also serves important purposes for women. In terms of libido, testosterone for women serves to heighten sexual response and orgasms. As a result, low testosterone causes a loss of libido.
Experts say that loss of desire and low sex drive may be directly related to lower estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone levels, which often happens during menopause. Low libido in women is the most common sexual complaint made by women - up to 30 to 40 percent of them. Even younger women can feel the effect of a hormonal imbalance as it relates to their sex life.
The Solution
Even an unhealthy diet can cause symptoms, like fatigue, which contribute to low libido in women. This makes it important to value nutrition and exercise. The BodyLogicMD programs include guidelines for a healthy lifestyle that will optimize your natural hormone therapy.
Essentially, to avoid a low sex drive, hormonal balance is crucial. Bioidentical hormone therapy repairs the damage caused by a hysterectomy or menopause by finding the hormone equilibrium your body needs. This means that the symptoms that caused the loss of libido, such as those named above, are often relieved, resulting in an increased sexual drive.
.........................affiliated doctor treats each patient's situation uniquely. Hormone levels are evaluated using comprehensive saliva and blood testing. We use bioidentical hormone therapy with proper nutrition, supplement and fitness to correct any imbalance. Bioidentical hormone therapy helps balance out women's hormone levels making them feel "sexy" again without any adverse side effects.


(Contents copied from Internet)

[raindancer]

Motorguy,



And there's a lot more to female libido (and male, for that matter) than hormones. I'm not saying that isn't very, very important, but it isn't all.

[PhrendlyPhil]

When you say "lately" I assume you've been married quite some time. Absolutely normal. Nothing to worry about. Just be sensitive to you're husband's "needs" and you'll be just fine. If he is a caring and loving husband, he'll understand you're sex drive changing with age. When my wife went through this, her gynecologist prescribed a vaginal suppository hormone (very expensive). She had to stop it abruptly due do another unrelated health issue. Nonetheless she is still loving and accommodating towards me and we both still have fun together. Even with a drop in your own sex drive you can still be a wonderful partner to your husband.

[Bowlly]

Thank you so much guys! I know it can be because of the age and all that. But i don't want it to happen, i want to want sex. I want to be crazy attracted to the man i love like i used to.
The sex was always great so it's not about that, i just feel that i don't want it anymore. This has to change.

[JessyJess]

Have you seen this?

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/...ivational-help

When i was looking into this product, some woman wrote on some forum (don't remember where) that it really helped her to get her sex drive back.
Maybe try to google it...

[Bowlly]

Have you seen this?

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/...ivational-help

When i was looking into this product, some woman wrote on some forum (don't remember where) that it really helped her to get her sex drive back.
Maybe try to google it...

Thanks Jessy! It does sound interesting.. I googled it and found a few recommendations specific to my condition.
Will look into it...

[cathygirl]

Bowlly, is there anything you find that stimulates your sex drive at all? Others have made many good suggestions. You know yourself better than any of us, though. Is there a scenario or a smell or a place or anything that has kind of gotten your motor running in the past? Have you ever looked at videos of other people doing it and found that to be arousing? Do you find your interest catches fire once things get started with your husband, or is it just flat all the way through? I know there are times when sex is the farthest thing from my mind but I know that when I see my husband getting aroused my excitement kind of build on his when it wasn't there to start with. Other times I can't keep my hands off of him, but if those times didn't come around I'd still be inclined to let his excitement stimulate mine. But if none of that has any effect then you might need to seek some help with a counselor who is good with sexual response issues.

Some people find it helpful to just play with their partner with an agreement that there will be no direct contact with breasts or genitals. A nice bath together, perhaps mutual massage, etc. but no expectation of sex. If one of you is aroused s/he could relieve any sexual tension by masturbating with their partner, but no sex. The ways this can play out are endless, but exercises like that can stimulate libido quickly for some people. Of course you have to be very communicative with your partner for anything to work. Be open to anything because sexuality is a terrible thing to lose. It is worth taking risks and pushing the envelope to not lose it.