[Dad27]

I just dont get it.

Lets see...
Mistress end u believe they are the woeman this man´s love and they kinda excuse everything he does and does not for but should when they get reassured that they (the mistress) are the woeman this Man Love.

And without even getting into details about this mans having already a family, maintain the relacionships, them being able of cheating with easy the family they "built".
I ask...
How can the mistress keep believing this man´s after 1 month.... 2 month..... 3 months.... YEARS?!
If they are really inlove they would have left their home the day they realized they loved the mistress and felt nothing for their wifes that are waiting for them... cooking for them... taking care of the kids... while he is... "having fun?".

I am used to say... "words are taken by the wind", "actions are what reflect the personality not their words"

---

I know this case;

27yo woeman, after being divorced for less than 1 month, she started a relacionship with a married man (can we really call relacioships?), in less than 1 month he was already telling her she was the woeman of her live and that she loved her more than anything else. etc etc and that he will leave home, his wife and 10yo kid.
At the moment i write this ... they are in the 3rd month of their "relacinoship" he is still at his home with his wife and kid. But keep saying he will eventually leave but he needs time.

After a lenged talk with this 27yo woeman she told me something interesting...
He says his wife wants him out for more than 1 year but he didnt want to leave and go to his parents house.
He says he haves a stable relacionship with his wife in the terms that they dont argue much atm.
He confessed her that on his last relacionship before this current wife, wich endured 12years, he betrayed this woman several times. BUT says that the first time he betrayed his current wife is with this 27yo woman.

I asked this woman, after this dont you think he will do the same to you incase he really end up leaving home?
she replies, no because he really loves me, he told me he loves me more than he have ever loved someone, and afterall he was younger, now he is older (38yo) and wont behaved the same way anymore when he comes to live with me.


Now i ask you all.
Is it only me that thinks that woman in love have the tendency to close their eyes, excuse everything by finding a confortable answer to the problem?

[Heartbroken]

I made him come over to my house to take another one with me and of course that was positive as well. I think he kind of tired to talk me out of it but not in so many words. I told him I would have this baby b/c that was what was meant to happen for us and I certainly wasn't killing an unborn child b/c he was being selfish and worrying about what everyone would think when they found out he had his mistress pregnant when he commom law wife was 7 months pregnant already.
I had about a week trying to get used to the pregnacy and when I was fiinally starting to come to terms with things I started bleeding and went to the hospital and found out I had a miscarriage. As harsh as this may sound to someone who is trying to have a baby. I was thankful I lost it. To me it was god's way of saying this wasn't meant to be. I hated him so much for the miscarriage. He wasn't their for me when I was lying in my own blood at a freinds house and couldn't get out of bed. A part of me still hates him. She had her baby with him and the same night he called me to tell how much he loved me and that he wanted to be with me more then ever. The baby is three months old now and I still see him 3 or 4 times a week. He tells me he is giving her his house and car and leaving her to be with me. He promises me over and over and over. And when I tell him how unhappy I am he promises me things will work out for us and we will be together. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Same old from the same old guy. But he is the only man I have loved in many years and I wonder if he does leave her will I even want him then? A part of us died with that baby and the anger and hatered I felt toward him scared me and I finally felt I could leave him after that but here I am stlil day after day after day looking forward to the next time we get to see each other. It is absolutley sickening but I can't help it. I don't know if anyone will ever realize how much my life and heart has been destoyed from meeting him but then I thinkn about the love I fell for him. I believe he is my soulmate but I try to talk myself out of silly but I love him and I know I'll be here when he leaves her. The last time I tried to leave him he said you can leave me but I promise you I will be working everyday to leave her and one day we will be able to be together. My response was maybe I wont be here one day? 30 years old and this is my love life
Will it all work out? I'll let you know as soon as I find out.
HB

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I can't even read that I have read it over and over and over in so many threads.

Here's the thing.. YOU were pregnant and he was NO, NO, NO..

Simple... If he loved you more than anything in life, more than any woman, he would have been way over the moon and said oh my god, my love, it is you and only you that i wanted a baby with.

HE DID NOT.

Promise, promise, promise, ...............................

Have a real good think and I am so sorry for being so blunt but "think about what YOU JUST SAID"..

he was being selfish and worrying about what everyone would think when they found out he had his mistress pregnant when he commom law wife was 7 months pregnant already

We as women need to READ.. what really is being said.

Please , please leave this man now and never ever look back.

CW

[Janet3525]

If it were only that simple housewife.

[Aithneu]

I think you should consider the "other women" in her position. She's dealing with all the new stresses of motherhood, on top of feeling all the post-pregnancy worries about whether or not she's still sexy with stretch marks. The last thing she needs is to find out that thru her entire pregnancy and even now she wasn't good enough for her husband. I just can't imagine how you could sleep at night after doing that to someone.

