[Amber]

No, not a crush. If it was a crush, I would let you know. Just a curiosity about this guy. I don't know what I feel about him but even more so, I don't know what he feels about me. It is a two way street. Even though I like to get to know him, he may not be interested in me.

I have two guys I know are interested in me so far. That guy that emailed me and that guy who I met when I was separated from my ex. The second guy offered to go out with me as a friend to help get over my ex. Excuse me. lol I told him I wanted to stay to the single events right now and I could see he was disappointed. I say they are interested so far because they don't know everything about me. A lot of guys want to get to know me because of my looks but when they really get to know me, they run for one reason or another. Honestly, so far from what I have seen, neither of them peak my interest.

[Amber]

One of the things my friend with benefit friend taught me was you really should stop and smell the flowers. In other words, take it slow. Don't try to get serious too fast. Take your time to try to get to know someone. Enjoy the journey and forget about the final destination.

I was actually doing that with my ex, until I realized I was about to loose him. Then I panicked. But i plan on doing that with the next guy. Just get to know whom ever he may be and not jump into anything too quickly. But I guess one think I will have to deal with is how long will a guy wait before he wants to do it with you. That is not something I want to happen too quickly but how many dates does a guy go on with a woman before he expects sex?

[Texinator]

Depends on the man. Some want it on the first date already, many think three or four dates is the magic number, and some are willing to wait longer.

[Amber]

Depends on the man. Some want it on the first date already, many think three or four dates is the magic number, and some are willing to wait longer.

Wow, three or four. That is why I want to stick with getting to know the guys at the single events first. I have no desire to jump in bed with someone I have been out with only three or four times. Three or four dates, you barely know the guy.

[caterpillar79]

Amber, it's good you brought this up...or was it Tex? LOL!

You might want to wait till you are sure he wants exclusivity. The man who waits for the "two marshmallows" would be THE MAN. Unless, you want otherwise.

[Amber]

Amber, it's good you brought this up...or was it Tex? LOL!

You might want to wait till you are sure he wants exclusivity. The man who waits for the "two marshmallows" would be THE MAN. Unless, you want otherwise.

It was me. What do you mean exclusivity? Do you mean he would be my boyfriend and willing to see me only. If so, that definitely will be more than three or four dates.

Personally, basket case or not, I don't want to give myself to just anyone. He needs to be special to me. And the guy who wants to do it on the first date, he can get lost because that is definitely not happening!!!

[Texinator]

Maybe you'll meet a nice guy and y'all start off as friends. Do things together but without expectations. Eventually you'll realize y'all have something special together and are meant to be more than friends. Then you can forget about counting dates or worrying about exclusivity.

[Amber]

Maybe you'll meet a nice guy and y'all start off as friends. Do things together but without expectations. Eventually you'll realize y'all have something special together and are meant to be more than friends. Then you can forget about counting dates or worrying about exclusivity.

Probably the only way that is going to happen for me is if I meet some guy at one of the single events and just keep seeing him at different event. Sometimes you do see the same people.

[Texinator]

How was your 'date'? I think you said you went to the movies today?

[Amber]

How was your 'date'? I think you said you went to the movies today?

Tex, I probably should have you shot for using that d word. It most definitely was not a date!!! This girlfriend of mine wanted me to see New Moon with her. I call her girlfriend because she is a friend and a woman but she is not a close friend. I just met her once before. Anyways, she organizes events (everyone does it), so she posted on her page that the two of us were going to see the movie. Two more people decided to join in, one being the guy who I know likes me but I definitely don't feel the same way.

For one thing, I know I have to be at least somewhat attracted to the next guy I find and this guy I just don't find cute at all. Maybe it has something to do with that Beattle, bowl cut haircut he has. I wonder if it is really a wig. lol And then he is not that attractive to begin with but that haircut just makes it ten times worse. I usually can say that the guy is sort of cute or actually cute but this guy, I just can't. Then I know he loves hiking and such, which makes it easy for me to say no good. I do remember I was wiling to try it with my ex, but this guy, I don't want to even budge.

So the guy who is nice, I guess, but want nothing to do with him. Yep, I saw that guy, along with another guy who is probably twice my age and my girlfriend. It was an ok time. She originally asked if we wanted to go out to eat afterwards and I said sure. But she must have forgotten about that part because after the movie, she just said goodbye. If I brought it up, that guy probably would have offered to go with me. No way on earth!! So, even though I was starving at that time, I just ignored my stomach. After getting stuck in traffic, by the time I got home, I just grabbed some leftovers in the fridge. I would have eaten almost anything by that time!

Sorry but that movie left a lot to be desired. I still believe it would be so much better if they actually got actors that can really act. I felt I could have done a better job acting it, especially since she was suppose to be dealing with a broken heart. At least she was lucky enough to get the guy back.

Just the thought of dating again makes me sick to my stomach. Since my ex broke it off with me, all the men I have met, have not been my type at all. The only one I liked wasn't interested in me. Can't blame the guy. It is a two way street. I so much miss all the attention my ex use to show me and all the good times we had. Even just the cuddling and holding hands, I miss it so much. And the lightly touching of the arms. Just being with someone, I miss it so much. I could tell you all the small things about him that I miss, that he would do or say, but that obviously won't help me so I won't even think about those things. I honestly wonder if that right guy for me even exist. I thought I found him but obviously my ex didn't feel the same way. The last few days, it is like I have been craving for his touch. And when I touch myself, it is not the same at all. And even though I can't get it right, it just depresses me some, when I try it myself. Actually since he broke it off and the last time I was with him in the Dunkin Donuts, I have been craving for that touch. When will that craving feeling just go away??!!

I have an appointment with the sex therapist tomorrow. She wants me to be able to feel this wonderful out of my mind lulling feeling. The wine is the only thing that has come close to this feeling but even that doesn't cut it completely. She wanted to give me drugs but I'm not going there. Even if it gave me the right feeling, what am i going to do, use drugs when I'm with a guy. No way on earth!! It is better that I never feel that feeling than have to take drugs to be with a guy. I wish we could just try the next step and forget about that ultrarelaxed feeling. Does anyone feel that ultrarelaxed, almost out of their mind, type of feeling when they are having sex?