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Squirting is ruining my sex life

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  • I understand exactly how the OP feels and I'm sorry to say but all of you saying "omg just be proud of it" or "have you spoken to a doctor?"... clearly, you have no idea what you're talking about. Your advice sounds like a skinny person telling a fat person "have you just tried eating less?" ? like, I know you mean well, but unless this is something you actually deal with yourself, I doubt you can understand how she feels.

    Sure, you think it's cool because if/when you do it, it's a once in a while thing, but when it happens EVERY TIME?? and you can't control it? It gets old real fast.

    This is something that has also been happening to me ever since I lost my virginity at 21 (I am now 42). Prior to that when I would masturbate, it did not happen. So I dunno what caused it to start.

    For the most part, the boyfriends I've had in the past have been okay with it and we quickly learned to keep towels near the bed at all times, but for me? Mentally? It sucked. Every time, I feel stressed, like I can't fully enjoy myself. I feel incredibly self-conscious in any position other than missionary because I don't want to "pee on him" or have it just go everywhere. Also, I can't be having sex on the couch or standing up or in weird places... and forget about getting head! Any time a guy gets started down there, I have to quickly tell them to move on.

    It's not about it not feeling good, or thinking he won't like it. Most guys actually do think it's really hot. But that's when it's the first time. Or first 10. After 20 years, I can understand her husband being sick of it, and I can understand the shame and hurt she felt at hearing that, because it's not something we can control. Trust me, if we could, we would 100% choose to orgasm normally. You guys really have no idea... it's such an inconvenience. Even masturbating becomes something you can't really do with any spontaneity.

    Oh and for the record, it doesn't feel like you have to pee? And drinking or not drinking beforehand does not affect it. It still happens even if I go pee just before. It still happens even if I orgasm multiple times in a row. And yes, it happens almost every single time. Often, if I'm with a new guy, I will just try not to come because I can't bear having the awkward conversation beforehand. It's such a mood killer ? it's not fun, guys. It's really not. You think it's a fun quirky thing because it's something you can do once a year as a party trick. But it's not like that with us. We have no on/off switch.

    As for those saying go to the doctor..... there is hardly even any research on the topic, do you seriously think your local obgyn or urologist is gonna be able to help?? *sigh*

    Urethral plugs is literally the only useful suggestion anyone has made on this thread and I'm off to Google that. And the blanket too, (although it doesn't solve the problem and is really expensive).

    Anyhow, it's good that at least now we have spaces to discuss this. For years, when I was younger, I was just embarrassed about this all by myself. Maybe one day it will become so normalized that we won't need to feel like this anymore. But for now, please try to be a bit more considerate...?

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    • Originally posted by QueenOfTheSea View Post
      I understand exactly how the OP feels and I'm sorry to say but all of you saying "omg just be proud of it" or "have you spoken to a doctor?"... clearly, you have no idea what you're talking about. Your advice sounds like a skinny person telling a fat person "have you just tried eating less?" ? like, I know you mean well, but unless this is something you actually deal with yourself, I doubt you can understand how she feels.

      Sure, you think it's cool because if/when you do it, it's a once in a while thing, but when it happens EVERY TIME?? and you can't control it? It gets old real fast.

      This is something that has also been happening to me ever since I lost my virginity at 21 (I am now 42). Prior to that when I would masturbate, it did not happen. So I dunno what caused it to start.

      For the most part, the boyfriends I've had in the past have been okay with it and we quickly learned to keep towels near the bed at all times, but for me? Mentally? It sucked. Every time, I feel stressed, like I can't fully enjoy myself. I feel incredibly self-conscious in any position other than missionary because I don't want to "pee on him" or have it just go everywhere. Also, I can't be having sex on the couch or standing up or in weird places... and forget about getting head! Any time a guy gets started down there, I have to quickly tell them to move on.

      It's not about it not feeling good, or thinking he won't like it. Most guys actually do think it's really hot. But that's when it's the first time. Or first 10. After 20 years, I can understand her husband being sick of it, and I can understand the shame and hurt she felt at hearing that, because it's not something we can control. Trust me, if we could, we would 100% choose to orgasm normally. You guys really have no idea... it's such an inconvenience. Even masturbating becomes something you can't really do with any spontaneity.

      Oh and for the record, it doesn't feel like you have to pee? And drinking or not drinking beforehand does not affect it. It still happens even if I go pee just before. It still happens even if I orgasm multiple times in a row. And yes, it happens almost every single time. Often, if I'm with a new guy, I will just try not to come because I can't bear having the awkward conversation beforehand. It's such a mood killer ? it's not fun, guys. It's really not. You think it's a fun quirky thing because it's something you can do once a year as a party trick. But it's not like that with us. We have no on/off switch.

      As for those saying go to the doctor..... there is hardly even any research on the topic, do you seriously think your local obgyn or urologist is gonna be able to help?? *sigh*

      Urethral plugs is literally the only useful suggestion anyone has made on this thread and I'm off to Google that. And the blanket too, (although it doesn't solve the problem and is really expensive).

      Anyhow, it's good that at least now we have spaces to discuss this. For years, when I was younger, I was just embarrassed about this all by myself. Maybe one day it will become so normalized that we won't need to feel like this anymore. But for now, please try to be a bit more considerate...?
      QueenOfTheSea, welcome to WH Interactive Forums. I understand your frustration with medical professionals when it comes to unusual situations. I have gotten generic responses for those myself and ended up frustrated. The idea of urethral plugs intrigued me so I did a bit of searching. Ones for males were easier to find. Another type of device may be more useful. It is inserted in the outer part of the vagina and puts sideways pressure on the urethra to keep it closed. The question I have with it is "Does the blocking of flow in the urethra cause a feeling of back pressure?" Would that cause an uncomfortable feeling? That device may be useful for receiving oral sex. Best wishes on finding something that works for your situation. I can at least partially appreciate the messiness of the situation but I know it is probably worse than I think.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment


      • In response to Queenofthesea, I have first hand experience with squirting and yes for me, it absolutely feels like I have to pee. Just becasue our experiences are different does not give you the right to invalidate mine with such animosity. I came here to offer support and suggestions from my perspective with what I am dealing with if it does not relate to you then move on.

        Comment

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