[C]

That's brilliant Caroline, "since he does not know what love it"....



I guess what i was trying to say there, that my first boyfriend was Greek and not that i'm saying it's all greeks, hense why i didn't go into it, but that is the way he was bought up, him and his brothers and in their circle a few other's that i recall.

He was bought up "not to respect" a woman, give her attention, have feelings for her of course, but never forget you "the man" so do what you want, she will have to wear it... Guess that's why i didn't marry that one hey!

Not from a family point of view of nil respect, well then again, this was stated to him by his mother and his brother's and father did that they wanted as well, so, it is a reason, as that was his and his families reason... YOU JUST DO~

We met at 17, i was quite shocked to be honest but alas, i was in love, first love, so i accepted, (sort of) told a couple of girls to back of, or told them that seeing as he stays with me........ why is that?... always wondering the next time if there was one that she slept with my then boyfriend, whether she would feel inadequate...

Mmm, older wise i feel... that goodness....

CW

CW: When I wrote what I did I went from the experience of knowing some men like this...Not intimately, but well.... They were more of the affluent class in life...They came from wonderful families and no hang up's with the exception of themselves....However, sex was not a subject that was hidden but accepted...These guys never really grew up because they thought they were great as they were....They still do.....If a marriage failed, there was always another woman around....

The four men that I thought about in this post still don't think anything is wrong with them....I saw one of them the other day walking out of a bookstore with a Playboy in his hands.....Need I say more....TC, C

[CHANDLERS WISH]

CW: When I wrote what I did I went from the experience of knowing some men like this...Not intimately, but well.... They were more of the affluent class in life...They came from wonderful families and no hang up's with the exception of themselves....However, sex was not a subject that was hidden but accepted...These guys never really grew up because they thought they were great as they were....They still do.....If a marriage failed, there was always another woman around....

The four men that I thought about in this post still don't think anything is wrong with them....I saw one of them the other day walking out of a bookstore with a Playboy in his hands.....Need I say more....TC, C

Ha, no need you not say more... Mmm, playboy, player....

Yes, i can relate to the richer man, affluent class. When i managed a few restaurants, through a chain of restaurants, the Owner, was married, and flaunted his mistress, everyone was expected to be hush, but the wife knew. Of course when the mistress had enough after 3 or so years, along came another. And, of course i was asked, mmm, but declined.... In addition the flirting up a storm with all the lovely waitresses, gee.....



CW

[barbwirerose3]

Im also a mistress

Although I hate that word I guess that is what I am.
I have been with a man for 3 years now and he is married and yes I knew about it when we got together. I was married too, and he was my confidont and ironically giving me advise about my failing marriage. He told me that I deserved to be cared for and loved by someone, and at the time I didnt imagine it would be him. We became good friends and when i realized that there was no nope for my marriage, I sucomed to his charm and I wanted to be loved the way he told me I deserve.

I never expected this to last this long, honestly I was expecting a one night stand or something like that. After my divorce I moved only a few blocks away. In order to make things easier for 'us' he insited that I meet his wife, and as an excuses to see each other I watch their daughter for them when I am not working and they both are. I have become a 'family friend' I suppose this is the hardest thing for me to deal with. She treats him like but there he stays in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their daughter. All I can do is stand by and be there for him when we can be together. I know a bit how he feels, I did the same thing until my daughter was almost 5 and then realized that I didnt want her to grow up in an unloving home. I cannot tell you how much it hurts to see the man I love with all my heart even hold hands with another woman or give her an obligatory peck on the cheek so that she doesn't get suspicious. Some days I just want to scream.

This forum has helped me so much just to know that I am not the only one going through this. Heartbroken, your posting really touched me. My guy just turned 39 today and wow what a conicidence we both post on his birthday. There he is sitting at home relaxing on his birthday with his wife. I even took them over some beer just a couple hours ago. He tells me that he would never hurt me or make promises he cannot keep, but it kills me every night he goes home and I am left alone waiting for the next chance to be with him for a few moments. Now I know for a fact they do not sleep together, and they constantly fight whenever we have a gathering. I know this for a fact because I am usually there, standing in a corner, alone, watching the man i love become more miserable inprisoned by a woman who does not appreciate what a great man she has. He tells me that I have his heart and all she has is his time, but that is what I want the most. He is afraid of losing his daughter because she is so vindictive. I know that if we were together there is a good chance he would cheat on me, but for a reason I dont know I still want to be with him, even if it is just for a short while.

