[C]

You are talking about the "initial" attraction" as you are correct it is also "inner beauty" that counts. And this is from your opinion. I know a lot of men who find larger women attractive, short, tall, blonde or brunette as much as i know of men that have fallen in love, ex-brother-in-law for one, that was not physically attracted to his 7 year girlfriend to date, but was connected by having so much in common, that the initial time was friendship but he slowly didn't care about her being over weight, suspect one day they will marry.

The guy i am seeing, well his words were precise " I am sure you are a beautiful woman, and intelligent, but i know what i am looking for and will find"... That my friend is why i fell for him. Because, he wanted that "inner soul", the one with a passion for life, the one that knew freedom and togetherness and the one whom therefore, would have passion also in the bedroom. He is searching for his soul partner for the rest of his life, so age plays a role here. An older man knows what journey he has been on, and what he cherished and will seek nothing less, he wants laughter, fun, intimacy, freedom, sensuality, sexuality, togetherness, passion, lust and desire. He isn't interested in dating a beautiful woman with no soul.......

CW

CW: You are older so your thoughts are older..I am ancient and my idea's probably reflect it.....BUT when I was younger, my desires, wants and ultimate partner for life.. was going to be who I wanted...I knew I would get what I wanted...A woman who is confident knows this..It relects in her actions and believe me I know what I am saying....Each of the men who proposed to me had a soul, but they did not wake up mine....You are older and your new man is older and your thinkings are different than youth...I am not saying that a woman has to be reed thin but men are men and they just are not going to go looking for her inner beauty and being 75 pounds overweight.

I know if I was dating now being the woman that I am, I would have to know a man in person and like the way he looked...Looks would probably have an imfluence on me...Darn me for saying this but I am still attractive for my age and I am confident enough in myself as a woman to demand it....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

CW: You are older so your thoughts are older..I am ancient and my idea's probably reflect it.....BUT when I was younger, my desires, wants and ultimate partner for life.. was going to be who I wanted...I knew I would get what I wanted...A woman who is confident knows this..It relects in her actions and believe me I know what I am saying....Each of the men who proposed to me had a soul, but they did not wake up mine....You are older and your new man is older and your thinkings are different than youth...I am not saying that a woman has to be reed thin but men are men and they just are not going to go looking for her inner beauty and being 75 pounds overweight.

I know if I was dating now being the woman that I am, I would have to know a man in person and like the way he looked...Looks would probably have an imfluence on me...Darn me for saying this but I am still attractive for my age and I am confident enough in myself as a woman to demand it....

Well, it's scary being "older"...lol...

No, i know i did state that he is seeing it from a younger age than me, and i agreed that as such it's that tall blonde that looks great that he wants to see.

But as there are all sorts of ages reading this thread, of all shapes and sizes, i was making that stance of the difference between young, almost young ( like me ) ha, middle age and older, as such "dating" may be looked at differently from what a man is looking for. As you state someone "older", may no longer need that tall blonde but has through experience preferred the larger woman's body... So with dating, it does reflect the age group and what at different ages, men look for.

I read a post here for instance which said, i preferred her at 220lb's now she is 160lbs and i don't know how old he is but suspect in his late 30's.

So yes, in my age group, if a man is divorced, widowed, separated, he has had a few relationships or maybe one fantastic one, that he will not compromise on for the next "long term partner", as he knows what he wants and is prepared to wait. Same, really for me. And, regardless of age, if the (two souls) do not connect with inner beauty, passion then one is not enough.

But i am confident at my age, i know what i am after, and remembering it was 6 months before i met this guy. Before that and in fact even today, there are 6 or so lurking around trying to win me over, but i know what i want as well and whether i had a date with those guys, or no date, none of them are what i am after but doesn't stop them trying...

Which brings me to that point of my ex-brother-in-law, yep, men are men, as i stated here though, he would not look at her in that fashion because she was over weight but he connected big time. So, he called it "friendship", and they went to movies, dinners, wineries, continuing to call it "friendship", but he had to give in in the end, because it was pointless, he fell for her "inner soul" from day one trust me, but refused to go out with a woman whom did not meet the "criteria" of that that he had in his mind, that outside beauty of weight. And, they live together, bought it out into the open 4 years ago, but she knew all the way along or felt all the way along that she would succeed and all the time felt that they were dating, i assume that they did sleep together early on in the piece as well " as friends" but that is a classic example of a younger generation than me, that "thought" of the outside but fell for the inside and history is well, history.........

So i gave a few examples of different ages.

But i agree if i go back to the 18/19 and 20's, certainly i walked also with confidence and certainly i was asked for marriage at 19 and again at 21, 25 but did not go there as i knew what i was looking for. Where you may have found, I kept searching as no one was capable of touching my "soul".... So you never know with life then do you?

