[danceintx]

I disagree, there is a certain amount of respect you should show someone while in a relationship with them. Looking at and admiring a beautiful woman walking by is one thing. Intentionally going out of your way on a regular basis to get off to other women is another, and unless you are addicted to porn, it should be something you can refrain from doing out of respect for your partner. Saying men are just going to look at porn and there's nothing you can do about it is bs. That's like saying men are attracted to women so they are going to sleep around with them while you are in a relationship and there is nothing you can do about that so accept it. I like watching attractive men myself, but there is no way I could regularly watch videos of near naked men shaking it on youtube, get all hot and bothered by it, know that my boyfriend knows about this and is upset, and with a concious keep doing it. That to me is disrespectful.

[FeministBen]

It's disrespectful, perhaps, if they ask you to stop. My girlfriend watches porn and gets off to it, both girl on girl and straight. Whilst she might not particularly care for me watchin porn (she's not too keen on the idea), I know she doesn't have a leg to stand on! Mooha!

In all seriousness though, the guy isn't sayin you're not good enough. He's sayin 'Hey, I need private time. My sexuality isn't just sumat I can share, I need to experience it on my own as well, just like all other facets of my life.'

Porn gives us ideas for exciting new positions and roleplays and such, in leui of an imagination of our own. You want missionary every day? Then clam up :P

[Annie1988]

Thank you for your input Danceintx. I completely agree with what you said and how you said it! It is a matter of repect!

[SecretlySad]

I think just because he isn't ignoring you and watching porn all the time, that still doesn't make it ok for him to do it.

My bf watches vids of other girls too. Sure, it annoys me, but he is human and he would never do it in front of me, and as far as I know, he isn't cheating on me. Besides, I like porn too!

[pink rosa]

That's what sunglasses are for.

haha I'm glad know someone else useing the sunglasses trick too .

[-Tragic-]

I know everyone says hive him a break, but it's just not that easy. Yes, it's worse to always hold on to it but it's impossible.
My bf of a year kept pictures of a girl he used to like in a bikini and hid it from me until I accidently came past it. The worst thing about it was it was days after our school ball. I thought we were both happy and perfect, then this came up. He said sorry a million times and he hopes I can forgive him, and that it just looked good. How is that easy to get over when he's looking at a chick in a bikini with a belly button piercing and huge over me?
That feeling will never go away. And act it out? That's just encouraging him, and if you did try, that feeling will just come back. I haven't acted the same since.
I love him, but I just don't feel the same no matter what.
Nothings as easy for simple to get past. Even if it's something so small.

That's my paranoia - don't be like me.

[PandaPaws]

You are absolutely right. So what to do is the big question. Who has to suck it up and deal. Does he have to go without something that he obviously thinks he needs? Does she have to feel terrible everytime he does this not only because it hurts her in and of itself but also because its not something he's willing to sacrafice to make her happy... therein making it more important than her.

For me I don't care that my guy isn't in love with the women he's masturbating to. The fact that he wants another woman for his sexual gratification is what bothers me, not that I think he sits and plans a wedding to the girls pictures. I hate that her pictures/videos and drooling over some chick that doesn't give a rats about him are more important than my feelings.

Yes, totally agree with the above statement!!

I disagree, there is a certain amount of respect you should show someone while in a relationship with them. Looking at and admiring a beautiful woman walking by is one thing. Intentionally going out of your way on a regular basis to get off to other women is another, and unless you are addicted to porn, it should be something you can refrain from doing out of respect for your partner. Saying men are just going to look at porn and there's nothing you can do about it is bs. That's like saying men are attracted to women so they are going to sleep around with them while you are in a relationship and there is nothing you can do about that so accept it. I like watching attractive men myself, but there is no way I could regularly watch videos of near naked men shaking it on youtube, get all hot and bothered by it, know that my boyfriend knows about this and is upset, and with a concious keep doing it. That to me is disrespectful.

And I agree with this one too. I feel like my bf KNOWS how much it bothers me, yet he still does it all the time. Like my feelings don't matter, because he just thinks it's normal to do all the time, and got PI$$ED at even the mention of a possible addiction. I think if he only did it, say twice a week, I could deal. But I'm talking he looks at it like twice a day... no, he doesn't get off twice a day, but he still has to see what's out there. He has countless pics and quite a few videos of me, but that's just not enough. I feel like I will never be enough for him, and it eats away at me.

[Lunar_Lilith]

I'm going through the same thing too...except my boyfriend looked up the videos on youtube and watched them right in front of me. I never thought he would disrespect me like that. I'm so hurt, and the thought of dumping him is being toyed with.

[Lunar_Lilith]

Ok no I'm not going to break up with him I love him too much but its just I'm hurt by it. I've been reading your responses here from all of you and its helped a little.

[Jacks-UP]

So you're looking for a guy that will never look at anyother women and not watch porn even soft core on youtube? I hate to break this to you hun but you're going to be single a long time.

Rule of thumb you can look but you can't touch.