Sex Frequency Among Homosexuals (Gay And Lesbian)

About 23% of gay men report always having sex more than 2 times each week compared to just 10% of lesbians who report doing the same.
split screen image featuring a set of bar graphs on the left depicting that among gay men, 28% report usually having sex twice per week and 23% report always having sex twice per week, compared to lesbians, 25% of whom report usually having sex twice per week and 10% reporting that they always have sex twice per week, with a photograph of a Black lesbian couple on the right laying together against a pillow with one of them holding a book titled queer intentions
Updated:November 2023

About 23% of gay men report that they “always” have sex more than twice per week, while 10% of lesbians report doing the same. [1]

Key Statistics To Know:

  • About 23% of men who have sex with other men (MSM) report “always” having sex more than twice per week, compared to 10% of women who have sex with other women (WSW). [1]
  • About 8% of MSM report “never” having sex more than twice per week, compared to 11% of WSW. [1]
  • 18.9% of men who have sex with other men reported having sex with their main partner between 52 and 155 times in the previous year. [2]
  • 2.44% of women who have sex with other women report having sex once per day, although 20.66% report desiring sex at that frequency. [3]
  • 21.37% of WSW report having sex less than once per month and only 0.84% report desiring sex at that frequency. [3]

In this article, we’ll explore how frequently same-sex couples (gay men and lesbian women) have sexual activity within a relationship and/or with casual partners.

Twice-Weekly Sex Frequency Between Gay Couples

bar graph on how often gay couples have sex, depicting that among males in a same-sex relationship who were asked how often they engage in sex more than 2 times per week, about 8% said never, about 17% said hardly ever, about 24% said occasionally, about 28% said usually, and about 23% said always

  • Among men in same-sex relationships who were asked how frequently they had sex more than twice per week [1]:
    • About 8% reported “never”
    • About 17% reported “hardly ever”
    • About 24% reported “occasionally”
    • About 28% reported “usually”
    • About 23% reported “always”

On average, men in same-sex relationships tend to have sex more frequently than other types of pairings.

A majority of men in same-sex relationships have sex more than twice a week at least occasionally, while over half do so usually or always.

Partnered And Casual Sex Among Gay Men

bar graph depicting that among men who have sex with other men, 19.7% report doing so more than 156 times per year, 18.9% report doing so 52 to 155 times per year, 20.9% report doing so 36 to 51 times per year, and 20.3% report doing so 24 to 35 times per year

  • 38% of men who have sex with other men (MSM) reported that their last sexual partner was a casual one, compared to 62% who reported that their last partner was their main partner. [2]
  • Men who have sex with other men are 2-3 times more likely to report having concurrent partnerships (multiple sex partners) compared to heterosexual men. [4]
  • 19.7% of men who have sex with other men (MSM) reported having sex with their main sexual partner more than 156 times in the previous year, compared to 5.1% who reported doing the same with a casual partner. [2]
  • 18.9% of MSM reported having sex with their main partner between 52 and 155 times in the previous year, compared to 2% who reported doing the same with a casual partner. [2]
  • 20.9% of MSM reported having sex with their main partner 36 to 51 times in the previous year, compared to 18.5% who reported doing the same with a casual partner. [2]
  • 20.3% of MSM reported having sex with their main sexual partner between 24 and 35 times in the previous year, compared to 45.3% who reported doing the same with a casual partner. [2]

While casual sex can be common among men who have sex with men, having a committed relationship still tends to result in higher sexual frequency.

Simply having a partner potentially available results in more sex!

It would be interesting to compare these numbers to heterosexual men, heterosexual women, or women who have sex with women, though I am not aware of any such study at the time of this writing.

Twice-Weekly Sex Frequency Between Lesbian Couples

bar graph on how often lesbians have sex, depicting that among females in a same-sex relationship who were asked how often they engage in sex more than 2 times per week, about 11% said never, about 24% said hardly ever, about 30% said occasionally, about 25% said usually, and about 10% said always

  • When women in a same-sex relationship were asked how frequently they had sex more than 2 times per week [1]:
    • About 11% reported “never”
    • About 24% reported “hardly ever”
    • About 30% reported “occasionally”
    • About 25% reported “usually”
    • About 10% reported “always”

A majority of women in same-sex relationships tend to at least occasionally have sex twice a week or more, though still with less frequency than men in same-sex relationships.

Actual (And Desired) Sex Frequency Among Lesbians

bar graph depicting that among queer women who have sex with other women, 1.25% report having sex more than once per day; 2.44% report having sex once per day; 28.78% report having sex multiple times per week; 14.56% report having sex once per week; 22.88% report having sex multiple times per month; and 8.72% report having sex once per month

  • 1.25% of women who have sex with other women (WSW) report having sex more than once per day, despite 15.2% desiring sex at that frequency. [3]
  • 2.44% of WSW report having sex once per day, although 20.66% report desiring sex at that frequency. [3]
  • 28.78% of women who have sex with other women report having sex multiple times per week, while 51.89% report desiring sex at that frequency. [3]
  • 14.56% of WSW report having sex once per week, although only 7.11% report desiring sex at that exact frequency. [3]
  • 22.88% of women who have sex with other women report having sex multiple times per month, although just 3.72% report desiring sex at that same frequency. [3]
  • 8.72% of WSW report having sex once per month. Only 0.58% of queer WSW report desiring sex at that frequency. [3]
  • 21.37% of WSW report having sex less than once per month and only 0.84% report desiring sex at that frequency. [3]

In general, women who have sex with women tend to desire sex more often than they currently have.

While it is generally observed that WSW typically have sex less often than other pairings (and there’s nothing wrong with that!), we do tend to forget that there can be a large discrepancy between actual sexual frequency and desired sexual frequency.

Sources: