[BeautifulMommy]

I agree. If you choose to marry someone, you choose to say that's my life long partner, that is who i choose... 9 out of 10, the man therefore is of the opinion that "she is mine" no other man will ever touch her, when he makes this commitment... So, why should she fear that he will? He made a commitment.



I totally agree, that you sould sow your oats before you marry or you may very well wonder what you missed out on, if, you are that way inclined. There are plenty of love filled marriages however, that did not take this path and married as Virgins and i never hear them complaining in this department, rather how to spice things up.



? In one breathe you were devastated... So, it appears that your love ran the course of allowing other women then into your lives, with your involvement.. Yes, being "attracted" to another woman/women is natural i believe, but it was your choice to keep your marriage by involving a third party to satisfy your husbands needs. Not one that all women would do, nor would like to do... Your are happy about it... I hope for ever and that he is content with doing it with you, not without.

Because, in your last paragraph here, you appear to still believe in the one on one marriage.....

I believe that this threader, points more towards your last paragraph... He should have not got married if he wasn't ready to commit...and that's her feelings, and yes, he was open and honest... communication is great, but that's a bit of a kick i think...

CW

Yes I was devastated for a couple years! During this time I was doing some serious soul searching and disecting my marriage to figure this out. I fully believe that he would never cheat again! Our marriage became like a rock after that happend. We are the absolute best of friends and Keep NOOOOO secrets anymore! Open about anything we feel or do. THat is the key in my opinion to a strong marriage...being totally honest and upfront no matter how afraid you are.

I do still believe in one on one. If the man CANT control his self and be with just his wife then it isnt fair to her to marry her. And I believe that people arent perfect,, they WILL make mistakes. One mistake is definatly forgivable!!! Especially if you truly love the person and know what kind of person they really are. If its some skud that would keep cheating and hurting you then he needs to go...That is different than having a little fun with your sex life just because you add another person to play with.

I happen to have wanted to indulge my husband in this. I know not many women would understand this and even do it but I wanted to say that this was the solution I found. I know he would never have cheated again. He definatly loves me enough and saw had bad I was hurt that he would NEVER even think of doing it again. I have always thought women were attractive and I thought that this was something that we could spice up our life with...and it worked. Now, the first time he was scared to death and backed out of it because he didnt want me to end up regretting it or hurt. He didnt even want to do it at first but I convinced him it was something I wanted to try with him. Now, we have a HOT sex life that is beyond words! And we dont do this all the time...Maybe twice a year....