[Marknblue]

Thanks. Yes we're really happy, who knew our sex life would change so drastically at this stage in our lives?

It's funny that you mentioned not being that fussed about seeing other women. Given how keen my husband was to have a threesome with another woman, I thought the moment I mentioned opening up the relationship, he'd jump at the chance to find a lover. But he hasn't.

Yesterday I arranged to meet the threesome guy again on my own, at his place this time, which hubby was ok with. The problem is that we can't keep asking my mum to take the kids, so when the guy (who's divorced btw) said his place was available we thought it'd be easier this way.

Anyway after arranging the meeting I wanted to find out if hubby had any plans of his own so I asked him if he had anyone in mind, if he'd signed up to a dating app, or if there were any female colleagues he had his eye on, because it's important to me that things are fair and equal between us, rather than me basically just having an affair with his consent. But he dismissed my question with 'come on, who am I going to meet? I can't go on Tinder, what if someone we know sees my profile?'

Actually I realised he had a point about that. We definitely don't want to go public with our open relationship at this point.

Then he said 'Besides someone needs to stay with the kids' which again I guess is true, but I'd already said we'd take turns with the kids.

The thing is he didn't sound annoyed or resentful, but I still wanted to understand why he didn't want to put himself out there. Turns out that first of all he's really not confident about his chances of finding someone, but also right now he's not that interested. He says he'll keep an open mind when approaching women, but he doesn't think he'll want to start anything any time soon.

I must confess, even though my verbal response to him was something along the lines of 'Ok that's up to you, but promise me you'll remain open to possibilities because I want things to be fair', in reality I found myself breathing a huge sigh of relief, because the thought of him with another woman still makes me really uncomfortable. I know that sounds totally selfish given what I've already done, but that's how I feel.

I know there are arrangements between certain couples that are one-sided, GlasFel it sounds like that's what you're after with your wife and I'm wondering if that's how it's going to be for us. It's not what I envisaged, but that's how it seems to have worked out. I just need to make sure he's actually 100% ok with it and not secretly resenting the situation.

Last night after I came back from meeting the guy I was very affectionate with hubby, I tried to initiate sex at bedtime but he gently pushed me away and asked how things had gone with the guy. At first I was careful not to rub things in his face too much, but then while I was talking about a particularly good orgasm I'd had, I noticed him touching himself under the covers and doing his "aroused" face. So I thought 'well, maybe this is what he wants to hear' so I ramped things up a bit, told him certain spicy details that I'd originally planned on keeping out. I could see this was having a strong effect on him and I must say I got really turned on too saying that stuff.

This was totally new and unexpected but I loved it. It was so hot that not only was he allowing me to say those things right to his face and not getting upset, but he was clearly getting more and more turned on. In the end he sort of lost it, got between my legs and started making love to me really hard. He came quite quickly but I came too, I was so turned on by the whole thing.

He went to sleep straight after and we haven't had a chance to talk about what happened, but I'm actually wondering if it's better not to talk about it at all. Whatever it was that happened, it obviously worked for both of us and I kinda don't want to break the spell by talking about it. Does that make any sense?

I understand you are now being satisfied by your threesome lover. It also sounds like you are concerned that your husband’s needs are not being met. Both are understandable. That being said, the two of you might want to consider “swinging”. You can find couples like yourselves who have similar interests and desires. That way it’s not just you getting her needs met with the “new” guy. It’s the two of you getting each other’s needs met even if it’s not from the other

[jane86]

I understand you are now being satisfied by your threesome lover. It also sounds like you are concerned that your husband’s needs are not being met. Both are understandable. That being said, the two of you might want to consider “swinging”. You can find couples like yourselves who have similar interests and desires. That way it’s not just you getting her needs met with the “new” guy. It’s the two of you getting each other’s needs met even if it’s not from the other

Thanks for the advice. I'd be totally up for swinging at this point, it's something we talked about and I'll probably reintroduce it into the conversation when the time feels right, but right now my husband seems to just want to feed off my own sexual rebirth. I definitely want his needs met and wouldn't want him to become sexually disengaged from me, but if anything right now he's more into me than ever before.

Last night he wanted me to tell him again about the session with the guy on Tuesday night, I'd already told him most of it so I ended up revealing some details that I hadn't planned on telling him. I was slightly apprehensive as it was something that I don't let my husband do to me, so there was a chance he might get offended, but I had a feeling he'd find it a turn-on and I was right. We ended up having sex again, and let me tell you, two nights in a row for us is unheard of, not since before marriage anyway.

So this is working for us right now, but if the novelty wears off, as is perhaps inevitable, hopefully he'll be open to other avenues of discovery.

