I think I have never had this happen. And I realized last night, that this is probably a good thing, and how it *should* be, and all I've been thinking is, what in the world is wrong?
I started talking to a man a couple weeks ago. It wasn't the typical back and forth, but it was nice. We finally met one evening last week and ended up spending about 5 hrs together. Just chatting, people watching.
Saturday we had an early dinner and wound up hanging out until 2am with some friends. He never tried to kiss me, no hand holding or ***-grabbing, no defensive moves necessary to combat his wandering hands. No awkward make out session at the end of the evening.
Last night we got together for a couple hours.
He hasn't once tried to kiss me. I had to initiate the goodbye hug. Driving home, I thought, WTF is happening?
Texting my friends, alerting them to my perceived trouble. He texted me while I was sounding the alarm bells...and it dawned on me that I just totally overreacted to what's probably a healthy and normal progression of a friendship and possible relationship. He's made every indication that he is interested, other than the physical attack.
It could be that I'm expecting to be climbed all over, or at least have a verbal play by play made of my body during dinner...and I've become so warped into believing that is how it works all the time, and there must be something wrong if he's not trying to get in my pants by date 2.
I know on one thread recently, jns touched on over sexualization. I have had guys move more slowly, but this really threw me off. It could be a good thing here, but my mind had wondered off into things like, "maybe he's impotent", etc.
I'm kind of ashamed that I went there.
Of course it's too early to know anything...next time we meet I may get mauled. Or we may never meet again.
It's been an eye opener for me tho.
I know most of our regulars here are married or in committed relationships. This post isn't necessarily about me, but about how dating and forming romantic relationships works. How we seem to expect things to get physical so early on. "We" being all my friends, male or female. And I'm presuming most people these days are like that.
I think it can work both ways, of course. I think it's very sad that my mind ran away with me on this, and I wonder how much this happens to others. I know my friends have sent me similar messages after only the first date...
Anyway, do you think that we've become jaded in our approach to this? That there's a sort of, perceived lack of interest, if no physical attempt is made? Are we moving too quickly physically, in our culture, generally speaking?
I started talking to a man a couple weeks ago. It wasn't the typical back and forth, but it was nice. We finally met one evening last week and ended up spending about 5 hrs together. Just chatting, people watching.
Saturday we had an early dinner and wound up hanging out until 2am with some friends. He never tried to kiss me, no hand holding or ***-grabbing, no defensive moves necessary to combat his wandering hands. No awkward make out session at the end of the evening.
Last night we got together for a couple hours.
He hasn't once tried to kiss me. I had to initiate the goodbye hug. Driving home, I thought, WTF is happening?
Texting my friends, alerting them to my perceived trouble. He texted me while I was sounding the alarm bells...and it dawned on me that I just totally overreacted to what's probably a healthy and normal progression of a friendship and possible relationship. He's made every indication that he is interested, other than the physical attack.
It could be that I'm expecting to be climbed all over, or at least have a verbal play by play made of my body during dinner...and I've become so warped into believing that is how it works all the time, and there must be something wrong if he's not trying to get in my pants by date 2.
I know on one thread recently, jns touched on over sexualization. I have had guys move more slowly, but this really threw me off. It could be a good thing here, but my mind had wondered off into things like, "maybe he's impotent", etc.
I'm kind of ashamed that I went there.
Of course it's too early to know anything...next time we meet I may get mauled. Or we may never meet again.
It's been an eye opener for me tho.
I know most of our regulars here are married or in committed relationships. This post isn't necessarily about me, but about how dating and forming romantic relationships works. How we seem to expect things to get physical so early on. "We" being all my friends, male or female. And I'm presuming most people these days are like that.
I think it can work both ways, of course. I think it's very sad that my mind ran away with me on this, and I wonder how much this happens to others. I know my friends have sent me similar messages after only the first date...
Anyway, do you think that we've become jaded in our approach to this? That there's a sort of, perceived lack of interest, if no physical attempt is made? Are we moving too quickly physically, in our culture, generally speaking?
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