[Hopeless Dork]

I think being worried about how you are going to approach sexual situations before first being comfortable approaching women in general is like worrying about what recipe you will prepare for dinner when you haven't figured out how you are going to get the groceries...

I think its natural that you are focused on what intrigues you physically about the prospects of dating... and the urge you have to be sexual with a woman... but before being too concerned with will they want it, won't they, how can I tell if they do... I think you will see how much more natural that whole flow takes place once you have started inniciating the opportunities for those things to begin with... such as basic dating etc.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think your whole concern over will it be objectifying to a woman to want sex from her, or worrying about what she would think if she knows you want sex is trivializing the intelligence of women you would be interracting with. If they notice you want sex, or get a vibe from you that its what you want either they will be happy about that, dissapointed with it... or indifferent to it. And none of those reactions can be predicted ahead of tiem... and no matter which way they feel about it... you don't have to appologize (to yourself) for wanting what you do, whether or not it progresses to the next stage will be a mutual decision between the woman and you. So you needn't fear if she's judging you for wanting to be with her... most women assume men that have shown they are attracted to them probably want sex with them. Whether or not they want it also or when they want it... is entirely up to them (and you of course)... so its nothing to really feel like you are objectifying them over.

[liminal]

I think your whole concern over will it be objectifying to a woman to want sex from her, or worrying about what she would think if she knows you want sex is trivializing the intelligence of women you would be interracting with

This is an example of what I mean by taking a negative focus please say what you want to say in positive and encouraging words because how you say it obscures your meaning.

What I fear is being looked down on rather than appreciated.

But thank you for putting it how you put it in the rest of the thing.

Do most relationships not work out? Why do guys feel the need to exaggerate their numbers to a women if a large number relationships means that's they have experienced a large number of failures?

How do women know if a guy is for real when he initiates sex for the first time? How will you know if he is not having sex with you to gratify his sexual needs?

[liminal]

I guess I am at an impasse.

I feel like if I had a normal sex drive then woman should not be able to trust me AND that I should not feel like I should be able to trust myself.

But in truth it's more complicated than those feeling and has to doi with me not knowing what I want.

It has to do with Aspgergers in one sense because that disorder makes it hard to know what I want. It makes it hard to know if I am even able to be in love. Which is a hurtful thought for me to reflect on.

The other thing is the physiological aspect of past physical trauma to physical sexual development that I talked about in my posts from September.

It all leaves me not being sure what I want and leading me to try to imagine how I would be if I were more normal but fancying myself as very honest.

I guess it's driven me crazy.

I wish I knew what I want out if life and these complicated experiences of sexual and emotional longing to be close to a woman.

I still have so many questions and I can't deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what it is that I should feel or what I want. It's tempting to slip into old habits and ways of thought and there is all this out there about guys and it just makes me kind of insane.

I don't know what to think or go from here. Uhh. If I had real friends that I trusted I could confide in I might not have been so confused.

So I don't even know what to ask now.

[liminal]

I guess no one has anything to say to that. Probably impossible to explain anyways. Thank you all anyways for providing a forum where I can work out my thoughts and questions.