[Amber]

I talk about guys that look like playboy because that is what I'm guessing is suppose to turn women on. I have no idea what turns me on.

As what I said before, when I looked for a guy, he would need to be at least nice looking but what I especially looked for, was what was inside the guy. And if I liked what I "saw" there, then I would be interested in the guy. Now, I'm afraid. I can go out there and use my same method of looking for that next guy, that we share some interests and that he is good on the inside. But I know I'm going to be afraid for when that first kiss comes. Because if I don't feel those famous sparks, then I'm going to panic.

To be honest, if I really like the guy, I really don't think I could just drop him like that. Maybe it is wrong of me but I can't help it. I would probably hide the fact that I didn't feel anything, hoping it would get better. And if it doesn't, just set myself up for heartache again. Doesn't sound like I have learned my lesson yet, does it. But then I still think that it could have change with my ex but he didn't want to stick around to find out. Yes, he had other issues to deal with but when I asked him if he would consider taking me back after he dealt with his problems, he couldn't commit to that. He admitted the spark thing prevented him from doing so. I know I just have to forget about him. It is just not that easy.

[Amber]

But then from what you two both have said, I guess emotional feelings and how you feel about the person does have some to do with it. I'm curious to see how the sex therapist will answer this question.

[Amber]

OMG, you wouldn't believe what just happened to me. A guy from my past just called me up, wanted to get some coffee with me. He is at least 55yrs old if not older. Practically my fathers age. He was just a friend before. I can't believe he was calling me. He got my phone number from a friend of mine. And I could tell from the conversation that he was interested in me. I will never be that desperate. lol

[Texinator]

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You won't know how you react to any future kisses until you actually kiss someone to whom you're attracted. The psychological aspect of kissing is not something you can practice under any other conditions. But if you expect too much from the next kiss then you'll turn it into a self fulfilling prophecy, cause you'll focus more on your fears than on the kiss itself and then you're unlikely to feel an emotional spark.

[WildChild]

LOL Got to watch out for us ancient over 50 types.

[Amber]

Tex, I know you are right. I have to try to relax about the whole thing. I'm in panic mode again. I need to snap myself out of it.

I can't help it. I'm just so uptight lately. I use to not be such a complete basket case. The last month or so has been way too crazy and overwelming for me. I feel like I have been going through a whirlwind of emotions and most of them pretty lousy ones. My first time really dealing with any of this kind of stuff. And now dealing with my first real breakup is not easy but I guess it is not meant to be. Hopefully, I can get my life in some kind of half-way normal state soon. I say half because I know it will be a while before I feel whole and really happy again.

WC, not saying over 50 is ancient. lol Just saying a guy 20 to 25 year older than me is way too old for me!!!

[Texinator]

My first time really dealing with any of this kind of stuff.

Welcome to your teenage years!

Relax, you'll be fine. You're experiencing lots of firsts right now and will experience more in the coming months. But what is there in life that you can get 100% right on the very first try? Everything takes practice, practice, practice. Just focus less on the destination and more on the journey.

[Guest]

Amber, have you been to a GP?

Have you gotten a blood test done?

I've yet to hear a case of NO desire.

I've heard of desire waning and going away....but never heard of a case where it just wasnt' present to begin with.

If you aren't feeling sexy ever, nor experiencing urges, I wonder if your testosterone levels are extremely low? Pardon me if we've already discussed this.

[WildChild]

WC, not saying over 50 is ancient. lol Just saying a guy 20 to 25 year older than me is way too old for me!!!

LOL I know dear, just teasing a bit. There is way too much of an age difference there.

[Amber]

Tex, there is one catch to that, I'm not a teenager! Add 15 to 20 years onto that. It makes me panic a little because I know I don't have as much time as a teenager does. And everyone else my age has gone through this already.

OhThereYouAre, do you mean estrogen? Or do women have testosterone? I know I'm not short on the estrogen because I do bleed during those months and trust me around that time of the month, I do get my mood swings. Something I don't think I would get if I was low on that. But then I'm not sure if I could be low on estrogen and still experience all that. I also found this list. The only thing that fits for me is, well we will say the decreased sex drive for the heck of it but also maybe depression. But then the depression I can easily blame it on the separation with my ex and now the break up.

Rapid pulse rate
Bloating
Fatigue that worsens during the day
Constant fatigue, lethargy and fatigue on light exertion.
Short-term memory failure
Poor Memory
Hot flashes
Joint pain, swelling and stiffness
Decreased Sex Drive
Depression
Headaches
Osteoarthritis
Low Back Pain
Dry skin
Vaginal Dryness
Recent unexplained weight gain

I did see my doctor last month but we didn't think of doing a blood test for that.
But my guess it is not that. Does anyone else think maybe it could still be that? Maybe I'm missing something here.