[GlasFel]

I genuinely wish you the best of luck with it, you've got something so good going on here!

[Marknblue]

Thanks for the advice. I'd be totally up for swinging at this point, it's something we talked about and I'll probably reintroduce it into the conversation when the time feels right, but right now my husband seems to just want to feed off my own sexual rebirth. I definitely want his needs met and wouldn't want him to become sexually disengaged from me, but if anything right now he's more into me than ever before.

Last night he wanted me to tell him again about the session with the guy on Tuesday night, I'd already told him most of it so I ended up revealing some details that I hadn't planned on telling him. I was slightly apprehensive as it was something that I don't let my husband do to me, so there was a chance he might get offended, but I had a feeling he'd find it a turn-on and I was right. We ended up having sex again, and let me tell you, two nights in a row for us is unheard of, not since before marriage anyway.

So this is working for us right now, but if the novelty wears off, as is perhaps inevitable, hopefully he'll be open to other avenues of discovery.

ok. the weird thing is he wanted the threesome originally. now it’s you who is dictating the sexual fantasy and erotic experience. you got your needs met. am i right? exceeded your expectations? when are you going to reciprocate? he still hasn’t had another woman. all you seem to mention is your “wonderful experience” that never would have happened if it wasn’t your husband’s idea. frankly, i don’t think you are really even trying to meet his needs. if you were, you’d invite one of your female friends over so your husband can have his way with her

[jane86]

ok. the weird thing is he wanted the threesome originally. now it’s you who is dictating the sexual fantasy and erotic experience. you got your needs met. am i right? exceeded your expectations? when are you going to reciprocate? he still hasn’t had another woman. all you seem to mention is your “wonderful experience” that never would have happened if it wasn’t your husband’s idea. frankly, i don’t think you are really even trying to meet his needs. if you were, you’d invite one of your female friends over so your husband can have his way with her

I know, you're right. I'm not even going to try and justify my actions because you're absolutely right. If I really wanted to, I could probably find a way to bring another woman into the fold, and that would even things out. Right from the start, I wanted to do this thing for him but the thought of him with another woman made me so jealous. When he agreed to having a man instead, it was a major relief. It wasn't that I wanted another man (at that point, though I do now) but I really didn't want to see him with another woman.

Even now that I have a lover, the fact that he's happy for things to carry on the way they are is such a relief. But I did ask him more than once if we was going to look for a female lover and he keeps saying he doesn't want to. What can I do? If he told me he'd found someone, it would be a bitter pill to swallow, but I'd swallow it. I'd even allow him to bring her over and I'd make myself watch, if he wanted me to. But I'm not going to force that situation, I'll only accept it if it happens.

[Marknblue]

I know, you're right. I'm not even going to try and justify my actions because you're absolutely right. If I really wanted to, I could probably find a way to bring another woman into the fold, and that would even things out. Right from the start, I wanted to do this thing for him but the thought of him with another woman made me so jealous. When he agreed to having a man instead, it was a major relief. It wasn't that I wanted another man (at that point, though I do now) but I really didn't want to see him with another woman.

Even now that I have a lover, the fact that he's happy for things to carry on the way they are is such a relief. But I did ask him more than once if we was going to look for a female lover and he keeps saying he doesn't want to. What can I do? If he told me he'd found someone, it would be a bitter pill to swallow, but I'd swallow it. I'd even allow him to bring her over and I'd make myself watch, if he wanted me to. But I'm not going to force that situation, I'll only accept it if it happens.

must be nice. and convenient for you. i guess you get to have your cake and eat it too! lucky you!! too bad it’s mostly about your pleasure and comparing your husband to your lover. you get to choose which one YOU want. i sure hope it’s all you want. but then again. it’s you, you , you.

[jns]

jane86, I know that we have got only one side of the story but I don't see a reason to judge your actions. The only caution is that since your husband is seeming to take the situation well, don't add too many elements at this time. If he is not interested in having another woman partner at this time, let it go. The idea that there has to be one to one correspondence is an artificial constraint. Some times it is a good idea, other times it is not needed. It does sound like he enjoys the newly invigorated you, though.

[jane86]

jane86, I know that we have got only one side of the story but I don't see a reason to judge your actions. The only caution is that since your husband is seeming to take the situation well, don't add too many elements at this time. If he is not interested in having another woman partner at this time, let it go. The idea that there has to be one to one correspondence is an artificial constraint. Some times it is a good idea, other times it is not needed. It does sound like he enjoys the newly invigorated you, though.

