[atskitty2]

Rain, thanks for your feedback. I never meant to imply I'd give it up for him, completely. I'm just not ready to give up on him, completely, after one bad kiss. I think it deserves a second chance, an effort, when all other aspects are solidly in place for this stage. I won't be compromising on this issue, at this stage of my life. This is obviously a big ding against us, but it is possible we could adapt to each others style & be satisfied. I'm going to just ask him what he thought/felt about the encounter. That open communication is the tone I'd like to set here, voicing concerns & being honest, even when it's a sensitive & potentially hurtful topic. I think he can handle it-we've had some tough discussions already.

One of my friends also told me to have sex with him right away. I think, if the first physical contact for us (kissing) was incompatible, that jumping into bed is going to reveal no grand skills or sudden meshing of our technique, but only solidify that first impression. Seems to me that having what would certainly be bad sex, would ruin any chance there may be. I'd rather make an effort to communicate, & guide things in a different way, so that maybe a great experience could be had by both of us eventually.

I'm not naive. I realize this is probably not going to improve markedly, to a level that I wasn't actually turned off by it. But I should try. It's the right thing to do, and if I don't, I'll always wonder if it could have been salvaged. I don't want to wonder if I let a great guy go, without making every effort to make it work. Intimacy & sex aren't minor issues, so, it deserves an effort, but I'm prepared for the worst, realistically.

[effy2014]

You are taking the best approach. If he is as open to communicating about difficult issues, he will hopefully be as open to learning new styles of kissing. Could be that someone else trained him to do what he is doing.

I'm with you, kissing is very important . . . More so than sex. Let us know what happens.

[atskitty2]

Well, I'm so glad I didn't bail on him. I kissed him yesterday, and then I casually mentioned to him it seems we have very different approaches. He said he had noticed, but really liked my kiss. We talked about it, then spent awhile practicing and trying out each other's techniques. It was amazing! He is amazing! I took a rather aggressive approach to it, and he really took to my way. I then asked him to teach me his favorite kiss. It was quite the moment...
Nothing beyond kissing, but it was so incredibly intimate and bonding for us.
I can't imagine we just met a week ago. I trust him, and I'm completely comfortable with him.

We spent the whole day together, and not just kissing!
I am smitten. I've had a goofy grin on my face all day, and it feels great!

[raindancer]

It sounds like you're getting your cake and eating it, too! Good girl!!

[atskitty2]

Well, CW, he is definitely communicating his thoughts & feelings and yes, I think I may have a boyfriend or something going on here! lol He pointed out today that we've only known each other about 10 days, but we've spent every possible opportunity together.

[effy2014]

Adaptability is so important in a relationship. Here's to goofy grins!!

[Something_Awesome]

I was actually smiling when I read your update about the successful kissing. You're dating posts are always the best reads.

[Something_Awesome]

Good catch CW. I don't think Kitty uses "lol" often. So you know she's in to him.

[atskitty2]

Caught up in a whirlwind...
I have a boyfriend...yeah, I do, most certainly. The discussion was adorably juvenile...my sophisticated, intellectual man fumbling around with his words. It was odd, it was beautiful & it was memorable that there was some discussion, after only 10 days, of whether there was any interest in dating others, or focusing on what we'd found.

We spent ALL weekend together. Odd timing, my weekend off. We ran errands, doing everyday chores together, post office & grocery. Then out on the town together at night, in classy, upscale joints in our city. It is so natural to be with him, it's nearly frightening, and I told him that. We cooked together too. He spent the nights at my home, no sex...

So, what is simply amazing about this man is that we are communicating about everything. Mainly, the fact that we have known each other a very short time & there's reason to be cautious, but acknowledging the chemistry & comfort we have together. We discuss everything, and while it's a bit exhausting at times, we both know it's necessary to get to know each other in a very real way.

I have voiced my concerns about him, and he has voiced his. I'm concerned mainly that he's on the rebound. He's been officially divorced for less than 1 year, but separated about 1.5 yrs. He is concerned that I will not be able to handle his line of work, that requires a lot of travel.

For these reasons, we are moving forward slowly really. We are loving this thing that's happened, calling it what it is, and we're both analytical, overthinking people so we're guarded as we proceed. We are expressing our thoughts, feelings as they come. We are saving physical gratification until we know things are solid and we have a future. This is as much his choice as mine. We've discussed sex, as far as whether we may potentially be compatible, because it's important to us both, but we haven't advanced the physical just yet.
Based on the kissing thing, and how we communicate & seek to please each other in other areas, I foresee a satisfying sex life as well.

He will begin a new work project (he's currently not working) in January. It's his thought to see how I handle that adjustment, to not having him accessible so much.

That's the update. He met my dogs, and passed their "sniff test".
His birthday is Saturday, and we're discussing plans for that tomorrow. I have already bought him a gift...and thinking ahead to Christmas gifts...

Sigh...what do y'all think?

[Something_Awesome]

Sounds pretty awesome. How old is he btw? Also, is it possible for you to explain what feels so "natural" about him? The reason I ask is because he seems to have earned your trust very early on in meeting him, and I get the impression that it can be pretty tough to earn your trust (so quite an accomplishment).

And I also would not spend a second wondering if you guys are being juvenile or not... Just enjoy your time with the guy. There is nothing wrong with being juvenile together.

Also, he fumbled with his words when he talked about being a couple? Not a big deal. He fumbled because he was not sure how to not sound desperate/clingy. I think that's what usually goes through our minds at that moment. I mean, he knew you really liked him, but he didn't want to sound desperate.

As for the 10 days... My GF and I didn't even wait 10 days! So again, not a big deal.

What did you get him for his Bday? Any idea what you're getting him for Christmas? Pretty crazy how you knew what to get him because getting the right gift is the hardest thing to figure out. Right now he is stressing about your Christmas gift, so try to drop hints by saying you like this or that when you go shopping or something.

Btw, he's a Sagittarius isn't he? Omg!