[louise allen]

vibrators

i am single and glad of it, my last boyfriend was a waster and a slob.

since i ditched him several years ago, i invested in some vibrators, i got theme from a catalogue called Pabo, it has a very nice range of sex toys.

i have learned that if you use a vibrator too often you cannot climax.

[WildChild]

So you stomped on me in another thread about men watching porn to get off....

But you can use a vibrator when you're alone?

Yes, it'sa double standard. I think we went through some of this on another thread... Yes there are a lot of double standards and most of them do and have worked against women for generations. You aren't the norm dear, for waiting to pleasure the woman you love, showing her how much you value her and for appreciating her. Truth is very few men do so. Very few are willing to take the time, make the effort to learn a woman's body, to pleasure her, physically or emotionally.

While it's true that there are a lot of women who don't know their own bodies or how to pleasure themselves, let alone share the experience, who created and for generations maintained a posistion of virtually absolute control over women and their bodies andin many parts of the world still have it? For the most part women are still feeling their way (oh that was an unintended pun LOL) toward finding sexual pleasure and satisfaction. As a responsive, orgasmic, woman I can attest that very few men can handle that either. They tend to want what they want, when they want -too bad for you. In many cases it seems to be as much or more about control as it is about sexual satisfaction or pleasure.

We humans are fumbling along trying to create a new way of interacting but we have so much old baggage and drama and poor scripts and weird expectations, that it's going to take some time. It also needs conscious effort and awareness. We live in societies that seem to be dedicated to reducing everything to a sound bite or an advert. I see different things happening; men get sucked into porn and will literally shut themselves off from the woman in their life, physically and emotionally. Many times women are dealing with a control issue and will raise a protest even though they have been unwilling to share and participate in what could be considered normal and healthy sex. But in many cases the woman is sexually ready, willing and even eager - he's just shutting her out and of course she will protest. There are women who can pleasure themselves but for some reason can't share that with a partner. Many men make that darned difficult to do because they set up judgemental, even critical situation. I've dealt with that, it is harmful and then the woman has that to overcome too.

I see your point but if a woman is at least reaching orgasm, willing to touch herself and learn something of her body - that's a good thing. What needs to happen is comunication and willingness on the part of the man in her life to learn to pleasure her, not to tell her how she should be pleasured. I think you are far, far more aware than most, truth is that is far too rare.

[AdamAndEve]

Vibrators can be such a fun way to explore your own sexuality and spice up your love life with a partner. Vibrators are useful with a male partner as well! But yes, no sex toy can ever really truly reproduce the wonderful sensations of the real thing

[Texasred]

Y What needs to happen is comunication and willingness on the part of the man in her life to learn to pleasure her...

My girlfriend has taken my hand and placed it where she wanted it, and used my finger to pleasure herself. Great non-verbal communication.
That was not only a learning experience, it was a huge turn-on!

[Hopeless Dork]

I rarely crave vibrator sensations, they are good... but just a bit TOO much.. the times I've used one I generally do it with the vibrations set to OFF, and just use it for the penetration. But I'm pretty lazy, and don't care to dig it out when I'm in the mood...I'll just use a hand :P

Me and my boyfriend play with toys sometimes just for some fun, a lil finger vibe on the outside while hes in me and that way is real nice for some reason the vibrations on the outside while being penetrated by him make for uniquely pleasurable experience...

But my favorite way to come is on my guys penis, theres nothing I've felt that even compares to that sensation.

[Mes T]

I love my little vibrator, gotta say, never tried the ones that penetrate you and don't think I'd want to!

[Futureboy]

So you stomped on me in another thread about men watching porn to get off....

But you can use a vibrator when you're alone?

OTYA I admire the fact you are even trying to argue this on a womens forum

My recommendation is a 'rabbit' or 'rabbit' derivitive penetration and clit stimulation in one. Absolute guarenteed OOOOOOOOO

I bought a friend a little vibrating octupus for the bath, she loves it (post fun is clean). It doesn't look like a vibrator you could leave it by the bath and no one would know

My recommendation is double penetration one vibrator and one penis.
Orafice to suit very naughty and very nice. Lie on you front small vibrator anally and penis penitration from behind. His pelvic bone will move the vibrator in and out by itself. Lube Lube Lube. You need to be hygene aware for this.

Or vice versa

Enjoy

[PJhavinfunagain]

I'm almost 40 and just got my first vibrator a few months ago. I now have a small collection that I love. DH is wayyyyyyy better but sometimes not available. I feel this exploration is helping to keep up my sex drive and my DH is very happy about that!

[Hopeless Dork]

I think where the double standard women being frustrated at their SO's masturbation to porn, while still masturbating themselves stems from the fact that generally, the mores sex a woman has ... the more she wants.

A woman that masturbates often is almost always ready and willing to have sex with their partner. Sex is more in their mind, and so their desire is increased... while men seem to (some guys at least) Have a certain amount of sexual energy to spend, and if its spent on porn and masturbation... sometimes there is none to spare for their S.O.

A woman that masturbates, with or without toys.. is more likely to orgasm from sex than a woman who doesn't. While of course that isn't always the case... it seems a lot of women that come here and talk about not enjoying sex with their partners also express that they don't masturbate either.

So it seems generally that when a female is comfortable with her sexuality and masturbating it works to the benefit of her partner. And when a man closes off and uses porn and masturbates and has no interest in sex with his partner...it obviously doesn't bestow any benefits on their partner and can pull couples apart.

Also, I am not saying that is fair. Of course both partners should be allowed to express their sexuality with themselves equally as well as with their partners... but I think I understand the double standard of a woman being hurt at her partner masturbating to porn and not interested in sex with her... while still masturbating using toys.

[Futureboy]

I think where the double standard women being frustrated at their SO's masturbation to porn, while still masturbating themselves stems from the fact that generally, the mores sex a woman has ... the more she wants.

A woman that masturbates often is almost always ready and willing to have sex with their partner. Sex is more in their mind, and so their desire is increased... while men seem to (some guys at least) Have a certain amount of sexual energy to spend, and if its spent on porn and masturbation... sometimes there is none to spare for their S.O.

A woman that masturbates, with or without toys.. is more likely to orgasm from sex than a woman who doesn't. While of course that isn't always the case... it seems a lot of women that come here and talk about not enjoying sex with their partners also express that they don't masturbate either.

So it seems generally that when a female is comfortable with her sexuality and masturbating it works to the benefit of her partner. And when a man closes off and uses porn and masturbates and has no interest in sex with his partner...it obviously doesn't bestow any benefits on their partner and can pull couples apart.

Also, I am not saying that is fair. Of course both partners should be allowed to express their sexuality with themselves equally as well as with their partners... but I think I understand the double standard of a woman being hurt at her partner masturbating to porn and not interested in sex with her... while still masturbating using toys.

I disagree my experiance is if I masterbate or have sex more the more I am able to have. Where the difference may be is the is a physical limit to what a man can have above his currently daily norm (if he masterbates twice a day and has sex once a day he cannot physically do more than 3 or 4 times a day) Remember a man needs to cum (even just a little) to orgasm, which is a function of the prductivity of the testees.

What I do agree is masturbastion increases a women's sex drive. Men just have to transfer the masterbation energy to sex. So if you need to train your man manage his expectation to when he will have sex. A man may time his masterbation so he no overly excited (eg. masterbating the morning before a 'big night')

just my opinion