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Is it me or is sex boring?

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  • Is it me or is sex boring?

    I've only had sex with my boyfriend once to completion, I only just recently lost my virginity to him and I have to say I'm very underwhelmed by the experience.
    My first time hurt so much we stopped.
    The second time I have to day it wasn't that fun or interesting.

    Is it just me? Will it get better or is this just how it is?
    Any suggestions on what could help or how to bring it up with my boyfriend?

  • It does get better with time and experience. Like many things, it requires effort and practice to be the experience that you want.

    What is it that you are disappointed with?

    Comment


    • It felt rather impersonal and I didnt really feel much of anything. It also hurt a bit even with him being gentle and using lube. Though I was told the first few times are painful

      Comment


      • I would give it some time. It isn't fireworks in the beginning, either physically or emotionally/mentally. If he's gentle and patient, give it awhile to build.

        Comment


        • Thanks. I was worried maybe it was something wrong with me.

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          • Has he made any effort to give you an O? Played with any of your erogenous areas? He should work on getting you involved. It will be more satisfying for the both of you.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment


            • We've done some foreplay. I'm very self-conscious and awkward with doing this stuff.
              I don't know what my erogenous areas are to be honest. I've never been big on self-exploration and the furtherest that I've gone before was making out with someone, and even that was limited.
              I do know I have a sensitive neck.
              I think he tries sometimes and it ends up tickling.
              My breasts actually have a lack of sensation so them being fondled is really nothing to me.

              Comment


              • Sex isnt just the in out of it. Its the whole act, the kissing thier bodies, the rubbing against each other, the blowjob, the oral he gives you, only put his stiffy in your lovehole once your incredibly horny for it. I have to ask though OP, how long did he last? was he fast or slow at thrusting? Did you feel any buildup at all from intercourse?

                Comment


                • Oral is off the table for us, by my request the idea (giving or recieving) makes me feel ill.
                  Not sure how long it lasted, I was just happy it didn't hurt as much as the first time, and then just kinda bored. I like all the stuff before actual intercourse. Started slow and sped up.
                  Not sure what you mean by buildup.

                  Maybe my lady parts are broken, even fingerings didn't do much for me.
                  I feel so abnormal, everyone else seems to enjoy it and I really like him, why can't I be like everyone else?

                  Comment


                  • I don't think, at this point, there's any reason to believe any park of you is broken. Your experience isn't that unique. "Everyone else", as you say, just doesn't discuss it around the dinner table, or make a point to voice their difficulties over polite friendly chatter. it's ok that things aren't explosive in the beginning.

                    Take your time. Nerves and expectations and fears get the better of you, and it can influence the experience.
                    Next time, just work on relaxing and enjoying the sensations that you do find pleasant. It's ok that every single thing about it is not spectacular. Find pleasure in something he does to you, and find pleasure in something you can do for him-or at least find pleasure in giving him pleasure.

                    Communicate with him a lot during the process. Tell him what you like, what you don't, and ask him the same. Let your mind go and just feel it and enjoy.

                    Comment

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