[rcoreyus]

Do either of you really want it to be FWB? That doesn't seem consistent with the feelings of jealousy that it seems you both have. Remember that you can be in a relationship without making a life-long commitment.

[Calicorado83]

I'm pretty sure that although he cares about me that that is all he wants from me is fwb. I'm pretty sure I'm not his "type" and also he doesn't want to be with me because I have a kid.

I don't want to be with him because I know theres some things about us that bring out a lot of insecurities of mine. And I'm not ready to commit to someone just yet because I do have my son and dating after becoming a mother just isn't the same. I want to learn how to do it and take my sons needs into consideration so dating for me now has become more complicated than it used to be for that reason. I like the fwb thing because it seemed like the easiest way to go about it, but I find myself in this situation where I'm dealing with deeper feelings than I was expecting.

[Calicorado83]

And I get what you're saying, if we are fwb it shouldn't cause the jealousy we feel if one of us sees someone else. There are so many times where this fwb thing has felt like a relationship because we've already been in a few minor fights where I don't even want to talk to him for awhile because he makes me so mad. My friend says she thinks this is the beginning of a relationship whether we both like it or not. And I think she right because it does feel that way sometimes.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey beautiful.

Firstly a man who is in a FWB's and she is ademant that's all it is, wonders "What is wrong with me?" She didn't fall for me, be careful of your thought of it going futher because this is a natural thought on his behalf.

You need to look deep inside and see if you feel that he is showing emotions and not fighting for ego.

OK.

You can date, without your son being involved and see where it goes.

I still think your heart is hurt from the past and you know what I mean.

This is why you chose FWB and the sugar Daddy, you are guarding your heart but ready again for love, if it is real.


Only you can work that part out and I hope something I have said makes you look into this deeply.

[caster]

Believe me, I understand completely. One of my FWB's was a friend first, FWB off and on for quite awhile and now a life long friend. She didn't have a kid when we were friends, but did when we became FWB's. We always had an attraction to each other, but a relationship would never have worked between us. Somehow we made it work as FWB's.
And sometimes, as humans, we just need some good sex. Why should that require a relationship?

Good luck, think it through, and remember, you have friends here.

[Calicorado83]

and Chandlers wish, I did not think of that point of view. When he found out I was with another man, rather it hurting his feelings because he cares for me, it might have hurt his ego instead because he wasn't the one I chased on that night. That makes complete sense, and thank you so much for bringing up that perspective. He is very uptight in his self interest, always working out at the gym, caring what others think. He even goes after model-type girls because they make him look better, which is why I said before I am not his type and that's why I know if I were to ever be with him Iwould feel quite insecure and never good enough. Hence not trying to go down that road and sticking with fwb to avoid that situation!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Self interested, models, maybe because the Sugar Daddy would provide income, he felt he had competition All he can offer is this body and looks, (maybe)

It appears to me, I may be right sweet. Ego.

Hang in there, the right guy is out there, at least you are aware "almost" not to fall for another wrong one as we all do through our teens and early 20's only to realise slowly what we are worth.

Or the lies we have been fed. One of the two or both.

Goes for guys too. Woman are more than capable of doing that to men.

[rcoreyus]

I think that FWB sounds like a great idea, but it really doesn't work well for most people. I have a friend who got into that sort of relationship and discovered that neither party could really keep it at that level and things broke up unhappily. Most people seem to be wired so that physical intimacy leads to emotional intimacy and bonding, and that often leads to jealousy when the other person acts like it is just FWB.

I have absolutely no objection to FWB for those people who can make it work, but I think that for the majority of people it doesn't work out.

[Calicorado83]

Nd Chandlers wish, my fwb has no idea about the sugar daddy. I will keep that a definite secret from him. The guy I slept with is someone I have mentioned on thisboard before, Elijah from the band. That was a few years ago though, I don't expect anyone to remember my mention of him.

I think I just want to forget about how difficult it is and just remember that all I want is something easy, simple and fun. Forget these feelings and trying to figure it out!!! It's so frustrating! I need to listen to my head! My head not my heart! Hearts make decisions based on feelings, not on facts, and feelings can be irrational and impulsive!!! I know better than all of this!!!!