[Snowflake]

Lexhill: He works 14 hour days, he comes home and then is either working some more, or getting phone calls. He does help with dinner, getting the kids to bed, and the clean up. But While him helping is great, I still feel left out.

Amy40: No we havent. Last time was 5 months ago, for a wedding. Then I cant remember the last time. Could be years? We don't have babysitters, as we move a lot, and don't have many friends or family nearby.

[jns]

Lexhill: He works 14 hour days, he comes home and then is either working some more, or getting phone calls. He does help with dinner, getting the kids to bed, and the clean up.

14 hour workdays plus commute time plus lunch plus working at home plus phone calls at home adds up to very busy days for him. What is his schedule on the weekends? It sounds like you need to hire a housekeeper who can also help with the children. I hope he is getting compensated well for all of the work he is doing for his company.

[amy40]

3 young children.......so that is tough to figure out time to be alone and you do need times to be alone to feel like husband and wife rather than parents only

you may just need to be the one to schedule sex into your lives so ask him/write it in his work calendar/give him a note etc (all 3 if forgetful)

we are often the social schedulers of the family anyway, and you know when kids will be sleeping
if he says he's too tired for appt, reschedule/do a quickie (and keep putting sex on calendar)

it's worth a try, isn't it?

[Lexhill]

How many days a week does he work? Does he work shifts (One week on one week off)? because 14 hours a day 5 days a week does not leave much time for family life.

In that case I think Amy40 got a point you need to talk to your partner about actually putting it on a schedule. That way he might be able to make sure he saves some energy for when he comes home again.