Thanks for not judging. God knows I judge myself constantly, I know that from what I've written so far I must come across as a selfish, uncaring person but there's a lot I'm not saying because it's too complicated and boring. Like my daily struggle with guilt, the constant fear that this whole thing is going to blow in our faces, that my husband will suddenly snap out of the altered state of mind he's in at the moment, realise what he's done and not only call the whole thing off, but break up with me for allowing it to happen in the first place.

I'm also constantly battling with my own sexual greed. This sexual discovery has been invigorating as you say, but the trouble is that it's really, really addictive. My lover has a very high sex drive, even higher than mine. And he's made it clear that his door is always open, he's not seeing anyone else at the moment so I'm welcome to visit any time I want.

I work from home but right now there isn't much work for me, so apart from doing the housework and getting the groceries in, I have a lot of free hours during the day. The temptation to just get in the car and go visit my lover (who also works from home by the way) is almost overwhelming at times. The worst part is that my husband said I can go whenever I want, he'd prefer to know but it's entirely up to me. But I don't know if he's being 100% honest with me. I keep thinking 'what if he's just testing me? What if he actually wants to see how often I sleep with this guy if I'm given free reign?'

So I stop myself going as much as I'd like to, but it's torture. So far, every single moment I've spent with my lover has been utter bliss. And I know we're at the "honeymoon stage" as people call it, eventually I'll get used to him and it won't feel so special. But so far there's no sign of the excitement wearing off. I've seen him four times, twice with my husband present and twice on my own, and each time it's been better and better. I'm learning so much about sex and about my own ability to give and receive pleasure, and I'm still hoping that I'll be able to pass all this knowledge onto my husband, if he ever allows me to. Right now he seems to just want to hear about it and touch himself.

There's so much I've done with my lover that I'd never done before, and I'd love to be able to tell my husband, in case he wants to try it, but at the same time I'm so afraid of how he's going to react if he finds out I've done this stuff with someone else, when for years he's been asking for it and I've not allowed it.

In the early part of our relationship we tried anal a couple of times and I absolutely hated it, it was just painful and I couldn't see the point of it, when vaginal penetration felt so much better. So I made it clear it wasn't for me, and even more recently when we were trying to spice things up and he tried to suggest it, I I told him I wasn't interested.

But when my lover asked if he could do that I was already so aroused, I felt like I wanted him to do it. I was also curious to see if it would feel better with him. And now I'm a convert. Who knew it could feel so good? Who knew I could achieve orgasm from anal penetration? It's such a revelation, I feel like I need to share it with my husband, but how do I go about telling him about it, after denying him for so long?

As for oral, I do it sometimes with my husband but it's usually very brief and mainly a lead-up to penetration. I know what some people will say, 'can't you just do it as a treat for your husband like other women do?' and I guess this is another thing where I've been really selfish, but the truth is I never particularly enjoyed doing it to him. Once when we were young he got carried away and came in my mouth without warning me. I'd never allowed him to do that, so it took me by surprise, I ended up swallowing some of it and I was so disgusted and so angry with him, it caused one of the worst arguments we've ever had. It nearly ended our relationship. I felt used and betrayed, in hindsight maybe I overreacted but I wasn't very sexually adventurous back then (how things change...)

So I think the reason I never did it for very long was that I didn't want to risk him losing control and accidentally finishing in my mouth.

Now, I want to preempt any criticism by saying that my lover, as someone who used to swing with his ex-wife and still has casual encounters through dating sites, is usually very careful when it comes to protection. Even so, he gets himself screened regularly for STIs and even showed my husband his most recent test results when they initially met to discuss things.

On our two threesomes he always used a condom, so even when he came inside me there was no risk. When I first went to see him on my own, we started with a condom, he came once inside it, we then later resumed and he wore another condom but didn't cum. We stopped to rest for a bit and he took it off, then we were cuddling and kissing for a bit and I felt the urge to go down on him. He tried to stop me and said he was going to put on another condom, but I really didn't want the rubber in my mouth, I wanted to feel and taste his skin.

I told him that hubby and I have never been with anyone else and we're clean, and he said 'oh I know that, I'm saying it for you'. It was nice that he was concerned about my safety, but we'd seen his test results and although I knew there was still a slight risk, I felt that on balance it was a risk worth taking. I'm sure I'll get judged for it, but it felt right at the time and I'm not regretting it. My husband had said 'do whatever feels right with him' and this felt right.

