[C]

You are probably finding her blow job is not good because she is not getting into it...Without passion, sex can be like taking a bath with your clothes on....I understand women can be hesitant but this does not make sense....Lord, I did not know there were that many virgins around anymore....I thought they died off with me....

I really have to agree with Anon somewhat on this. The reason being I have seen many marriages go down the drain because of the sexuality issue.. Unfortunately, it can very easily be a ploy by a woman...Oh, these men have some great ideas for turning her on but they must consider that she just may not want to be turned on....They must realize that she may NEVER want to be turned on like this..We are all different..Like Fallen spoke about earlier in her life she had a situation where no passion was shown to her....A man can have this same thing happen to him with a woman...We can act like a robot and never change and be content...This must be observed and possibly acted upon as you are talking about many years of marriage and hopefully a lot of sex.

I do realize these are only my thoughts on this but many women wear two faces....They seem to forget all the passionate women that are waiting out there for a chance to get a man whether he is single or married....This will never change in life.....It will only get worse...Take care, Caroline

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Oral sex aside, the no sex before marriage thing is always the result of religious brainwashing. And that's not something I'd ever get myself in for - but I suppose I'm a bit of a perfectionist facist so don't take me too seriously.

My partner often stops me from licking her out, but I feel like I've done my part in offering, I still expect mine. If she really wants to deny herself I'll let her haha. She is a bit converned, about all sorts of things - shaving rash in that area, thinks she smells/tastes funny, as indicated when I kiss her afterwards... I've told her it's fine, no change.

It could be that I don't care much about changing her mind since she said she hates penises (except mine ) and that they taste bad (though I always wash first).......

This relationship's on the way out...

[C]

If two people only realized how important it is to be sexually tuned when you marry they would think twice...I was reading today in Newsweek about the Divorces and it is astounding...And women wonder why men look around....Then a lovely woman comes along who is willing to hold a man and love him and he is ready and willing...The ex-wife cries later for she took her husband for granted.....Who is to blame?

[Fallen1]

My partner often stops me from licking her out, but I feel like I've done my part in offering, I still expect mine. If she really wants to deny herself I'll let her haha. She is a bit converned, about all sorts of things - shaving rash in that area, thinks she smells/tastes funny, as indicated when I kiss her afterwards... I've told her it's fine, no change.

It could be that I don't care much about changing her mind since she said she hates penises (except mine ) and that they taste bad (though I always wash first).......

This relationship's on the way out...

True, all you can do is offer. If she turns it down it's her loss.

Don't understand the penises tasting bad part. What's to taste bad other than the cum?

Caroline is right. Maybe if women would/could overcome some of their anxieties etc. and keep their men satisfied maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

In no way am I blaming the wives in all cases. I think we all know that there are cases where the females are very giving and attentive but the man still will stray.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It is interesting when you look at a lot of the threads here from young ladies that want to wait but they are saying how do i do it better and how do i get him to do this...

Then you have this young man who is talking about what he wants to do to her that she can not see, fair enough, but also that whilst she will do it to him that's still difficult for her to let herself go and enjoy it.

I think frankly she is very reserved, nieve and not ready.

This would be a serious thing if it continues down the path to marriage as yes, by that stage if things haven't altered it is going to be a very rocky, un-happy marriage with who knows what occuring..

I agree with Caroline the difficulty there and Fallen1 with the advice regarding you need to sit down and talk about it, perhaps even look at books together pertaining sex and Anon regarding the future.... Then there is Hystorm regarding how...

So, maybe the first step is to follow the advice of discussion as you really need to know if this cycle is for the now or for the future...

It is difficult to "change someone" from their beliefs.....

But not difficult to encourage if they are willing.......

CW

[C]

It is interesting when you look at a lot of the threads here from young ladies that want to wait but they are saying how do i do it better and how do i get him to do this...

Then you have this young man who is talking about what he wants to do to her that she can not see, fair enough, but also that whilst she will do it to him that's still difficult for her to let herself go and enjoy it.

I think frankly she is very reserved, nieve and not ready.

This would be a serious thing if it continues down the path to marriage as yes, by that stage if things haven't altered it is going to be a very rocky, un-happy marriage with who knows what occuring..

I agree with Caroline the difficulty there and Fallen1 with the advice regarding you need to sit down and talk about it, perhaps even look at books together pertaining sex and Anon regarding the future.... Then there is Hystorm regarding how...

So, maybe the first step is to follow the advice of discussion as you really need to know if this cycle is for the now or for the future...

It is difficult to "change someone" from their beliefs.....

But not difficult to encourage if they are willing.......

