[needhelp55]

...

Let it go. I am still no longer with her. When we do talk or have sex the same things happen. Little by little I have been starting to fall out of love since the attachment no longer exists. Maybe you should try some time apart, at first you will want to crawl back but the same issue will be there. Get away for awhile live life some and you'll realize that she's either the one for you or like me you are mentally better off without her and her baggage. Good Luck!

[WildChild]

Stylerock,
In my younger days right out of HS, I fell and fell hard for a guy who was terribly jealous and who had been bady betrayed by another girl. I paid and paid heavily for his hurt and inability to get past the fact that he wasn't even close to being my first. Sex with him was amazing, no one else had been even close to that good but his constant accusations, questioning and moodiness nearly destroyed me. I started to hate myself and everything I had ever done. Being with him became a sort of twisted experience, I cared for him so much but being around him was miserable. When he finally ended the relationship I actually spent several years dealing with the emotional fallout from his treatment of me.

WC said it more gently, I'm going to be blunt. If you can't get past this and get past it soon, you need to end this relationship.

You are torturing yourself. She is who and what she is, just as you are. You can't change that about either of you. If you cannot love and accept her just as she is, you need to move on. No matter what you do, how you feel, how much you think about it, discuss it or how much you drive yourself nuts, her past will not change. Nor should it.

From your posts I think you are caring and sensitive man and would be a great man to be with...for the right woman. Obviously this one isn't right for you. That isn't a fault in her. Nor isn't a fault in you. You have certain ideals and she doesn't fit them and never will. It is possible that given time and a lot more life experience, your needs and concerns will change. That isn't now and you have to deal with where you are now. Some things in life we can't do much about, we can't change the weather, we can't get a different family or a different body but darned near anything else we can change. A different job, live in a different place, choose different friends. This girl may have some very special characteristics that attract you but I guarantee there are dozens more who would be just as special and who are better suited to you.

I have a sign on my office wall, it says, "You don't get any extra points for suffering" Why spend so much time beating yourself up over this? Yes, A good relationship takes effort and work but it should be fun! There should be joy, pleasure at being together. I have spent so many years in unhappy relationships, thinking that if I could just 'fix' this or that it would work - it never did. I just spent a lot of time swimming upstream trying to be happy in an unhappy situation. You've agonized over this for quite a while. Save yourself some grief and learn from someone else's experience! Get out of this, give yourself some time to learn to be happy on your own and then find some one you can enjoy unreservedly. Both and had she deserve a happier situation than this.

[OGFL]

chill!!!

title says it all, dont throw away a good relationship over something this trivial.

Alot people here have stated that if u cant get over to break up but the truth this is gonna bother in almost every relationship down road ( in one way or another). So u need to try and figure out how to cope with this ( even if this relationship your in now fails) or most of the relationships in your life down the road are most likely going to have the same problem.

[Aithneu]

title says it all, dont throw away a good relationship over something this trivial.

Alot people here have stated that if u cant get over to break up but the truth this is gonna bother in almost every relationship down road ( in one way or another). So u need to try and figure out how to cope with this ( even if this relationship your in now fails) or most of the relationships in your life down the road are most likely going to have the same problem.

This is a good point. This is an issue that you're going to face in the future, and you stated earlier that she is someone you want to marry right? So my advice is that in order to get over this you need to first discuss with her careless butt that she should never make comments about her past sex life. Also spice things up in the bedroom- it'll make you feel more confident in your relationship and I'm sure it'll lead to benefits in your emotional/mental connection with her as well.

One more thing- Perhaps someone told you to sit her down and tell her it bothers you that she kicks it with her exbfs. DON''T DO THAT! she'll immediately start talking with her friends about it and theyll make you out as controlling and jealous. You're seriously going to just have to get over that. It isn't reasonable to tell her not to hang with them at all. However it is shady you haven't met any of them in person. Though it'll be wierd and awkward you'll be able to show those guys that she's yours- throw your arm around her shoulder or give her a peck in front of them. It'll make you feel better.