I dont know why I post this I haven't even confided this to my best friend of 15 years, but only to let those out there like me know that we are not alone. Somewhere there is someone else going though what you are and we need all the support we can get. I dont know what I am going to do at this point. I feel like telling him that we need to cool things off, and if he does get divorced down the road we will see what happens then, but then another part of me feels like I would rather have all of him part of the time than to have none of him forever.

[talk time]

I do feel for the emotions that the very honest and brave mistresses are going through.

I wonder though why they would be with a man that is married or coupled with someone else. I have seen this played out with a number of people I know and it always ends in heart ache.

I have a psychology background and this allows me to be analytical. With the people I know the common theme seems to be that they don't believe deep down that they deserve to be happy and so always go for the guy who is unobtainable or absent in some way.

Work on this area within your self. You deserve to be number one without there being a number two or three or even four.

I believe the most base and strongest conection is that of womenhood, so don't do this to yourself or other women. We should stick together. there are plenty of guys out there so find one for you and for you alone.

try and put yourself in the shoes of others and feel what it would be like to be the other. empathy.

Everyone deserves true happiness and when you believe this it will happen.

Wishing you all true happiness.

tt

[Heartbroken]

Oh my goodness. I just found this post again after not logging in for quite sometime. So much has happend since I found out his girlfriend was pregnant.
I had planned a trip with my friends down south for the whole year and I had decided that would be a great time for me to think about my situatio as a mistress and if this was something I needed to be doing. I contined to see him until the day I left and he knew I was going to do a lot of thinking while I was on vacation and most likely leave him once I returned. I had told him I would tell im if I was ever with anyone esle. Once I found out that his girlfriend was pregnant I started to see other people, only just casual sex really, I found it made me feel better when I saw other people, I wasn't constantly thinking about him then.
I finally went on vacation and what should have been the best vacation of my life as my best friends were getting married...turned into the worst vacation ever.
I had lots of time to relax and think about my life. I had decided I was definitley going to stop seeing him and that was that. I went back to my hotel room and I was cleaning out my swimming bag and found my cell phone which I had thought I had left back home. I got a text that said " I am so not ready for this, you said you would tell me if you saw an yone else" of course once I read this I knew he had found out I was seeing other people. How dare he make me feel guilty after everythign he had put me through. I hated him so much for that and still do sometimes.
He hacked into my email some how and saw the messages I had between some people I had been seeing. I was so mad at him and I hated him for breakig the little bit of trust I actually had in him in this whole crazy situation in the first place. I told him I was leaving him I had decided it and he cried to break his heart on the phone with me, the day before I left for Dominican he spent the night at my house ( he leaves town quite often so sometimes we can have a night together if he can plan it right so his gf doens't call) He told me he could not bare me to ever be with anothe rman and he promised me he would fix things and we coud be together. He cried and cried and cried and I cried with him and told him i had loved him for almost 3 years now and I just couldnt do this an ymore. He called me every sin gle day I was in Dominican and promosed me over and over he woudl fix things. I was so sick while on vaction and upset that I was going to let him change my mind about leaving him but I knew I loved him to much. I let him talk me into coming back to him when I got back. I wantd to I love him. I can't help the love Ihave for this man that is not mine and will never be mine. I was sick my whole vacation, throwing up and couldn't hold any food down, but blamed it all on the food and liquor.
A few days later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

[msfoxy03]

Run while you can!

Listen my friend played mistress and babysitter with this guy. now she has five kids for him, and he is still messing around with OTHER women. not including his exwife.

you are being faithful to someone that does not belong to you. why not be faithful to some that you can be completely happy with. A man that will give you all of him, not just whats left.

he's not worth your time.

[Heartbroken]

let me just say....I am not finished my story yet...far from finished. MOre to come shortly. And I would never be stuipid enough to stick around and have FIVE god dam kids for him!

[WildChild]

You don't need to tell her anything. Just tell him goodbye.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

let me just say....I am not finished my story yet...far from finished. MOre to come shortly. And I would never be stuipid enough to stick around and have FIVE god dam kids for him!

Let's just say a couple of weeks have passed.... So what is going on now in your life?

You were angry then but how are you feeling now?

What's been happening?

CW

[justkimmie]

I just have to say...
how you got him
is how you lose him...