[WaveRider]

Hi Ted,

You're right. I am not qualified no diagnose her nor would I. She has told me that she's been horny all of her life since puberty and she has abnormally high testosterone. She said that thoughts of sex still consume much of time.

She has told me that she's completely comfortable with me sexually and socially. When she comes over, she takes off her clothes and puts on a pair of my boxers and a t-shirt. We'll watch TV until she's had enough wine to want sex. Then she gets naked and will stay that way untilI I have to take her home. If she spends the night, she'll sleep naked. She has told me many times that she has never been as comfortable with any other man as she is with me. I've never judged her. If she wants me to perform a certain sex act, she knows that all she has to do is ask. But we're so comfortable that we know what each other wants without asking.

She was extremely sexually experienced before I began dating her. Her former husband used to demean her if she asked him to do something that he thought was outside of his comfort zone. She said he was completely clueless in bed.

Her comfort level with me and possibly sexual repression during marriage might factor in to her sexual desires.

I know all of her fantasies. She'll talk about them during sex.

She can cum many, many times from oral sex. She loves it. Many of her orgasms are massive, as in having to catch her breath orgasms.

[WaveRider]

I talked to her earlier today. We were going to have wine. But I have had a long day, so I cancelled. I could tell from her reply that she was disappointed.

That woman can have sex every day many times a day.

Maybe oxytocin motivates her. She has told me many, many times that she's addicted to sex.

[WaveRider]

According to what she's told me, she has always been horny. Sometimes she goes through phases when more horny than merely her normal state of horny. When she's more horny, she wants it all the time. Sometimes her more horny phase can last a month or more. Hence, my guess is that it's hormonal.

I do remember her telling me that there were times when she was younger when she craved sex. She'd meet a dude she was seeing at the time in a dorm room between classes for sex.

Do women go through horny phases when they're more horny than usual?

[amy40]

She has told me many, many times that she's addicted to sex.

this is your most telling statement

[WaveRider]

Hi amy40,

I don't believe anyone can become addicted to sex. Sex is a behavior. Behaviors can be changed or modified. I think she used the addicted thing to justify her desire for sex. She loves sex is probably more accurate than her alleged addiction to sex.

I do believe that there are times when women are more horny; e.g., ovulating.

[amy40]

After her physician diagnosed her with high testosterone, she thought it was causal of her very high sex drive.

interestingly, have found multiple articles that report testosterone does not increase libido in women

[jns]

Hormones released by good sex can be addictive. If the good sex stops, withdrawal symptoms can start.

[atskitty2]

What jns said, we can have a sort of dependency on the "high" produced from hormones released during orgasm. This may be her reference to addiction.

Some people tho, just have naturally high sex drive. I think we tend to be quick to assign labels to behavior in our culture. It could be she's just a person with exceptional libido.

I think it would be best for her to find a man of matching libido or an arrangement with more than one man. It seems over-reaching to ask you to take meds for this reason. Your choice, of course.
Are you ok with this?

[WaveRider]

jns,

You mean oxytocin? That's an angle I hadn't considered. Runners get addicted to a runner's high due to chemicals released by the brain during intense physical activity.

[WaveRider]

I'm going to write that she's my g/f. She isn't. It's easier than writing the woman I'm dating. We're far closer than FWB. She used to be my g/f. We had and still have an intense relationship. She wants to remarry. I don't. We've agreed that were she to meet a dude who is marriage potential, that she's free to do what she has to do with the proviso that she tell me if she has had sex with him. The reality, especially in CA, is that divorced men are extremely reluctant to remarry because of CA family law which is wholly devoid of justice. It entices women to remain married for 10 years then divorce because their husbands are on the hook for lifetime spousal support.

Last night I was BS'ing with my neighbors. They know her. The husband was the dude to whom my g/f exposed herself. She told me that his seeing her naked turned her on. Anyway, the wife told me that it's obvious that my g/f is a nymphomaniac. She explained her take take on her to me. She said that my g/f is getting close to menopause. She might be in perimenopause. She said that my g/f might be experiencing changes within her body that signal a new phase of her life, a phase that might signal the end of middle age. She thinks that it's possible that my g/f wants to experience as much and varied sex as possible.

My g/f fantasizes about multiple partners, all men. My neighbor's wife told me that she probably wants to fulfill as many of her fantasies as possible before menopause.

Of course, this is all speculation. I'm supposed to take her to dinner tonight. We've both have had stressful weeks. So I know she'll be in wine mood, a lot of wine. I'll very carefully approach the subject of her sexuality. If she wants to talk about it, I'll listen. If not, I'm good. I do know that when she starts of her second bottle of wine she'll get naked and become very talkative, especially about sex.