[MiniVanMan]

Kissing is absolutely wonderful

As a guy, let me just say that kissing is INSANELY fun and a HUGE turn on. Any amount of deep kissing will get me excited. And by excited I mean HARD. Of course, my wife hates to kiss. She'll kiss me briefly, but then pull away. Doesn't like to tongue. It leaves a big hole in my love life.

How can there be passion without kissing??? I don't get it. The feeling of her lips on mine... her tongue swirling up and over and around... the soft breath... the closeness... the smell and taste of her...

Trying to get her to kiss me deeply just doesn't work, because even if she gives it a shot there's no passion behind it. It's all mechanical and she's just waiting for it to end.

And let me say how jealous I am that I don't get to do this:

Sometimes we just lie there with our lips pressed tight and breathe together. We always say we are taking in each other's yin and yang.

And I agree with this completely!

It can be a sensual art form...when it's good, there's nothing more erotic.

So not liking to kiss isn't a guy thing. It can be true for women as well as men. For me, no passionate kissing is one reason (among many) that I'm dissatisfied with my marriage.

[sungoddesschelsy]

yeah... and that is what I am afraid of.
am I wrong to keep asking him to try and please me?

[Falcon Eyes]

Mutual attraction is essential to a great kiss. Without it, all you're doing is pressing your lips together, and you'll leave feeling unfulfilled and disappointed. Kissing is a way to show affection, to let someone know you really like them, and a passionate way to say "I love you." The more feeling there is behind the kiss, the more enjoyable it will be. This is why kissing just anyone isn't really that fun, and definitely isn't a good idea. If you save those strong, passionate kisses for someone you truly have feelings for, your kissing experience will be 100 times more exciting. One of the biggest factors in good kissing is this attraction itself, as opposed to pure technique.

[T-man]

Wow - hold up a second

Hey sungoddesschelsy

First of all I feel this thread has kind of morphed into a discussion on men in general and I don't think that answers your question. I'd like to go back to your specific question because I think comparing relationships is largely useless as every relationship and the state of every relationship is different.

You said that you kiss and it leads to sex.
My question to you is....when kissing leads to sex is there foreplay, does he look after your sexual pleasure and make you orgasm or is he a selfish lover? Are you a selfish lover? If you both are then you have big problems!!! Anyway if it's just him that's a selfish lover then it sounds like he is lazy. When you kiss him he knows your horny and uses it as a way to transition from kissing to sex i.e. his pleasure since he's a selfish lover. It's a nice easy way to get what he wants with the minimum fuss. You need to consider if this is the kind of person you want to be with.

BUT if he does sexually pleasure you and look after you and care for your pleasure then I suppose it's possible that he really doesn't like kissing. Lot's of people don't like certain aspects of sex or intimacy and you need to decide are you happy with the intimacy and love provided via sex in place of kissing. Personally, I don't understand how anybody, girl or boy, couldn't enjoy kissing unless the kssing partner is an absolutely atrocious kisser. is that possible?? lol but hey everyones different.


As for this qs you posed..

am I wrong to keep asking him to try and please me?

Ah, yes! Of course you are! If you're not a selfish lover but one who is considerate of his pleasure as well as your own but he is only interested in his own pleasure, then yes you are wrong to keep asking him. If you have openly and honestly discussed your feelings with him, and that's going further than saying, "I really like when we kiss," and he is ignoring your feelings then stop asking! As hard as it may be to accept, he is probably not right for you, and it may be in you long term interests to find someone else who you are more compatible with.

[sungoddesschelsy]

I would not consider myself a selfish lover... on days we don't have sex he gets oral probably 2-3 times a week, he likes to mess around when I come home for lunch so that results in a quickie for him and hardly anything orgasmic for me but I enjoy it and I love that he's been thinking about me like that all morning. He hardly ever engages in foreplay... and if he does its only for a minute or two until he is ready or I am... That doesn't bother me so much, Don't get me wrong I love it but it's not a deal breaker for me because if has an orgasm before me he'll stay inside me until he's ready again, and be able to orgasm with me. So he does care about my pleasure and I think it excites him.

[GUEST]

well OP, I can say ur doin it wrong. You MUST (and this is important) whilst making out, cup his ballszach. When I make out with my boyfriend lover I always cup his ballszach mostly because he likes it like that. Now, only on speshial occasions, Ill put a finger in teh pooper, but I digress. So yeah, OP, try cupping his ballszach at least!