[miffed23]

Hello all, i said i would keep you updated...and also, it helps me a lot being able to chat about the situation.

As most of you know, i ended things with the married man, told him i didnt want any contact from him etc...what most of you dont know is what has happened since then. So, here goes,ill try to keep it short...

He became very upset, ive had around 300 text messages and calls in a week...all of which, ive ignored. Most of them saying something along the lines of 'im going to leave her', 'i cant live without you' ...blah...blah.

I became fed up yesterday and to be quite honest, its rather painful knowing that someone is hurting as much as he appears to be ; so i called him, told him to listen, told him that if he is going to leave his wife, he needs to stop contacting me for at least a month to think if its really the right thing to do...if he does decide it is, then he can go ahead and leave her....and even after then, i still need a month away from him so that he can clear his head.

Is this good advice?

Anyhooo, calls have stopped , he still sends the odd text message saying he misses me and i guess, that brings you up to date.

Any advice? I am doing okay? Should i have done things differently?

Still feeling confident and strong, ive convinced myself that he wont leave his wife and i would probably have a heart attack if he did!!

Thank you all for your advice on the early thread. xx

[Little]

There's a way on my phone to block texts from a certain number; you should look for it.
Let's say that he DOES leave his wife for real ...
Do you want to be with a man who is THIS obsessive? Who can't seem to lose? It's flattering to be the center of attention, but what if he stays this way? I wouldn't be able to take it.
I suggest you tell him to just suck it up and jog on ... then block all communication; there are ways. It'll be easier to forget him if your phone isn't being constantly blown up, no matter how much it boosts your ego.

[miffed23]

There's a way on my phone to block texts from a certain number; you should look for it.

I had a look, and although i have that, i need to enter a pin and i have no idea what the pin is ...

My gosh, i havent even thought about "if he does leave his wife" - my initial instinct is that i wouldnt be able to trust him.

Id really appreciate it if you'd tell me how you think he is obsessive. Ive a fair idea, but its great to get an outsiders opinion. That way, ill know whether my thoughts are right or not.

[C]

I had a look, and although i have that, i need to enter a pin and i have no idea what the pin is ...

My gosh, i havent even thought about "if he does leave his wife" - my initial instinct is that i wouldnt be able to trust him.

Id really appreciate it if you'd tell me how you think he is obsessive. Ive a fair idea, but its great to get an outsiders opinion. That way, ill know whether my thoughts are right or not.

Honey, from my house to yours......STAY AWAY......Wait for the perfect guy to come along...Don't mess around....Much love to you..xox Caroline

[miffed23]

Honey, from my house to yours......STAY AWAY......Wait for the perfect guy to come along...Don't mess around....Much love to you..xox Caroline

Thank you hon, as far as im concerned ive ended things, but ive done it in such as roundabout way..that now, im in even more trouble...i mean, what if he leaves his wife?? Shall i now tell him that i dont want him to leave his wife...not that ive said i want him to...oh god, what a pickle!

[miffed23]

I must add though, and Caroline, you will understand....the experience (as bad as it is) has opened me up like a flower - i believe im quoting you there

The next single, non-commited man that i set my eye on, had better watch out!!

[Little]

How are 300 tests/calls in one week NOT obsessive? Most folks after ten ... twenty ... hopefully fewer attempts to contact are going to stop.
Look for the "lock" feature on your phone; you may not even have set the pin yet.
Just don't talk to him. I doubt highly he'd leave his wife, and if he does, it's likely that it's not even about you; just about their relationship.
Run away ... far, far, FAR away. Don't hesitate to call your phone company to figure out the pin, to block his calls as well. Don't hesitate to call the police and get a restraining order. This guy is BAD NEWS.

[miffed23]

How are 300 tests/calls in one week NOT obsessive? Most folks after ten ... twenty ... hopefully fewer attempts to contact are going to stop.
Look for the "lock" feature on your phone; you may not even have set the pin yet.
Just don't talk to him. I doubt highly he'd leave his wife, and if he does, it's likely that it's not even about you; just about their relationship.
Run away ... far, far, FAR away. Don't hesitate to call your phone company to figure out the pin, to block his calls as well. Don't hesitate to call the police and get a restraining order. This guy is BAD NEWS.

I only have a call barring service, which bars all outgoing/incoming calls...not just the one.... argh!

Ill give him another week, if he is still as obsessive as he is being...then ill contact my phone company. It is difficult to be cruel (and sadly, thats what i see it as) to someone who has shared a lot with you and someone who you were seriously attracted to. But, like you said..he is bad news. He has a wife for gods sake!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Dear me!!!

300 Text calls?

That would have sent me in a panic, feeling stalked and frightened.

I hope you are okay?

I am sure that the phone Company can change what ever you need, or else, as i said to Just4me, once, change the number.

My Office Manager at work had to do that and it was easy enough to do, apart from having to give everyone you want, your new number again, which is a bummer.....

I wouldn't worry about him leaving his wife, you are not in a pickle, he will slip away eventually, just don't let him stalk you personally either as i imagine he knows where you live, work. That being if he can't reach you by telephone, then you have to consider he may still want to find a way to change your mind.....

So at the risk of sounding like a mum again, ( lol) , make sure that you always are looking when you leave home and work and if he does, as Little said, call the Police and have a restraining order put on him straight away!!!

CW

[Richard S]

A normal guy can be pushed into seemingly obsessive behavior when you cut off communication cold turkey. It's good that you contacted him and laid down some rules.

So now he's got one chance to be on good behavior with you and respect the boundaries, hopefully he won't screw that up.

Good luck.