By the way, I never planned on letting him finish in my mouth. I was just going to do what I do with my husband, get him hard that way and then ride him. But I never expected to get as aroused as I did. The skin on his penis felt and tasted so different from my husband's, and he had such a wonderful way of voicing his appreciation of what I was doing, it made me feel really good. He was holding my hair and sometimes pulling it harder, which hurt a bit but in a good way, like he was communicating his arousal through his hands as well as his voice. There was also this intoxicating aroma coming from his pubic area, which I guess was from the orgasms I'd had on top of him earlier. Somehow smelling my own vaginal fluids on him really went to my head, I felt ridiculously turned on and I reached down to touch myself. I gave a few strokes and started to cum, and at the same time felt his penis throbbing in my mouth. He tried to pull my head away, but I was already mid-orgasm and found that I didn't want to pull away, I wanted him to cum in my mouth. I signalled this by pushing my head back down and he gave up struggling and let himself cum.

It was incredible to feel myself cum, and at the same time feel his semen shooting out inside my mouth. He's very vocal with his pleasure which I love, he was screaming, grunting and wriggling underneath me and his stuff kept gushing out. I began to taste it and incredibly I found I wasn't disgusted in the slightest. It tasted how I remembered it, which is the the same way it smells, so that in itself wasn't a big shock. The shock was that I found myself wanting to swallow it, and I did. It was only the second time in my life I'd ingested semen, but it couldn't have been more different from the first time. There was no disgust, no gag reflex, it felt natural and loving, it felt like a special treat I was giving the man who'd been pleasuring me for hours. It just felt right.

For me it was another life changing moment and I wish I could do that for my husband. But if I did, I know what he would think. He'd immediately figure out that I'm doing it to him because I've already done it with my lover. It would be like admitting I'd kept this secret from him.

To be clear, I did confess to my husband that I'd given the guy a bj without a condom, and that I'd subsequently also had penetration with him without protection. He kept asking me for more details while he masturbated over it and I'd run out of things to say, so I took a risk and told him about taking off the condom in the hope that he'd find it a turn-on. Which he absolutely did. But for all the reasons I already explained, I didn't feel that I could tell him about the swallowing, so I told him I let the guy finish on my boobs.

I don't like the dishonesty, but I know that to confess to the swallowing and the anal would really hurt his feelings. Why would I do that to him? I'd rather deal with my own guilt and tell him other stuff that I know he can deal with. Or am I just digging a deeper and deeper hole of deceit that I'll never be able to climb out of? These are the fears that go through my mind all the time at the moment.

[GlasFel]

OMG Jane, what you just described... so **** hot!
Can I say something? Obviously I don't know your OH, maybe he's completely different from me. But from what you told us about him, it seems to be that he's developing the same sort of cuckold fetish I - and lots of other men - have.
If that's the case, I really don't think that telling him about your anal and oral escapades would cause any major issues. If he masturbates while you recount your small acts of infidelity, like taking off your bull's condom without your OH's consent, that shows he's getting off on your transgressions. The swallowing is just a step up, but not even such a major one at this point. Maybe you're making too big a deal of it in your head.
If you're worried about confessing retrospectively, wait until the next session with the guy, do it again, then describe it to your OH as if it's the first time it's happened. Honestly, I think you'll blow his mind. And imagine how happy you'll make him when you do the same thing for him. Think about it: he's masturbating as you tell him what you did, you can see he's about to explode and you go down and swallow his load, then tell him it tastes even better than your bull's. If he complains after that, I'll eat my hat!

[jane86]

OMG Jane, what you just described... so **** hot!
Can I say something? Obviously I don't know your OH, maybe he's completely different from me. But from what you told us about him, it seems to be that he's developing the same sort of cuckold fetish I - and lots of other men - have.
If that's the case, I really don't think that telling him about your anal and oral escapades would cause any major issues. If he masturbates while you recount your small acts of infidelity, like taking off your bull's condom without your OH's consent, that shows he's getting off on your transgressions. The swallowing is just a step up, but not even such a major one at this point. Maybe you're making too big a deal of it in your head.
If you're worried about confessing retrospectively, wait until the next session with the guy, do it again, then describe it to your OH as if it's the first time it's happened. Honestly, I think you'll blow his mind. And imagine how happy you'll make him when you do the same thing for him. Think about it: he's masturbating as you tell him what you did, you can see he's about to explode and you go down and swallow his load, then tell him it tastes even better than your bull's. If he complains after that, I'll eat my hat!

You really think so? I don't know, maybe you're right but I'm so worried about it. My husband is taking the kids to the cinema and I'm going to see my lover for a couple of hours, so I could do it. Last time I was there I really wanted to go down on him but I didn't do it because I knew I'd end up swallowing again, and then I'd have to lie about it to my husband. But maybe I could say he came in my mouth unexpectedly, I swallowed some of it and it wasn't so bad? And if my husband is ok about it, maybe next time I say I did it on purpose and swallowed the whole lot?

I don't know, I'm tempted but I'l see how I feel. Thanks for the advice anyway.