[jen1447]

With you 100% hon. My first thought is is there some reason to not want to be known to be at that bar? Second thought is why are we lying today, about anything? But then again I'm probably just feeling protective of you lol - I think you're on the right track, don't forget about it but don't let it ruin things atm. I suppose if we rained doom and gloom on every little quirky thing we'd never get anywhere.

[atskitty2]

Yeah, that's kind of how I think about it. We'll see... These things always seem to come to light but I'm trying not to start looking for a misstep, because we also, usually find what we look for...

[jen1447]

Hey, do you ever do 'background checks?'

[atskitty2]

No, I've never gone that far. I rely more on my instinct and if there was a time that I really liked someone and had some sort of apprehension that I just couldn't figure out, I don't know that I'd even consider it really. I don't rule that out, but I wouldn't even know how to go about it.

This guy owns 2 businesses in a nearby larger city, and I'm sure I could get info on him if need be. I'm seeing him tonight, so we'll see what new info this date might reveal. I'm not excited at all, which isn't a good sign. Our phone calls are a little too shallow...his answer for what qualities he is most interested in finding in a partner...pretty childish answer for a 48 yr old man looking for a long term relationship.

[atskitty2]

I guess, in short, he seems to have difficulty talking seriously about anything...it's always turned into a joke.
I'm all for laughs but I'd like to know he can be serious about smth besides his line of work.

[jen1447]

Sister can hook you up if you're interested via the BF - verify the businesses for example. I know it's somehow not ideal seeming, but in today's world .... (you could pm me if you don't want to discuss on here)

So what are his top qualities, your right cheek and left cheek?

[atskitty2]

This evening went well. We had a nice dinner and much more meaningful discussion-2 hours in fact with him doing most of the talking.
I'm relieved by this. I was thinking he may be incapable! I even let him kiss me goodnight! Lol
I like his personality-sense of humor and he's pretty straightforward and he's got brains, but kind of an edgy side too-touch of that bad boy thing we've discussed.

He told me that he is looking for long term and that since we are adults, he hopes we can behave like adults and not play games and just say so if we feel it's going nowhere. I told him that's pretty standard for me.
I am going to ask him tho, why he says that...???
I don't quite understand if he just wants to put himself out there and be honest...has he had a run of gamers? Is he getting a vibe that I'm holding back? Is he expecting some level of commitment at this stage?
To me, we're getting to know each other-deciding whether its worth a go right??? So, he's clarifying...but it seems an odd time.
He said it before we even met-online, basically during our first chat also.

It doesn't seem to be desperation. He isn't outright pushy and doesn't seem to be overly dissatisfied with his life as it is.

He did comment that I seem to work even more than he does, so I probably won't complain about his work commitments... No...I would probably be hoping he didn't complain about mine!!
So, yeah...I think he's had a string of less than ideal relationship experience but idk...thoughts?

[jen1447]

Hm, I guess that's the first thing that pops into my head too, but it's hard to get a read without eyeballing the guy. You're familiar with the online scene - is that typical? Kinda seems like online daters might go that route after more than their share of frustration thru traditional ways ....some of them anyway (I assume the regular predators just hang out there because it's a good watering hole lol.)

So you seem to feel better about him again .....one thing I'd watch out for is falling into the daily evaluation trap and instead stay focused on the big picture impressions. If he felt weird before, you should still be cautious. A good date is good but it shouldn't clear the slate.

And with that I'm done preaching so, all things considered, have fun! Is he a good kisser? Was it a passion liplock or a church kiss? Etc.

[atskitty2]

Oh, no clearing of the slate here. But I was encouraged by it.
I've had guys say this to me before and they usually say it's because they've been online and had the flakes and the gamers encounters and want to ward off the evil spirits right away. That doesn't appear to be the case here.
I think I just need to say smth, ask if his expectation is for me to be in love soon, or how fast he wants to be married or committed...because I've made it clear I'm not out for a quickie either. But I also don't think we can or should know this soon if we're going to settle into a one on one deal...I think that takes time.
I'm just wondering what anyone else thinks...I'm foreign to these dating logistics.

Just a church kiss, 3 in a row and I cut him off

[jen1447]

Tease. I bet it still made you feel tingly tho.