[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yeah then I missed he quoted it. edited.

[Livelaughlove]

You cannot honestly tell me someone spews this garbarge... Really? UGH - that makes me want to throw up or smack someone, or both.

No they dont! I wrote it because It goes against Standard PU (pick up) theory

The reason why women are put off by pick up lines is because there is a hidden agenda with pick up lines & There obvious. Which means the man can't be trusted

Anything will work if you have the right mindset.

I went up to a women once and called her a B***. and asked her if she wants to know why she is a B****.

Curiosity intrigued her. From there I was able to make her laugh and have her tell me examples of when shes a B****. We had a very interesting conversation and a fun one too. She eventually became a very close friend.

CW, see post 53 I already addressed the issue of women giving men advice on dating.

Its stupid for a lack of better terms.

Im personally tired of arguing this...

Live laugh and love

[Little]

This is all sounding more than a little misogynistic.
Can you really say that only women have no idea what they want? I can point all around me at home, at work, and in the community to show men who do one thing consciously and want another unconsciously. I might even call it intrinsic to human nature.
My bottom line is that nothing psychological can be brought down to gender lines. Physical stuff, sure, that can be: a woman has a uterus and carries babies, a man has broader shoulder and greater upper body strength. Sure. But when people make arguments with humongous fallacies starting with "women do/think ___" and "men do/think ____," I can't help but laugh ... or be upset that they are using outdated sexist thinking. It wasn't that long ago in Western culture that a woman should have been seen and not heard and the older men in the audience were either 1. raised in that culture or 2. raised by those who were raised in that culture ... as were the women. Every member of the species is frustrated by change, frustrated that there is little overlap between the conscious desire of the partner they can take home to their parents vs the partner they can take home tonight (or vice versa, depending on the circumstance and not the gender.) So acts are born, so pick-up lines are born, so the PUA community is born, to liars and cheaters are born, in different individuals of different genders. So if a liar/cheater gives another person dating advice ... ("Be a player, Ricky, you'll never get anywhere being honest.") then isn't that advice valid for them?
If I tell one of those "nice guys" who whine so much about finishing last that he needs to grow a backbone or else he'll only ever date manipulators and b____es, am I wrong? Am I intrinsically wrong because I am female, or am I right because I happened to identify that particular act that humans put on and "genderify?" Identify its processes and outcomes?
I'm not saying you're wrong, LLL, I'm saying that your logic is over-specified to gender, not to mention heterosexuality, and is outdated, and because of those reasons, comes out misogynistic and incorrect ... when it could be right on.

[Guest]

I'm still confused as to where or how this thread went from "What should a woman look for to know a man's interested," -to- "The pyschology of how to pick up hookers and other women that aren't even worth our time."

[Livelaughlove]

My bottom line is that nothing psychological can be brought down to gender lines.

There have been countless articles by neuro-scientists to support my claim that men and womens brain and behavior are fundamentally different, including emotion, memory, vision, hearing, processing faces, pain perception, navigation, neurotransmitter levels, stress hormone action on the brain and disease states.

Live laugh and love

[sourpuss]

I'm still confused as to where or how this thread went from "What should a woman look for to know a man's interested," -to- "The pyschology of how to pick up hookers and other women that aren't even worth our time."

Hahaha!

[Little]

I'd like to see those studies, LLL. PM me a link anytime.
You avoided my direct question, though ... was I wrong because I'm a woman? Even if a man would have given the same advice? Because that's what you were implying previously.

[WildChild]

There have been countless articles by neuro-scientists to support my claim that men and womens brain and behavior are fundamentally different, including emotion, memory, vision, hearing, processing faces, pain perception, navigation, neurotransmitter levels, stress hormone action on the brain and disease states.

Live laugh and love

Actually very recent research is finding that women are just as visually stimulated sexually as men. We don't know a huge amount about men's sexual responses and even less about women's. We have had so much social warping for so long , it's embeded in our language, social interactions, how marriages and courtship are conducted; it's going to take some real work to get clear about what either gender's responses are naturally. It's commendable that there are men who truly want to better understand women but the last thing women need is men telling them how they "should" think and respond. Let alone trying to manipulate them.

We are all open to varying degree of influence from others, it's how we are taught from birth. In many ways we all and especially woman, are victims of the Stockholm Syndrome. Our social structures and norms have be so male-centric, for so long, that we all have trouble seeing it. The very fact that breast cancer studies have been conducted using men, is a case in point (granted some men do get it) But for crying out loud! That borders on ridiculous. Women have different hormone levels than men, their bodies are designed to carry and support another life, they are going to respond differently to drugs and treatments. Interestingly men, with certain chemical imbalances, bodies will actually turn testosterone into estrogen. They should never self treat for low testosterone, just adding more may make whatever they are dealing with worse if their bodies won't use it and change it to estrogen. If you want an interesting experience, try dealing with a some 6 and a half foot tall, muscular man who is basically PMSing, it is no picnic.

The whole thing comes down to being real and letting others be who they are. We need to be bringing out the best in each other, and not be playing manipulative games to get around the results of lingering old social and religious constructs. Yes, women's and men's brains work differently and that is why we need a respectful balance between them, each has strengths and each has weaknesses. If we acknowledge and play to each other's strengths and we will minimize both's weaknesses. This is true all people, not just genders.

[Livelaughlove]

I'd like to see those studies, LLL. PM me a link anytime.
You avoided my direct question, though ... was I wrong because I'm a woman? Even if a man would have given the same advice? Because that's what you were implying previously.

To name a few....

Sex differences in the brain BY Seymour LEVINE
Brain Gender BY Melissa Hines
Sex, sexual orientation and sex hormones influence human cognitive function by Doreen Kimura

As far as your question goes. I would honestly say that your response is great advice. On the other hand would you first be compelled to make him/her feel better because you are empathetic to there feelings and you "understand"?

TBH... I have read over hundreds of threads where the women here first concern is making the poster feel better as opposed to telling them what is actually needed to get the desired outcome. So a single post wont change my mind. I understand it is stubborn to think this way but what can i do... Its how I think...

Live laugh and love

[Little]

I can't speak to what I felt about the topic before I realized the underlying nature of "nice guys who whine" ... I don't remember. As I believe you've noticed about me (personally, again not speaking to my gender) I can be quite an abrasive person focused on truth and rules. In the situation I referenced, I would "understand" that every person has walls put up to their inner feelings to protect themselves from them, that the persona is just a coping mechanism ... but wouldn't feel bad about knocking it down either.