[CHANDLERS WISH]

At your age, you have plenty of time to shack-up with someone and have a family later. So you should put those thoughts aside for now and be playing the field right to get valuable experience--and pleasure if you're sexually smart about it.

I'd say that by giving him exclusive rights to you, you;re robbing all the other guys out there. But maybe I'm wrong; maybe he's just 'the one' only he does a truly excellent job of covering up the fact. (Note sarcasm.)

Robbing the guys of their chance to gain sex? Be sexually smart and sleep around?

Um, seriously, I disagree that this is going to help a woman, you can gain great sexual experience, by finding a partner that is on your level sexually you don't have to sleep with every guy to get that experience, or a name for that matter.


You state that your in a "distant" relationship. But, you talk about his clothes being screwn across the place, doesn't do dishes... So, he stays with you sometimes?

Do you know for sure he's playing the piano for 3hrs and went for a job, and will be working with his father? Seems, these are the things you have mentioned to him and all of a sudden he is doing..... Words are words...

You say he's possessive. And, he lives for just being around you, with you and doesn't care for anything else. Maybe, that's the reason why you 1) find it sweet, but then 2) find it scary and over the top and don't like it and you want to breathe.

You may have a drive in life, goals, and he may have goals but no drive and it could be because his Mother did everything for him, but your both young and sometimes it takes a little time, called maturity before someone can act on their goals...

Your Sister's example is 10 years, she realises that she saw the signs much earlier but kept trying.

You I think have a fear, but I hurt him once, if I do it again, just to see what's out there in life, how other boys live, think, dream, work, and I'm wrong and I want to go back will he trust me?

He's possessive, he will ask a million questions, assume you slept with someone else, and so possibly not..

But, establish is he lying? Or is he playing the piano, going to work for his Dad, where is he possessive? Alot of guys throw their clothes in a heep and expect the woman to pick it up Their mum did, that's a hard one to break...

CW

[idon't]

Hm not sure if he's exagerating about the piano but i believe him about the job...Yes,i study in another city but he visits me and stays 3-4 days. All those things i mentioned have nothing to do with his possessiveness,i'm just adding it to the things dislike about him!He is veeery possessive,to the point he gets angry if i talk to a friend for too long on the phone because he doesn't know what we're talking about,or if i want to stay home to see my family he keeps asking me a billion times what time i'll go see him.He even created a fake facebook profile once under the name of a girl and made up this crazy story about this girl telling me she saw me cheating my bf etc!That made me veeery angry,i didn't speak to him for two days!I mean grrrrr!I feel i can't breathe!And i hate it when he's beeing too nice to me!!!!Am i nuts?!?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He's totally in-secure and feels the need to keep constant tabs on you.

Is that something that you can live with the rest of your life? Not being able to breathe and feeling like you are walking on egg shells?

It's your body/mind/spirit and you should be free to be yourself at all times... A person whom trusts, which is a huge part of a good relationship, will always allow you to be yourself, as they trust you.

Snooping and making up false accounts is very possessive...

If I were you, I would be stating, "chill, I'm having a conversation with my friend", "Chill, I'm with my family, I'll see you later"...

Sounds like you have a "child" around, who is demanding your attention 24/7 and that's hard for any woman to take if that child is actually a grown person.

CW

[sourpuss]

He even created a fake facebook profile once under the name of a girl and made up this crazy story about this girl telling me she saw me cheating my bf etc!

This is not normal relationship behavior, even for someone who gets a bit jealous.

[idon't]

Yeah,that's what i tell him "chill out",but he keeps acting the same!He also asks me a hundred times a day if i love him,h drives me nuts.But why is he so insecure??What have i done???

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Nothing.... Why are you blaming yourself for his "character?"...

Sounds to me that he has lived a sheltered life, and one of which he has fear of losing anyone...

I personally couldn't cope with constantly telling someone I love them just to try to make them realise only to tell them again because they don't get it...

[idon't]

The thing is that i'm very confused.Why did i even try to get him back?We had the same problems that we have now,that's why we broke up.I blame myself for not knowing what i want.I mess up all the time.There are times i adore him and times i want to run away screaming!lol!I think of braking up all the time but then again i don't want to brake up,ever.