[WildChild]

Give yourself some time. Work on you for a while. What will make you happy without any men in the picture? What can you do for you, to find your joy? How is the job going? What progress toward school?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

7 days and not a single word to Marty. I haven't called, emailed or texted him. He however texted me on Friday and I didn't respond. He sent me a picture along with the text. This is harder than I thought it would be. It's slowly killing me. I cry sometimes... I get the strong, strong urge to call but I resist. I know he's wondering what I am doing. He did text me afterall. I hate being in love with someone I can't have or could have under different living arrangements.

Jared sucks... I don't want to talk about him right now. So... No update.

Kind of way proud of you...

It's hard, tough but it also make Marty see he doesn't hold the strings, you are tough after all..

It's okay to cry...

We all have emotions...

Imagine? He's wondering, and it may make him realise and if it doesn't? Then it wasn't meant to be and you can have closure..

Sorry sweet but that's the positive to both sides of this.

Thinking of you.

CW

[ThexMrs]

Give yourself some time. Work on you for a while. What will make you happy without any men in the picture? What can you do for you, to find your joy? How is the job going? What progress toward school?

I am definitely working on myself. I'm focused on healing (if I could just find a therapist) and work. That's my life right now. School I am still waiting to hear back from. It says that I am eligible for 6,000 but I haven't gotten any REAL conformation on what is happening.

The job is good. It has it's ups and downs. I'm really focused and I'm feeling good about that... At least I am right now. The only thing is that it is commission based, no salary. If I don't work, I don't make money, you know? I kind of feel like this job might turn me into a workaholic.

Kind of way proud of you...

Thanks CW. I am too. Marty texted me today and I didn't respond though I was getting ready to. He wrote, "What's going on Johnson? And don't be ignoring me either." Well, I ignored him. I'm making a stand for myself. It feels good.

Jared called me last night. I hate what he does to me. I can be mad but when he calls it just kind of fades away. We had a good little talk. I still don't know though.

[ThexMrs]

Sigh... Marty called me today. I was on the other line with my mother and I told her to hold on. His name kept popping up and I just stared at it. I almost answered and then I was like, NO! You've made it this far, don't do that to yourself. Guess what I did? Nope... I didn't answer! I'm so proud of myself. He left a voicemail saying that he was wondering what was up with me because I don't text him anymore and that he wanted me to call him. So... I am going to call him. I am only going to tell him that I am not talking to him because well... You all know why I would think. That will be it.

Jared call me today... He said he misses me, loves me and I need to get my butt home.

[ThexMrs]

Wow... Calling Marty back was a huge mistake. I couldn't breathe, my hands were shaking and now that I have talked to him I am very upset with myself. I'm very, very ****ed off right now. I told him how I felt and he said he understands but doesn't want to lose me either. I told him that maybe I would talk to him once a week but that I can't do this with him. He told me I was being ****y so I got off of the phone with him. Then I texted him which makes me even more upset. I really want to cry right now.

I wrote: "Maybe I am a little ****y but I don't feel it's without right. You knew what was happening with me and that I was falling in love with you all over again. You just sat back and let it happen. You never once said that there wasn't hope. I was fine. I was over you. Now I am back at square. So... You get it now?"

Then I wrote: " "Maybe I'm just delusional, huh?"

That was it. I'm so so so angry!

[WildChild]

It's another learning experience. Just take it for what it is. You didn't end up having sex with him, making plans to see him or anything like that. You falling for him isn't his responsibility, you have to own that. If it isn't what you want, if it is something you know is bad for you, don't give it so much of your attention and energy. Let go of it. You've had your say to him, now just let it go there doesn't have to be any more contact if you don't want it.

[ThexMrs]

I think that it's 50/50 in this particular situation and maybe I am wrong but I don't think so. I told him that I loved him, he told me that he loved me, I told him that I wanted him to move here, he said that sounded like a great idea, I told him how my feelings were for him and he never once said that he didn't feel the same or that there wasn't a chance of anything ever happening. That to me sounds like a 50/50 role. Sure, I fell for him all over again but I didn't do it off of nothing. He never once gave the impression that we wouldn't get back together. So...

Anyways, I'm sad now but I'm not angry anymore. I went for a long walk and ended up down at the river for a while. That was nice. I didn't bring my phone. I just sat there with my thoughts. I decided to go home tomorrow. I think I need to be back there again even though I hate it. I have to continue to do as I said and focus on myself and work.

[Surferrgirl]

Men say what they mean. He doesn't like you and he doesn't want to hurt you because your his friend. Men don't understand that being vague can led a girls heart on and they like the attention from a beautiful girl. I would say slowly cut it off. Let him know your serious and that this friendship is hurting your heart instead of uplifting or strengthening your heart. It will be painful but you'll be stronger afterward.

[WildChild]

Unfortunately not all men do always say what they mean. No more so than all women do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Very true, often they don't speak because they do in fact understand the emotions of a female and so the choose not to.

But just because he needs "you" in his life. Doesn't give him the right to use you like a fishing line, reel you in, send you out, reel you in...

He refused to give you closure............

He's selfish...

CW