[SecretlySad]

It's okay. That is why WH is here, that's why we all come here - to support each other....

*hugs*

Seriously though... I am ashamed to admit I have been posting this on many boards, for a long time, and I am no closer to an answer.

All I know is that I feel unhappy, unfulfilled, ripped off, like I am wasting my youth, controlled, dependant, useless, confused and sad... a lot of the time.

[caterpillar79]

I am not trying to suggest this and shove it to your face, but have you made a list (here we go again with the 'list') of what you want to do, and opposite each action/plan is the possible effect?

I do that sometimes especially with delicate stuff. Maybe because I am structured and full of "what ifs" that's why I need a list. Worth a try, right? Just sharing some problem solving skills I learned from school.

[SecretlySad]

I am not trying to suggest this and shove it to your face, but have you made a list (here we go again with the 'list') of what you want to do, and opposite each action/plan is the possible effect?

I don't quite understand... do you mean like a list of his pros and cons, or a list of what I want, and the possible outcome of each want?

[caterpillar79]

A list of what you want to do, and what possible outcomes each one could create - both + and - . Off you go.

[SecretlySad]

Ok here goes...

Have some serious time to myself

P: Learn more about me and who I am, have the freedom I have always wanted to do what I want when I want, make all decisions for one person only and just be FREE.

N: Loneliness, meeting a whole bunch of jerks and realising my current bf was the one for me, but having no life experience if I stay.

Sex

P: Being able to enjoy passionate sex again. That butterfly feeling.

N: It has been a long time since I have had sex that I actually enjoyed, and that wasn't done just to avoid a fight. I can't see that ever changing if we stay together. My sex life will be a miserable one.

Breaking Up

P: Being able to experience what it is like to be alone, as an adult, finally. Working out exactly what it is I am looking for and going for it. Travelling when I want.

N: Losing my best friend, losing mutual friends, having to find somewhere else to live, discovering what what I was looking for... was him.


That's not very good at all, but it's a start, right?

[sourpuss]

Ok, now take away all the Ps and just read the Ns. Is that a life you are willing to live?

[caterpillar79]

Too soon, Sourpuss! And why that bias? Hmm?

[sourpuss]

Too soon, Sourpuss! And why that bias? Hmm?

I'm a little froggy tonight huh? I should probably make some tea and snuggle up in bed before I do some real damage.

[caterpillar79]

No, don't go. Your input is appreciated. We need a devil's advocate - makes the discussion more meaningful.

[SecretlySad]

Ok, now take away all the Ps and just read the Ns. Is that a life you are willing to live?

This is just one part but I have to tell you, lady to ladies, and I hope you won't judge me too harshly.... I miss sex sooooooooooooo much. Oh man.

I know it seems silly, but anyone who says that isn't a big part of a relationship is full of rubbish.

What do you think of my list, cat??