[Guest]

I think the other reason my SO hasn't broken out the porn is because when I get bored, I take advantage of us both having camera cell phones.

Gotta love technology.

[Texinator]

is he wishing they were his girl instead of me...

Nope.

It's purely visual. He's not fantasizing about their personality, their intelligence, about being in a relationship with them.

Some guys need lots of variety in their visual stimulation and want to look at lots of different things. It typically doesn't have anything to do with their girlfriend or wives. I'm sure whoever is with Miss Universe sometimes likes to look at other girls shaking their booty.

[ThexMrs]

I agree with Chandler.

[Hopeless Dork]

Oh absolutely. I wasn't in any way generalizing guys in that sense, which is why I always include the word "most" or something like that. I know there are PLENTY who don't need anything except the image of their loved one. And I absolutely adore those guys, haha. I think the other reason my SO hasn't broken out the porn is because when I get bored, I take advantage of us both having camera cell phones.

I've taken countless pictures for my guy -- made him videos -- I've given him lap dances -- I write him dirty letters and send dirty texts -- Theres nothing in the sexual arena that I've denied him-- I love giving him oral , often... and to completion. He has got his very own porno star at home !! Yet........... he will ocassionally (not often) but occasionally browse porn.

I have a higher drive than he does so it unnerves me to no end that he feels the need to do this. Its only when I am not around and he's respectful about it. Our relationship is phenomenal. The sex is great, he is the most loving and attentive man I have ever seen let alone been in a relationship with. We are best friends, lovers and as huggy and kissy as the most annoying couple you could think of lol

But.... on more than one occasion I have almost dropped it all because of his choice to occasionally view porn. It makes me feel like he is unhappy with what he has. He tells me its not the case... but I can't figure out why then he would have a desire for seeing other women if he was happy with the one he had.

[Texinator]

HD,

I also just wrote a post in the Girl on Top thread about it, but this might be a better summary:

Nope.

It's purely visual. He's not fantasizing about their personality, their intelligence, about being in a relationship with them.

Some guys need lots of variety in their visual stimulation and want to look at lots of different things. It typically doesn't have anything to do with their girlfriend or wives. I'm sure whoever is with Miss Universe sometimes likes to look at other girls shaking their booty.

[kms]

Well, it seems that generally guys can separate sex from love more easily than women can. Men tend to be able to view naked women without any thought of love, commitment, or desire beyond sexual gratification flitting through their mind. Conversely, females tend to see love and sex and more intertwined - can't have one without the other. So if a guy is getting sexual gratification from a youtube video, to a female that automatically means he doesn't love her or that she is lacking somehow. For a guy, it has nothing to do with that. Now of course, there are men and women who are the complete opposite, but as a general rule, I think this is why guys tend to see no problem with viewing explicit material (within reason) whereas females tend to see it as threatening.

[Hopeless Dork]

Well, it seems that generally guys can separate sex from love more easily than women can. Men tend to be able to view naked women without any thought of love, commitment, or desire beyond sexual gratification flitting through their mind. Conversely, females tend to see love and sex and more intertwined - can't have one without the other. So if a guy is getting sexual gratification from a youtube video, to a female that automatically means he doesn't love her or that she is lacking somehow. For a guy, it has nothing to do with that. Now of course, there are men and women who are the complete opposite, but as a general rule, I think this is why guys tend to see no problem with viewing explicit material (within reason) whereas females tend to see it as threatening.

You are absolutely right. So what to do is the big question. Who has to suck it up and deal. Does he have to go without something that he obviously thinks he needs? Does she have to feel terrible everytime he does this not only because it hurts her in and of itself but also because its not something he's willing to sacrafice to make her happy... therein making it more important than her.

For me I don't care that my guy isn't in love with the women he's masturbating to. The fact that he wants another woman for his sexual gratification is what bothers me, not that I think he sits and plans a wedding to the girls pictures. I hate that her pictures/videos and drooling over some chick that doesn't give a rats about him are more important than my feelings.

[lizama123]

Well ive had a similar reaction. Im not engaged or married but ive benn with him for about a year. I remember he was at my house and I walked off to do something and when i walked back into my room he was watching playboy on my own t.v!!! I felt so unconfident and worthless cause I felt I wasnt good enough for him. I know how us girls can get offensive sometimes but if he's a nice guy like you say he is you need to forget the past and know that a relationship is never perfect and you have to know we will always make mistakes! Keep your man girl.

[Guest]

Well, it seems that generally guys can separate sex from love more easily than women can. Men tend to be able to view naked women without any thought of love, commitment, or desire beyond sexual gratification flitting through their mind. Conversely, females tend to see love and sex and more intertwined - can't have one without the other. So if a guy is getting sexual gratification from a youtube video, to a female that automatically means he doesn't love her or that she is lacking somehow. For a guy, it has nothing to do with that. Now of course, there are men and women who are the complete opposite, but as a general rule, I think this is why guys tend to see no problem with viewing explicit material (within reason) whereas females tend to see it as threatening.

I'd have to disagree here. Women are just as capable of masturbating and viewing porn, or doing both for that matter as men are. We have quite a few here who talk it about often.

I doubt any of these women have any illusions that they are in a complicated, emotional relationship with the actors they seen in porn, or with their sex toys.

As a result, I'd say that the ability to separate sex from love is a skill both genders possess.

[Guest]

So what to do is the big question. Who has to suck it up and deal.

Why not both. Why don't both of you quit masturbating? I know plenty of couples that have this agreement.

There are even some on this forum.