[CHANDLERS WISH]

Why is the word "" being removed from my post???

What ever that word is, it is obviously one that WH edits out of any posts, use an alternative, or b...t.h, do it this way.

Bottom line is, there is a reason in your subconcious, perhaps he is not giving you the attention you want, perhaps your desiring passion, and excitement and not getting it.

The question is, can you get these things from him.

If the answer is NO, then as stated, walk... It's not fair on him and i admire your thoughts about your child, certainly not fair on them, but also, silly for yourself, and reputation in life.

CW

[Sweet Lady]

Bottom line is, there is a reason in your subconcious, perhaps he is not giving you the attention you want, perhaps your desiring passion, and excitement and not getting it.

The question is, can you get these things from him.

If the answer is NO, then as stated, walk... It's not fair on him .....
CW

I agree with CW. Leave him alone if he does not have what you need or desire. You are hurting him beyond your imagination. There is nothing in this world that hurts like you are doing to him right now.
In the movie "Why did I get married?" (I don't know if i'm allowed to share movies here - sorry if I am not - or you'll just block it out). They talk of the 80/20 rule - 80 is what you already have, 20 is what you are after outside your relationship. The 20 is so attractive and exciting, but last only for a short period. The 80 is meaningful, valuable and can be made exiting again. So why leave the 80 you have, for 20 that will vanish into thin air?

Bottom line, you made a commitment to someone and you are failing to keep it. Be thoughtful and release him to someone who will treat his feelings and life with total respect and honour. You can then have the life you want too.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

We have a ridiculous censor script here.

Maz, I appreciate that you have needs that are not being met, and that is not a crime. Living the sham of a marriage with some guy, so that you can feel a bit more financially secure while you're running around getting boned at every opportunity is. Not only could this have severe repercussions on your kid, but as I see it if you divorce then you're the one with the "smoking gun", and your rights might reflect that.

You have no justification for remaining in this relationship. For what possible reason could you even want to. As for wanting hubby to find out, you're just opening that old chestnut where he might go and get in a fight with the guy(s), innocent men will be hurt because you don't like keeping your legs closed.

[Fallen1]

Bottom line, you made a commitment to someone and you are failing to keep it. Be thoughtful and release him to someone who will treat his feelings and life with total respect and honour. You can then have the life you want too.

I couldn't have said it better.

[maz33]

We have a ridiculous censor script here.

Maz, I appreciate that you have needs that are not being met, and that is not a crime. Living the sham of a marriage with some guy, so that you can feel a bit more financially secure while you're running around getting boned at every opportunity is. Not only could this have severe repercussions on your kid, but as I see it if you divorce then you're the one with the "smoking gun", and your rights might reflect that.

You have no justification for remaining in this relationship. For what possible reason could you even want to. As for wanting hubby to find out, you're just opening that old chestnut where he might go and get in a fight with the guy(s), innocent men will be hurt because you don't like keeping your legs closed.

Ouch!! Harsh but true. To be honest though I think he'd be more hurt if I left him. How about the saying "what you don't know can't hurt you"?? I just don't know what to do for the best but am obviously searching for passion and excitement that he can't give me... I can't believe this is me I'm talking about. I do feel ashamed but at the time (of "getting boned") I feel so good.

[Fallen1]

Ouch!! Harsh but true. To be honest though I think he'd be more hurt if I left him. How about the saying "what you don't know can't hurt you"?? I just don't know what to do for the best but am obviously searching for passion and excitement that he can't give me... I can't believe this is me I'm talking about. I do feel ashamed but at the time (of "getting boned") I feel so good.

You're playing with fire. You don't think he'll find out when you come home with a STD and give it to him? It's one thing to make choices that affect your own life but when you are making choices that can affect someone else's it's a whole different story.

Sure he'd be hurt but I think he will appreciate the fact that you let him go over doing what your doing.

[SinisterUrge]

Maybe I am, as someone said, looking for a more compatible person who will satisfy me enough to not want sex with anyone else... I'd like that.

Spoken like a true addict.

"Just one more fix and everything will be alright....."

[SorridLives]

Since turning 30 I have become so much more interested in sex than ever before but over the past year I think I have actually developed an addiction to it. I think about having sex with almost every man I see (within reason), and when I go out for a drink, if possible I will end up having sex with someone. I'm not proud of this but I can't seem to stop it. I'm married and have a 5 year old child but I still want sex with strangers. I try to avoid sex with my hubby as I don't feel any passion with him. If he was willing to have an open relationship that would be great but I know he wouldn't. Anyone else in the same situation?

I would suggest therapy. However, it does sound like the marriage is probably over. I guess there is a slight chance that you are upset about something and repressing it and your feelings, so that is why I would suggest therapy.

[maz33]

I would suggest therapy. However, it does sound like the marriage is probably over. I guess there is a slight chance that you are upset about something and repressing it and your feelings, so that is why I would suggest therapy.

Thanks for recognising that there is an underlying problem and that I am not just a 'slapper' (although I am acting like one at the moment). I have had problems with depression all my life and have been addicted to drugs and alcohol- I haven't used drugs for a long long time now (hubby rescued me from that life) but still have issues with alcohol. I am actually on a waiting list for psychotherapy now. Sometimes I'm not sure if I use alcohol now as an excuse to end up having sex, or whether the alcohol addiction is the root cause of it. During the day I am an ordinary, respectable mum; everyone knows me and likes me as I am a good person really. It's like I have the devil and angel on my back situation. Anyway sorry for babbling...boy do I need therapy!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your husband sounds like a worthy man, assisting you with depression and drugs.

Alcohol, if not in the right mind set, can fuel flirting but i think, perhaps, it's an excuse as well, if you get caught, something you can blame it on, especially considering you had a previous addiction...

Why don't you stop going out at night, without him, or drink at home around him, see whether chemistry is there, from the alcohol whilst in his presence.

At least you can see whether you've gained another addiction, or excuse, or whether it really is making you feel a tad, um, horny.

But certainly if you have suffered from addictions and depressions you do need help as SorridLives stated..

Can't hurt to not go out for a week and try.

Sure, you can.

Plus, you can drink in front of him, play some music say you feel like dancing, and coupled with that a drink, see what happens with him.

CW