As you know, i will fight for this one, because he has reached the "soul" and we will see...

[C]

Well, it's scary being "older"...lol...

No, i know i did state that he is seeing it from a younger age than me, and i agreed that as such it's that tall blonde that looks great that he wants to see.

But as there are all sorts of ages reading this thread, of all shapes and sizes, i was making that stance of the difference between young, almost young ( like me ) ha, middle age and older, as such "dating" may be looked at differently from what a man is looking for. As you state someone "older", may no longer need that tall blonde but has through experience preferred the larger woman's body... So with dating, it does reflect the age group and what at different ages, men look for.

I read a post here for instance which said, i preferred her at 220lb's now she is 160lbs and i don't know how old he is but suspect in his late 30's.

So yes, in my age group, if a man is divorced, widowed, separated, he has had a few relationships or maybe one fantastic one, that he will not compromise on for the next "long term partner", as he knows what he wants and is prepared to wait. Same, really for me. And, regardless of age, if the (two souls) do not connect with inner beauty, passion then one is not enough.

But i am confident at my age, i know what i am after, and remembering it was 6 months before i met this guy. Before that and in fact even today, there are 6 or so lurking around trying to win me over, but i know what i want as well and whether i had a date with those guys, or no date, none of them are what i am after but doesn't stop them trying...

Which brings me to that point of my ex-brother-in-law, yep, men are men, as i stated here though, he would not look at her in that fashion because she was over weight but he connected big time. So, he called it "friendship", and they went to movies, dinners, wineries, continuing to call it "friendship", but he had to give in in the end, because it was pointless, he fell for her "inner soul" from day one trust me, but refused to go out with a woman whom did not meet the "criteria" of that that he had in his mind, that outside beauty of weight. And, they live together, bought it out into the open 4 years ago, but she knew all the way along or felt all the way along that she would succeed and all the time felt that they were dating, i assume that they did sleep together early on in the piece as well " as friends" but that is a classic example of a younger generation than me, that "thought" of the outside but fell for the inside and history is well, history.........

So i gave a few examples of different ages.

But i agree if i go back to the 18/19 and 20's, certainly i walked also with confidence and certainly i was asked for marriage at 19 and again at 21, 25 but did not go there as i knew what i was looking for. Where you may have found, I kept searching as no one was capable of touching my "soul".... So you never know with life then do you?

As you know, i will fight for this one, because he has reached the "soul" and we will see...

But this is youth talking and you are just slightly older than youth....When you are in love the years accept the weight and all the aging becomes part of life...Your lover has captured your soul and you his, he no longer notices the weight and beauty never dies. What this same man was attracted to when he was young, he forgets. For his lover looks the same to him even after all these years.

I will never know another man in my life. You and I both have found our soul mate. When the OP talked about what he wants and seeks, I saw a relection of youth and who I was and age became a place that was forgotten...But the memories of all my yesterday's appeared and they were good...

So our young man is seeking his own "woman of his dreams"....But then CW, how many of them are around like you and I???? He just may have to travel far and wide in search for another like us........Take care, Caroline

[CHANDLERS WISH]

But this is youth talking and you are just slightly older than youth....When you are in love the years accept the weight and all the aging becomes part of life...Your lover has captured your soul and you his, he no longer notices the weight and beauty never dies. What this same man was attracted to when he was young, he forgets. For his lover looks the same to him even after all these years.

I will never know another man in my life. You and I both have found our soul mate. When the OP talked about what he wants and seeks, I saw a relection of youth and who I was and age became a place that was forgotten...But the memories of all my yesterday's appeared and they were good...

So our young man is seeking his own "woman of his dreams"....But then CW, how many of them are around like you and I???? He just may have to travel far and wide in search for another like us........Take care, Caroline

Beautifully said... CW

[bubbles]

sorry i just read the first thread and it made me mad....... women and what we have been through in general with men in history.... its just a topic that gets my blood boiling. i dont mean to offend anyone.

[Little]

As I insinuated in my first post on this topic, I think this is a JOKE.
People are people. People are different.
Individualism, don't fail me now!!

Oh noezzzz, a wummin doesn't wanna lews that waight!

Seriously. How many men do I see at the Wal-mart every visit with stomachs bigger than my sister's was when she was pregnant with twins?
People who care about their weight will watch it. They will eat right and exercise. Lots of women aren't gluttons for pain and were never properly taught how to exercise. Lots of men, too, for that matter.
Take a glance at gym classes these days: in my high school, 9 weeks of gym were all that were required for FOUR YEARS. Thank God I took NJROTC. We had textbook sections about proper exercise. I could almost be a personal trainer.
But also: I take an overload of classes and still work 20+ hours per week. I walk to class and work on the fourth floor every day. Where on earth am I supposed to fit in exercise? Somehow I manage it, sparingly. Don't get me wrong; I eat exactly what I want when my budget allows and I am no dainty little fairy.
I'm strong; I can run a mile without stopping and haul a load. I can steer my SUV when my power steering fails.
But I DON'T have time to exercise like a maniac.

