[jonny]

I really don't get it. If he wanted to bang other women. Then he should have never gottin married to you.

It's pretty rediculous that he wants to get with other women, when he has one at home.

i myself would never cheat. But.....are you not having sex with him regularly? Or not at all?

Because if you aren't, then you probably need to start.

[BeautifulMommy]

I really don't get it. If he wanted to bang other women. Then he should have never gottin married to you.

It's pretty rediculous that he wants to get with other women, when he has one at home.

i myself would never cheat. But.....are you not having sex with him regularly? Or not at all?

Because if you aren't, then you probably need to start.

There are men on here?? Or is that a woman called Jonny?

I think many men marry their wives because they love them and want to make a life with just that person. I think they can and will be still attracted to other women. Men with a very healthy and high sex appetite are more prone to this probably. I know whole heartedly that my husband loves me and only me he is super attracted to me (this Ive never even questioned) we have sex daily -every day except when Im on my period, we are soul mates and know this both with all of our hearts...but he is turned on by other hot women. Its just the 'man'/testosterone in him.

I dont think this makes this girls husband a bad man...He is being honest and trying to let her know so that they can work on it together. If he were just some guy who married her and didnt love her then he would just do it or give into it behind her back. Then that is when the heartache really comes in. Being honest and up front about your feelings is a good sign. I hope they can work thru this!

[jonny]

There are men on here?? Or is that a woman called Jonny?

Last time I checked I was one. lol

I think that guys will always be attracted to other women when there married. But they don't need to tell there wives that they want to get with other women. That is just rediculous.

[BeautifulMommy]

Last time I checked I was one. lol

I think that guys will always be attracted to other women when there married. But they don't need to tell there wives that they want to get with other women. That is just rediculous.

Sorry, Im new to this forum and I just assumed only women were here. But thats ok *-)

Why not have a completly open relationship with one another? I would rather have my husband be honest to me about his feelings, even sexual feelings than to hide it from me and possibly act on it in secret.

Also...it can be something you BOTH enjoy *-)

[jonny]

Do you mean open about his feelings? Or both allowing each other to sleep with other people.

I don't think I could ever deal with that myself.

[BeautifulMommy]

Being open about your feelings is one thing. Sleeping with other people is another.

In our case...I just got into women with him. He would never sleep with another person behind my back but we sometimes go down to the beach and have a little fun with another woman. I like it! And he certainly does and it completly controls his umm 'appetite' for other women.

This is not the approach for everyone but after a long time of consideration and talking his feelings etc.. through I decided this is how I wanted to deal with it. Some may do this, some may get therapy with their spouse, some may choose to leave. It is up to the individual couple to figure out what is best for them.

[Fallen1]

.... I think they can and will be still attracted to other women. Men with a very healthy and high sex appetite are more prone to this probably. I know whole heartedly that my husband loves me and only me he is super attracted to me (this Ive never even questioned) we have sex daily -every day except when Im on my period, we are soul mates and know this both with all of our hearts...but he is turned on by other hot women. Its just the 'man'/testosterone in him.

I think just being attracted to another woman is different than being attracted to and wanting to sleep with her. If a guy knows (or thinks) that he will not be happy sleeping with one person once married then he has no business in my opinion getting married.

[BeautifulMommy]

Well that is true. Being attracted to someone and acting on it are different things. If you cant control being with just one person then they shouldnt get married. But being honest and open is good. Sometimes men cant help feeling this way and its good that he is telling her. Maybe they can do something to spice up their life now that she knows he has strong sexual feelings.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

BeautifulMommy, I agree with you completely, honesty is important. Many women will slap their man just because their head unintentionally follows someone when they walk by, it's just human (male) nature - it's healthy. If he was out having sex with women then there's a bit of a problem, but there's no harm in an honest relationship.

On a personal note, I think it's largely religion that has drummed monogamy into us all, rather than us making a concious decision that it's what a relationship has to be. I think a relationship that can transcend physical boundries is probably a stronger one than one which cannot.

I'm a guy too, by the way (in case you didn't already notice haha).

I'll put it this way, over 80% of all married men want to sleep with other women but their wife, and maybe 5% will be honest about this. You're lucky.

As for whether he is ready for what you want him for, that's another question I suppose, personally I think all men have to get a bit of play out of the way before they attach that ball and chain, else after a few years they'll wonder what happened to their life.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Fallen1
I think just being attracted to another woman is different than being attracted to and wanting to sleep with her. If a guy knows (or thinks) that he will not be happy sleeping with one person once married then he has no business in my opinion getting married.

I agree. If you choose to marry someone, you choose to say that's my life long partner, that is who i choose... 9 out of 10, the man therefore is of the opinion that "she is mine" no other man will ever touch her, when he makes this commitment... So, why should she fear that he will? He made a commitment.

Anon
personally I think all men have to get a bit of play out of the way before they attach that ball and chain, else after a few years they'll wonder what happened to their life.

I totally agree, that you sould sow your oats before you marry or you may very well wonder what you missed out on, if, you are that way inclined. There are plenty of love filled marriages however, that did not take this path and married as Virgins and i never hear them complaining in this department, rather how to spice things up.

beautifulmommy

I have been married for almost 5 yrs. and been with him for almost 10. He cheated on me a few years ago. I was completly devastated! I knew he was truely sorry and truely loved me so I stayed and havent regretted it one bit! Our marriage is now stronger.

I have since learned that he has a 'craving' for other women. I now believe that this is natural.

If you cant control being with just one person then they shouldnt get married.

? In one breathe you were devastated... So, it appears that your love ran the course of allowing other women then into your lives, with your involvement.. Yes, being "attracted" to another woman/women is natural i believe, but it was your choice to keep your marriage by involving a third party to satisfy your husbands needs. Not one that all women would do, nor would like to do... Your are happy about it... I hope for ever and that he is content with doing it with you, not without.

Because, in your last paragraph here, you appear to still believe in the one on one marriage.....

I believe that this threader, points more towards your last paragraph... He should have not got married if he wasn't ready to commit...and that's her feelings, and yes, he was open and honest... communication is great, but that's a bit of a kick i think...

CW