CW

There is so much truth in this even though I hate to say it...When I was younger and more aware of couples and seeing their actions, I used to see maybe a couple holding hands and clinging to each other...Maybe she was 40 pounds overweight and he was great looking..I used to wonder if she worried if he would chase on her...Then looking closer you could see that they were crazy about each other...She clung to him and he to her because they lived in their own special heaven...It had a sign on the outside..."No Admittance".... You could plainly see that she kept him sexually happy and their example was what is so often missing in a good marriage or relationship...The absence of sex can make one partner crabby and wanting, while the other is happy and content as he/she did not want it...It is so important to get this straightened out before marriage because if nothing else it will get worse.

I learned my lesson in life from watching my parent's terrible marriage...I vowed when we married to always keep him front and center...And I have...Not that I am that wonderful, but that he is........TC, C

[Private.Flangeamin]

Hystorm is on the right track.

steer clear of the breasts (at least the nipples)

You carnt be serious......thats the best part ...ok, perhaps im speaking for myself but dont know how you can say that...

[Private.Flangeamin]

I REALLY want to do or at least try, but sadly her answer is always "No! Its sick and disgusting" or something similiar because she thinks it's sick...



Oh also her Blow Jobs and Hand Jobs don't seem to work at all :/ havn't found a way for her to give me an orgasm yet

I would really think very hard about this relationship ...in the long term is it going anywhere and if you do get married how will things be some years down the line!! the words your girlfriend is using sick and disgusting is giving you a clear indication there is an issue !. but the fact your girlfriend will do it to you shows shes a woman who wants to be in control if your happy with that now will you be six months into marriage ..this whole virginity issue i find hard to understand, either you are or you are not and oral male and female is still sex and can only lead to getting "out of hand " most men would be frustrated at not going all the way ..it just seems a dangerous activity to indulge in as if she is certain she dosent want to lose it ...dont have any form of sex play bar from kissing if so use a condom ...it only takes a drop ! things bwere much clear when i was twenty if you had a boyfriend and you were fully attracted to each other theres no talk of sick or disgusting just fun times and lots of passion kisses and cuddles !

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Richard SHystorm is on the right track.

Giving a full body massage is also very effective. A woman's sexual response is strongly tied into her over sensuality. How you use your hands is very important. Start with the back, them move to the legs and feet. Feet are very, very important, as are the legs and that spot behind the knee. Once you have her loving your massage, you can kiss her around the thighs and work your way to the inner thighs...

But take your time with it. You are training her body to respond to you. Be a tease at first, that is steer clear of the breasts (at least the nipples) and the genitals. But explore every other inch of her body. Use candles, massage oil, new-agey music, give her the full treatment.

You know how it is, being a guy. Bide your time, wait for the moment, read her signals. But when you feel the moment is right... go in for the kill. Be the man. Give her the space to be a woman, to surrender to you.

I think he can say that full frontal actually, when i first read that i was scared that his name started with (K) no punt intented.

Because he is 100% correct, if you go for any of the "spots" straight away being the nipples or the virgina if i have to be so blunt it is sex, but a massage and steering clear of going straight there makes a woman not only feel sensual but at ease, feeling that she is not a piece of "meat", perhaps you read it wrong.

His sexual spots i can relate to very much, why would you want to touch her "parts" but at the same time tell her to trust you for heaven sake? I know what that would tell me, but to touch the "outskirts" and work around them is not only pleasure but a safety measure that makes a women feel okay.

Don't understand what you are thinking? Perhaps you are speaking for yourself, but i think you are speaking about the sexual feeling of what your nipples feel like being touched rather than the act of seduction which is what they speak....

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

We posted at the same time.... PF.

I would really think very hard about this relationship ...in the long term is it going anywhere and if you do get married how will things be some years down the line!! the words your girlfriend is using sick and disgusting is giving you a clear indication there is an issue !. but the fact your girlfriend will do it to you shows shes a woman who wants to be in control if your happy with that now will you be six months into marriage ..this whole virginity issue i find hard to understand, either you are or you are not and oral male and female is still sex and can only lead to getting "out of hand " most men would be frustrated at not going all the way ..it just seems a dangerous activity to indulge in as if she is certain she dosent want to lose it ...dont have any form of sex play bar from kissing if so use a condom ...it only takes a drop ! things bwere much clear when i was twenty if you had a boyfriend and you were fully attracted to each other theres no talk of sick or disgusting just fun times and lots of passion kisses and cuddles !

Why? They are young and un-experienced and learning? Did you read the beginning? Hystorm i agree as you have been there and others agree.

Nothing wrong at such an early stage sexually to find anything discusting really because you have not experienced, so how would you know.

And this is why she is open to doing oral on you, it is in our heads, first thing i knew you were supposed to be okay with but didn't mean then, i knew how to?

Learn together and grow, as age builds so does knowledge.....

CW