And anyways, everybody knows that skinny, "dainty little fairies" are less fertile than a woman with some curve. I am a woman with some curve. I am "overweight," but take a tape to me and measure the muscle mass I happen to have and you'll find out pretty quickly that numbers mean very little.
I will never be within my "healthy weight range." God help me if I ever am.
But the media targets women with this advertisement: "I LAWST SEVVUNTEE PAONDS WIF SLIMFAST, AND AH DIDUNT EXURSAIZ!"
And men get this: "I lost 7 inches off my waist, and gained 3 inches of muscle on each arm!"

Oh, media, be my little scapegoat.

[rcoreyus]

I find women who are interesting to talk to, and fun to be around attractive. I especially like women who I can speak to frankly - hate the "walking on eggshells" whenever I say something that might be offensive. I like to talk (thats why I'm here), and I like difficult subjects and moral / ethical puzzles. If I suggest that society would be better if women stayed at home to raise / teach their children, I want an arguement as to why I am wrong, not just a "that's offensive" (duckiin for cover <g>).

Physical beauty is fine - I certainly appreciate beauty, but It has little bearing on whether I want to spend any time with the person.

Guess I'm just strange.

[C]

As I insinuated in my first post on this topic, I think this is a JOKE.
People are people. People are different.
Individualism, don't fail me now!!

Oh noezzzz, a wummin doesn't wanna lews that waight!

Seriously. How many men do I see at the Wal-mart every visit with stomachs bigger than my sister's was when she was pregnant with twins?
People who care about their weight will watch it. They will eat right and exercise. Lots of women aren't gluttons for pain and were never properly taught how to exercise. Lots of men, too, for that matter.
Take a glance at gym classes these days: in my high school, 9 weeks of gym were all that were required for FOUR YEARS. Thank God I took NJROTC. We had textbook sections about proper exercise. I could almost be a personal trainer.
But also: I take an overload of classes and still work 20+ hours per week. I walk to class and work on the fourth floor every day. Where on earth am I supposed to fit in exercise? Somehow I manage it, sparingly. Don't get me wrong; I eat exactly what I want when my budget allows and I am no dainty little fairy.
I'm strong; I can run a mile without stopping and haul a load. I can steer my SUV when my power steering fails.
But I DON'T have time to exercise like a maniac.

And anyways, everybody knows that skinny, "dainty little fairies" are less fertile than a woman with some curve. I am a woman with some curve. I am "overweight," but take a tape to me and measure the muscle mass I happen to have and you'll find out pretty quickly that numbers mean very little.
I will never be within my "healthy weight range." God help me if I ever am.
But the media targets women with this advertisement: "I LAWST SEVVUNTEE PAONDS WIF SLIMFAST, AND AH DIDUNT EXURSAIZ!"
And men get this: "I lost 7 inches off my waist, and gained 3 inches of muscle on each arm!"

Oh, media, be my little scapegoat.

My first impression was this guy has to be kidding...I thought back to how it was when I met my sailor and that is how it was.....Oh sure I will never be that thin again and frankly don't give a darn.....I like me...If I got real thin again it would age me and very honestly, I love it here...so I will just have to fail his test...

[Little]

Caroline, you reminded me of something else:
Women who are "overweight" (not obese, mind you) age very well. Those little mexican women you see at the market? You'll probably never know their real ages, or be able to guess them. Even though they've raised children, filled out stacks of citizenship papers, and been on their hands and knees to scrub the floor all their lives, because their society doesn't view extra weight as being unhealthy, they are able to keep their looks without botox and surgery.
Even out-and-out "fat" people age a lot better than those who spent their teen/young adult years dieting their tail ends off (literally.)
Thank goodness for people like you, rcoreyus. Without influences like yours, the members of this board might have to assume that all men are sexist pigs, or some less socially acceptable moniker. But that would violate my own principle: People are people. We're all different in our own ways.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

But then CW, how many of them are around like you and I???? He just may have to travel far and wide in search for another like us........Take care, Caroline

Actually, in reflection, i imagine there are lots..... Perhaps C, your more open and i'm starting to be, that's all.

And, a lot of what this "young man" has stated, i have read on dating sites, because yep, i'm forever seeking knowledge, so i am not so sure it is his personal thoughts, rather a vast statement without contemplating the individualities, or ages truthfully.. But everyone to their own.

Just my Opinion".