[Stillness]

I know this has been done before, but Obelisk’s comment on this thread (https://www.womens-health.com/boards/...-get-sex/page2) brought to mind some rethinking I’ve had on this issue. I’ll explain below.

[Stillness]

Sometimes stereotypes are just that. They’re widely believed, but oversimplistic (or just flat out incorrect) ideas about a group. Then there is “common knowledge” that seem to be less obviously false, or maybe even true. We’ve had this discussion before – actually, it’s part of the reason I initially found this site. The posts and comments on this site convinced me that the common knowledge, conversations, and experience I had pointing to men having a stronger sex drive was wrong. I concluded that female sexuality was different, but that women could be as horny as men. It helped me remember my first sexual relationship was with a woman who almost certainly more of a hornball than I was at 17 years old. I was greatly comforted by that.

Then I came across some articles and ideas that shook me from that comfort. For example, if you google “female male sex drive,” one of the first articles will be one from WebMD, titled: Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare? The conclusion:

men score higher in libido

It makes a pretty persuasive case for that conclusion, too.

There’s another article by a psychologist researching this and having difficulty quantifying libido, called The Reality of the Male Sex Drive; Is there anything good about men? It really drove the point home by proposing a difficult scenario to deal with for anyone who believes in equal sex drive between men and women:

Imagine two women (or two men for that matter), such that one of them has truly a stronger sex drive than the other. What differences in preferences and behavior would you expect to see between the two of them? For example, the one with the stronger sex drive would presumably think about sex more often; have more fantasies, desire, and actual sex more often; have more partners; masturbate more often; and devote more effort to having sex than the other. The reverse is quite implausible. That is, it is hard to imagine the woman with a weaker sex drive having more frequent sexual fantasies than the woman with the stronger sex drive.

When he and his colleagues scoured the studies asking this question, it pointed clearly to this fact: Men have the stronger drive.

Thoughts

[atskitty2]

I remember obelisk. <br />
<br />
Generally I believe it's true that men's drive is stronger than women's. Occasionally, there's a man with lower drive, or a woman with exceptionally high drive.

[Ashlee T.]

In my own personal experience, I haven't found men to have higher sex drives. I have found that they perhaps think about sex more and even talk about sex more, but when it actually comes down to action, the avg guy doesn't really want it any more than I do, or sometimes even as much. A woman can climax and keep going like an energizer bunny, to where it seems most men climax and then need a fairly significant recovery period before round two. I think men do a lot of TALKING about wanting more sex, being ready for it ALL the time, etc. But I think much of that is just talk. :-)

[Stillness]

I have found that they perhaps think about sex more

It's hard to imagine this not correlating to sex drive. Wouldn't someone with a stronger desire to eat think about food more?

I really want to believe what you're saying, I just doubt it, though.

[atskitty2]

And also, ability is not indicative of desire or drive. I've been with men who want to keep going after their initial round, but their body doesn't allow it. They wanted to, and did, as soon as their body allowed.

[Stillness]

Yep. It's just logic.

I had been holding out hope that if I got in better shape or if my wife hit the right age then things might change. This site had encouraged me. Now I'm trying to deal with the fact that the average woman is not going to be on the same level as the average man. It's depressing.

[atskitty2]

I am sorry Still. I know it's frustrating. But it isn't you. try not to let it get you down.

[Stillness]

Thanks.

I guess I prefer truth over false hope, though.

[Lexhill]

I do think in general that men tend to have a higher sex drive. But I do also believe that it's alot more complex as well. I don't disregard the fact that certain bodily differences might have some cause. But i do believe that our mental society has just as much to do with it. While the common statement still is "Men/Boys just are sexual creaturs", "plow as many as you can beofre getting married" and general encuragment to lose virginity is accepted statements and behavior. Girls gets many other messages like "It's ok for you to show your sexuality", "You should not have sex before marrige", "Save yourself for the right one" and the fact that girls with many different sexual partners often get viewed as tramps and boys get a "god" status. I believe that generates a mental state that creates a lower sex drive in women than men. I do also believe that is where the "good girl crazy in bed" thing comes from, even thought it's true or not.

This does not mean that many women can have escaped from this state as female sexuality has been more and more accepted and even celebrated to a much larger extent then men's. Even women on women sex are widely accepted while men om men are as far as I know looked at with disgust. This celebration of female sexuality is something i would think triggers many women to have a higher sexual drive then men again.