[newhere808]

Here's my take, if your using things like this because that's your kink, then so be it, to each his/her own. However using something like this for the practical application of literally controlling your man is right along the lines of using a shock collar on a dog and will yeild a similar result, loyalty out of necessity, not desire.

If you feel you need something like this to rein in your husbands/bf urges (especially if he doesn't act on them unless with you) that says a lot about what you actually feel for the man, and it says a lot about your self. Ultimately if a guy allows this done it is on him, but I would find even being asked this outside of bedroom play to be insulting.

[kira]

*uses an electric collar on a dog* Not a discussion for this forum but I can't resist... Properly used they are a good training aid but their point should not be to cause pain. Some dogs just zone out very easily and in particular hunting breeds. No amount of training will allow voice or whistle to penetrate where as physical sensation does. A collar is a reminder like any other attempts to distract them with noise, voice, or touch. Plus on windy days sometimes I just can't get even a whistle to carry far enough out here. It does somewhat apply to this thread since it all depends how you use and perceive the item. People have too many misconceptions or think the worst instead of seeing the actual application of something.

I do sometimes find it amusing and arousing to sexually frustrate my husband for awhile. Not long but occasionally for awhile. I probably wouldn't go so far as a chastity device even if he agreed. We laughed at the various ones while looking through sex toys on a site that leans towards bdsm. His answer was pretty much no way in . Beyond not wanting to wear one yourself I don't see why there is so much vehemence for the idea though. So long as the guy actually agreed to wear it and is not being forced in to it even mentally/emotionally I don't see what the problem is. Like I said it's a bit arousing to sexually frustrate him and even guys have said they found benefits both with sex and beyond it. If that's what it takes to keep your mind off sex so you can work and all it does is improve your relationship then it's a great idea.

[newhere808]

*uses an electric collar on a dog* Not a discussion for this forum but I can't resist... Properly used they are a good training aid but their point should not be to cause pain. Some dogs just zone out very easily and in particular hunting breeds. No amount of training will allow voice or whistle to penetrate where as physical sensation does. A collar is a reminder like any other attempts to distract them with noise, voice, or touch. Plus on windy days sometimes I just can't get even a whistle to carry far enough out here. It does somewhat apply to this thread since it all depends how you use and perceive the item. People have too many misconceptions or think the worst instead of seeing the actual application of something.

I do sometimes find it amusing and arousing to sexually frustrate my husband for awhile. Not long but occasionally for awhile. I probably wouldn't go so far as a chastity device even if he agreed. We laughed at the various ones while looking through sex toys on a site that leans towards bdsm. His answer was pretty much no way in . Beyond not wanting to wear one yourself I don't see why there is so much vehemence for the idea though. So long as the guy actually agreed to wear it and is not being forced in to it even mentally/emotionally I don't see what the problem is. Like I said it's a bit arousing to sexually frustrate him and even guys have said they found benefits both with sex and beyond it. If that's what it takes to keep your mind off sex so you can work and all it does is improve your relationship then it's a great idea.

The collar analogy popped into my head first, as a dog person there are much better ways to get a dog to obey you that don't require such a method of "control", and I feel the same way about the male chastity device and loyalty in relationsips.

I did say that if it's a kink then so be it, but I still think that using it to control urges is odd, especially if your partner is asking you wear one out of concern for "her property". Far be it for me to insult anyones method of foreplay/excitement, but asking your partner to wear it to keep his mind out of the gutter is odd, and in my opinion a mistake. If you cannot treat your guy like an adult, why are you keeping him around?

[Explorer44]

This would not be anything I would want to have a man experience...After all, I do not expect him to ask ME to wear something like that so why should I ask him?

I find the thought disrespectful to his manhood and masculinity.

[dog]

I believe it comes down to lust. Instead of thinking of other woman you fantasize about your wife if she becomes the gatekeeper. If she is allowed to decide when the man gets 'his' it provides the male with incentive to chase her. It's like dating all over again.

It is easy to get in a rut when you take pleasure in things mostly for yourself ie male masturbation. I can agree with the premise of reserving your climax for your partners benefit. I think Kama sutra has something on this but sans the tacky toys.

[Guest]

"I do sometimes find it amusing and arousing to sexually frustrate my husband for awhile" Don't like this or any control of the other even if it's consenting. It's open to abuse/control. But whatever floats your own boat.

[stressed]

Such things look creepy and inhuman to me. Unless we're talking about special occasions (i.e. what can one call 'kinky').

But each to their own.

If a man needs a chastity device to control his urges then he's no better than an animal. If a woman needs her man to wear one because she's afraid, she's no better either.

[Guest]

Spot on stressed. It should always be about trust. But if this is just a game to play, then nothing wrong with that unless it gets serious.

[sarah-jameson]

Spot on stressed. It should always be about trust. But if this is just a game to play, then nothing wrong with that unless it gets serious.

Thomas, it can be a game and still be serious. The opposite of fun isn't seriousl it's solemn.

Male chastity is poorly understood in the main, chiefly because most of the people who write about it on blogs and forums are posting inane fantasies as being gospel truth.

A good example, and I've seen references to it on this thread, is the notion of "forced chastity". There's no such thing. There's hardly a woman alive strong enough to put a chastity device on her man unless he consents, and there's not a chastity device anywhere he couldn't remove in just a few minutes with the kind of tools you'll probably find in any man's garage.

Another good example is the idea it'll stop a man looking at porn (it won't - rather the reverse, actually); yet another is that it's going to "enforce fidelity"... again, nonsense.

Yet another example is it's inextricably linked with female domination and male submission - again, this is a myth. My husband, John, and I have played this game for 2 1/2 years, and there's absolutely nothing submissive about him or dominant about me. We simply enjoy the fiction that I "control" his orgasms.

The vast majority of couples playing with male chastity do reaslise it is just a game, and if you've ever been teased by a woman, then you've engaged in it yourself already (it's all just a matter of style and degree).

Unfortunately, most of what you'll read (like from PJC earlier in the thread) is just silly. This small but very vocal and imaginative minority is not representative of the kink as it's more widely practiced.

Sarah

[Guest]

Sarah, if you want to indulge in this with a willing partner that's up to you. I prefer the views of CW, DANCINTX and ALICAT. Play games if you like but don't play with trust. If you can't trust your guy, get rid. I like only to climax with my partner, but sometimes she just doesn't feel like it. What would I do, always be frustrated??? You do what you want but you'll find yourself in a minority. Anyway, I don't think you addressed the question as to how often your partner needs sex. Are you saying you'd unlock the device every time he needs satisfaction? Even if that were every day? Hmm methinks not. I can't help feeling the important word in all this is control not chastity. If you want a chastity device come over here to Warwick Castle nearby and get one!