[KillerQueen79]

I was in a similar situation a while back...

I was dating a man 18 years my senior for over 5 years and I thought I was in love. Till one day his mate tells me that hes cheating on me (he couldn't tell me himself the wimp!!)....

But I take him back....

Only to walk in a year later and find him with yet another woman!!

Now, of the two ways to find out I prefered his mate telling me (it was a female friend).....

So! my advise.... dump him. If you stay with him your deceiving yourself and an innocent woman and he'll probably only cheat on you as well at some point. And if you tell her, it will break her heart... and do you really think he'll want to stay with you after that!!?

Respect yourself and the other woman and do the right thing.

[Aithneu]

So! my advise.... dump him. If you stay with him your deceiving yourself and an innocent woman and he'll probably only cheat on you as well at some point. And if you tell her, it will break her heart... and do you really think he'll want to stay with you after that!!?

Respect yourself and the other woman and do the right thing.

Thank you! This is exactly what needs to happen. It's already selfish enough to fool around with a married man (and i've done it too i'm just as guilty) but it's even worse to stick around when the other woman is pregnant. Plus, add insult to injury by trying to spite your mate by telling his wife? That's pathetic. Move on with your life and get yourself a real man. While you're at it, try not to be a homewrecker on top of it- when that child is born let it be the first day of the rest of her life in a good way, not a painful one.

[Mercury]

I really, really enjoy being the other woman.

I think that being the mistress is the best of both worlds. You get the sex, the emotional connection and the love, yet you don't have to deal with the ****ty "real-life" problems.

It is pure, simple, non-stressful, and wonderful.

I love being the other woman.

[Luda]

Hmm...this is a hard topic to discuss, but one I'm certainly interested in.

First of all, lets face it MOST men cheat if given the opportunity, some fantasize about it but never do it, but most can't resist it-ESPECIALLY with a rather good looking woman. No one is ever forced to cheat! Most importantly no one who truly loves their wife/husband cheats on them! You just don't do that to someone you love, because (and I'm sure we all have been in love and know the feeling) when you love someone there isn't anyone else in the world but them. Men (and women too) may about it all they want, but in the end if you cheat on someone-you DON'T love them! There are just no excuses for that, it's simple...it's not about sex as many like to think (or lie to themselves). True men do seem to think a lot with their penises, but if a man is in love, happily married, has good sex life-there are no reasons for him to just go off and have sex with some woman. We women are to blame for the way men are...they are spoiled rotten, and firstly by their mothers, but then by their gf's, wives etc etc. As long as there are women willing to forgive and forget "in the name of love", there will be men who cheat. I don't know which is worse-to be someone's mistress knowing he will NEVER leave his wife, or being that desperate, pathetic wife who knows her husband is cheating but she pretends she doesn't cos' she is just THAT desperate. I know women who are both, and let me tell you I can't really decide which is worse. I just can not see myself being married to someone who cheated on me, (or still does). If God forbids by future hypothetical husband cheated on me I'd want to know, and I'd leave him. Simple as that! Now for me that is easier and less complicated of two. When becoming someone's mistress you get "lured" into it easily, by the sweet talk, by the talk about their wives being es or what not, by their talk about how sad, lonely, miserable they are...so yeah I can see how one can fall for it, especially if woman is lonely, looking for love (who isn't?) etc. Point is the ones that cheat are to blame-not mistresses or wives. No need to blame the other woman, if it was not her it would be someone else...

[starryshoebox]

I had been seeing a MM for about a year and it just happened, I had always been staunchly against cheating of any kind, as I had been cheated on in the past but things just happened. I wouldn't say I love you for a long time until we had a fight and I realized I was about to lose him and we made up for a while, but it was so difficult to see each other. Then suddenly he broke up with me two months ago and then we got back together and now this week he broke up with me again because he said he couldn't handle the stress and when he had free time he wanted to spend it with his kids which I understand and that he wanted to come home to me every night but he could not. He thinks staying married to a wife he supposedly barely touches is going to be better for his kids in the end, mostly because his father left his mother when he and his sister were very young and it nearly killed his mother. I know I know I am making excuses for him. Part of the problem is too I am only 21 and he is 35, too young to be a stepmother. He says maybe in the future, but I cannot live on maybe forever, I don't think no matter how much I love him. Now I am not a bad person I do not care what anyone says, but I love him completely and totally and he says he loves me too but I just don't know I don't want to lose him completely but I know keeping him or trying to again is just going to hurt me more and there's so much he keeps hidden from me but I don't know I if I can walk away permanently, even though there could be someone else for all I know. Sorry this was so long but in short I understand how everyone in a similar situation feels.