[ThexMrs]

Today my ex boyfriend and I talked on the phone for a little bit and then went out separate ways. I emailed him a little later and this is the conversation. I just don't understand.

You have to read from the bottom to the top. That's the way this works. The very bottom is the first email and the very top is the last.

Tell me what you think, please... I am so confused.




From: Lindsay

You're doing it again! No answer... I always tease you about moving here and whatnot because I don't think that you ever will. It's just fun. We both laugh about it. I just wonder... And you're not giving me any kind of answer unless there are some lines I am supposed to read between.



From: Marty

Johnson every time we talk it turns into this conversation you know. Please just let it be.



From: Lindsay

You're not going to hurt my feelings. You're hurting me by not telling me the truth. If you don't love me anymore you have to tell me because I always feel there is a little hope there and I can't completely move on.



From: Marty

I don’t want to hurt your feelings or upset you. I have no idea what the future holds.



From: Lindsay Johnson

Yes, I know that. That's not what I am saying though. Why don't you ever tell me that you don't love me? Why don't you ever tell me that you will never, ever move here? I don't understand why you don't just tell me the truth.



From: Marty

Cause you’re my friend and I like to talk to you.



From: Lindsay

How come you never flat out tell me no? You avoid, you make jokes, you think but you never say no. Why is that?



From: Marty

Ok I’ll start being a jerk than lol!



From: Lindsay

How well do I know you? Come on... Everything I described is you. This is how I see you. No blinders, just who you are. That's why I love you so much. That's why I try to change your mind. I know who you are and that is the person that I want. There is no one else like you.



From: Marty

You make me sound like I’m someone else lol.



From: Lindsay

Yes, I know this is JUST the way you are.
JUST amazing.
JUST funny.
JUST cute.
JUST wonderful.
JUST the one I want.
JUST you.



From: Marty
Oh stop it Johnson, this is just the way I am.



From: Lindsay

If being mean is what it takes then go for it because I can't get over you when you're being the REAL you, like now. There is nothing I don't like about you. (Pretty much) You make it so hard.



From: Marty

Ok I’ll be mean, lol



From: Lindsay

You need to stop being so nice to me.



From: Marty

Yes I know that.



From: Lindsay

Oh Putty... Don't be like that. I am sitting here smiling. I just wanted to tease you a little bit between the calls I am making. It makes my day better to get in a little tease here and there. Look at this face! You can't really be mad at it. I'm adorable and I have a heart of gold.



From: Marty

Grrrrrrrrrrr.



From: Lindsay

Should I start looking in the Real Estate section? (Haha)

[Hopeless Dork]

From: Lindsay

How come you never flat out tell me no? You avoid, you make jokes, you think but you never say no. Why is that?

From: Marty

Cause you’re my friend and I like to talk to you.

From: Marty

I don’t want to hurt your feelings or upset you. I have no idea what the future holds.

I don't think he's being vague there. He doesn't want to say things to hurt you even if you say they won't. People don't like doing that, generally and will avoid it at all costs. This is why so many guys withdraw and become jerks instead of just breaking up... they wait for us to do it because they don't want to feel guilty.

You pleaded with him to give you some sign of hope, he could not oblige. If he at all thought there was possibility... he would have given that to you. He doesn't want to be the cause of you being sad, he enjoys your company and doesn't want to lose you as someone to talk to. But he's toeing the line, making sure not to give you false hope, while not trying to scrape your heart on the ground at the same time.

Thats how I saw that.

[ThexMrs]

That is one way to put it (which I've considered) but during our phone conversations he says that he he thinks about moving here and that it sounds like a great idea. A week goes by and then he's quiet again. One time a couple of weeks ago he slipped up and started telling me that he loves me.

When we were together he would say that he doesn't know what the future holds and can't make any moves at that point in time.

The other night we discussed his mortgage and how we could pay it if he moved here and he even chimed in with ideas about it. That's what I don't understand. He's hot and then he's cold.

It doesn't make any sense.

[Guest]

What about Jared


I know Marty is a good friend of yours. But do you think that you will be able to COMPLETELY be with Jared if Marty moved here. And he is right. We never know what the future holds. I think he's trying to figure stuff out for himself. Maybe if you don't talk to him for awhile he can have a clear mind and he will REALLY give you that YES or NO answer you've been looking for. Sometimes it difficult to make choices regarding people we care about. You have to give him time. In the meanwhile you have Jared; who wants to be with you.

[ThexMrs]

What about Jared? I haven't heard from him in two days. I've called, texted, what else is there left for me to do? He's not doing his part.

If Marty were to move here it would be for us to be together. I would leave Jared in a heartbeat. Marty gives me what Jared doesn't.

[OGFL]

As well as cheats on you when you are not around

[ThexMrs]

He made a mistake. I understand why he made that mistake too. It's not as if he wasn't/isn't sorry. He even told me when he didn't have to. I never would have found out. I do give him credit for that. I believe that people can change and I also believe that it wouldn't have happened had we not been some 3,000 miles away from each other. Everything in our relationship was good except the distance. The only part that was missing was the physical.

[Guest]

What about Jared? I haven't heard from him in two days. I've called, texted, what else is there left for me to do? He's not doing his part.

True. There's only so much one can do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Everything in our relationship was good except the distance. The only part that was missing was the physical.

Not everyone can live off of emotions alone, women can, men can't, they need more I believe.

Distance is extremely difficult but almost imposible without the "intimate bonding"...

I really don't like this small print - WT!!!!

I think he likes you, liked you, has / had a love for you but the distance wasn't an option...

If you want to see if it would ever work, forget him... Move on with your life, what will be will be.

If he really misses you and wants something out of this relationship, he will eventually move and then you can see, in -fact Linds it may be so different if you were in the same place 24/7.... You may change your mind, thoughts on him.

A man's defence when he doesn't want to hurt someone is to say nothing.....

CW

[OGFL]

[QUOTE=ThexMrs;98086][B][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="Magenta"]What about Jared? I haven't heard from him in two days. I've called, texted, what else is there left for me to do? He's not doing his part.

well to be honest he might have caught wind of what you did behind his back but till he actually talks to you just speculation on my part